Just A Little Courage
by Empress of Yaoi
Summary: Walking into a bar with only one thing on his mind, his eyes search for one person in particular. But even if he finds this person, what then?
1. Chapter 1

_**Author's Note:**_ The plotbunnies jumped me! I had no defense! 

I bow down in gratitude, for my amazing Beta: _Mswan._ You are beyond amazing, beyond wonderful and beyond every other synonym I could ever come up with.

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ I do not own any of these characters, Kishimoto does. I only own my own creativity and _just a little courage._

))O((

Just A Little Courage

))O((

My eyes scan the inside of the dusky bar. I've never been here before, even though it's a popular place. But bars aren't really my cup of tea, so to speak, so I hesitantly let my gaze wander around. I'm looking for someone, I wouldn't _be_ here otherwise. The air inside the bar is smoky and it smells of alcohol and too many bodies. But I try to ignore that. I also try to ignore the loudness of it all, the deafening sound of partygoers beyond the point of just being drunk. 

There! Over at the table in the far corner, I find the one I was looking for. Now I must undertake the task of _getting_ there, not as easy as it sounds. The bar is heavily packed with patrons, and there isn't a clear path to be found anywhere. So I have to push my way through, hoping against hope that the alcohol consumption at _this_ particular table hasn't exceeded a certain point yet. 

As I draw nearer, I begin to fear that my fragile hope was in vain. The people at the table I am moving towards are just as loud, if not louder, than the ones I have already passed. A small sigh escapes me, but I try to hold my head up high. I try to hold on to my withering smile, even though it's hard. 

Reaching the table, I open my mouth only to have my voice drowned out by a surge of laughter. Wiggling on the balls of my feet, I wait for the laughter to die down once more, wait for someone to notice me. I'm losing my confidence, losing the patience to stand here waiting. Another small sigh escapes me, and the person closest to me looks up. 

For a moment, his words elude me. I am taken in by deep, dark eyes. Unable to move, unable to comprehend. But then he speaks again, his lips forming around my name. It is impossible not to smile as his voice calls out my name, and I do my utmost to suppress the shiver running down my spine. 

"Hey, want to join us?" He immediately scoots over on the wooden bench, making room for me to sit down as he picks a glass with an unnamed liquid from the tray in the middle of the table, setting it down beside himself, where he has invited me to sit. 

For only the briefest of moments, I hesitate. But then I sit down. There isn't much room, so our bodies are pressed up against each other, not a bad way to sit if you ask me. Even though he hardly seems to notice, I am aware of every slight move he makes, every part of our bodies that is touching. Hips, shoulders, arms, legs – this is almost a dream come true. If all these other people wouldn't be here, if all that alcohol wasn't in his system, it would be. 

There is laughter all around us, tongues thick with alcohol. I try to ignore all that, focus solely on his body beside my own, _against_ my own. My hand reaches for the glass, an almost instinctual thing. Lifting it up to my nose, I try to guess what's inside it, but I cannot begin to even fathom the _possibilities._ Another small sigh, and I set the glass back down. 

"Don't like it?" His elbow gently pokes me in the ribs, an amicable gesture that I don't welcome. I'd much rather he'd be less _friendly_ and more… Intimate. But that's hoping for too much, I know. 

My voice is quiet, too quiet and he leans over as I repeat myself, "I don't usually drink…" 

Clearly surprised, he raises one eyebrow before bringing his lips so close to my ear that I can feel his breath. It tickles, but I make a conscious attempt to ignore that, and listen to his voice, "Then what brings you to the local watering hole, Iruka-sensei?" 

I swallow, suddenly becoming aware that most of the guys at the table are staring at me. I can feel my cheeks start to burn, dipping my head down to hide that fact. The men around me are all active shinobi, while I spent my days teaching little kids which side of the kunai is supposed to go in the target. It's more than a little embarrassing when you start thinking about it like that. 

Lifting my gaze slightly, I find that they are _still_ staring, the laughter and conversations at the table have died down and I find myself at the mercy of these men. These men that live the true life of a shinobi while I, for all intents and purposes, do not. I have the lowest rank at this table, the safest job. All around are jounin and tokubetsu and I am just a chuunin. A _schoolteacher._ They risk their lives on a daily basis, I only risk minor injuries to my pride. They have specific, advanced skill sets, I only teach the basics. I swallow hard. This was a mistake. I shouldn't be here, I shouldn't have interrupted their night out. 

Sliding off the bench, I move to stand, mumbling an apology before turning for the door. There is no way this night could get any more embarrassing. I'm so sure. But as I take my first step away, I realize: I am naïve. This night can easily become more embarrassing and I've just proven that fact by walking straight into another man, carrying the next tray of drinks over to the table. He sways on his legs and the tray topples to the side. Without thinking, I reach out my hand, stabilize the tray before the glasses fall to the floor. A chorus of cheers sounds behind me and once again I feel my cheeks get hot. As Asuma increases his hold on the tray, I quickly move around him, head for the door once again. 

The bar is still as packed as ever and it takes me a while to reach the exit. But as the fresh night breeze caresses my hot cheeks, I take a deep breath and will myself to relax once more. This was a stupid mistake, but at least I didn't make a total fool out of myself, even managing to restore my reputation somewhat by saving their next round of spirits. I sigh, turning to go home when a voice calls out to me. I cannot turn around, feeling trapped inside a bizarre dream that just doesn't know when to give up and retreat back to the recesses of my mind. 

"So you don't drink, you don't talk and you don't stick around? What brought you here in the first place, Iruka-sensei?" 

I swallow hard, my voice barely audible and my body still refuses to turn around, "I was looking for someone." 

"Find 'em yet?" 

"Yeah… I found him…" 

He walks up to me, standing so close I can feel his body heat in the cold night air, "So now what? You're just going to leave again?" 

I worry the inside of my lip for a few seconds, unsure what to make of this situation, "Pretty much…" 

"Before even talking to him?" He steps around me now, leaning over his eyes search for mine. 

I look away, shuffling my feet a little, "I talked to him…" 

Taken aback, he straightens, his tone slightly higher than usual, "You only spoke to _me_ , Iruka-sensei…" 

I nod, folding my hands behind my back. A sliver of my usual confident demeanor returns to me and my voice is even and strong, "Correct." 

"Then what did you want from me?" 

His tone is soft, and I imagine I can hear a hint of understanding creep in. But it's most likely my imagination only. I worry the inside of my lip again, my confidence has dissipated once more and I don't feel up to the task I find myself presented with now. I cannot tell him, but I don't want to lie either. Trembling slightly, I swallow once more, looking away. 

"Iruka-sensei –" 

"I'm _not_ your sensei!" Annoyed, I finally look him in the eyes, "I'm _not._ I'm Iruka _Umino."  
_

Smirking, he extends his hand, taking the senbon out from between his lips and twirling it around the fingers of his free hand, "Genma Shiranui, happy to make your acquaintance." 

As the corners of my mouth twitch, I take his extended hand. I hesitate to speak, my fingers gripping his hand in a hold that must be getting painfully tight, but he doesn't react. I become increasingly aware that proper manners would have seen me let go of his hands seconds ago, but I can't. I just… _Can't.  
_

"Iruka?" 

There is a smile in his voice, but he doesn't pull away. Which is great, because I don't want to let go. Even though I know I _should_ , I really don't want to. If only I could speak now, that would probably help. Genma's mouth twitches, and he's almost chuckling before me, softly repeating my name. Swallowing, I worry the inside of my lip. I know I should probably _do_ something at this point, but I just can't force myself to do anything. 

"What's going to happen now, Iruka?" 

I sigh, but somewhere in the back of my head the decision is made now, " _This_ ," Abruptly pulling on the hand that's still in mine, I manage to catch him off balance, pressing my lips against Genma's before he has a chance to protest. 

My knees are trembling, and my heart is beating so hard it hurts, and my lips are positively _tingling_. Genma shows barely any reaction, and it scares me to death. So I pull back, feeling more insecure than ever, not to mention the fact that I feel like the biggest _fool_ ever. Who just up and _kisses_ someone? What guy just up and kisses _another guy?_ That he barely even _knows_! 

As I pull back, I swallow hard, getting ready to run away. I've just about decided to go live in the woods somewhere, so I'll _never_ run into this man again, but my escape is prevented by Genma's arm, wrapping around my shoulder and pulling my back. His lips reattach to mine and before I even know what's happening, his tongue runs across my lower lip and I automatically part my lips. 

Somewhere in the back of my head there is a huge fight going on. On one end, there's this voice yelling that I'm _kissing_ this man, the one that I've had a crush on for years now. The other voice is shouting back that Genma is most likely drunk, won't remember this in the morning, and even if he _does_ , will most likely regret this ever happened. 

Arms come around me and he presses his body up against mine. Unsure what to do with my own arms, I awkwardly move them around his body as well, but as Genma pulls back, I immediately drop them again. 

"So _that's_ what you wanted." 

He smiles at me, placing the senbon back between his lips with something that I can only characterize as a 'definitive gesture'. I bite down on my lip, taking a small step back once more, intending to make a run for it before he can say any more. But again, Genma reaches out, his hand grabbing hold of my sleeve. 

"Iruka, please don't walk away right now." 

My voice comes out cracked, "What _else_ could I possibly do?" 

"Stay, come back inside. Or, if you don't want to, join me for a… Eh… _Very_ late dinner," He scratches the back of his head, looking almost a little uncomfortable, "Although… it's _really_ late, huh? Just – I guess what I'm saying here is – no, not saying, _asking_ … Please, Iruka… Go on a date with me." 

"I w-… Eh, wait, _what_?" 

He takes a small step back, his confidence clearly deflating. I watch as he swallows, biting down on the senbon in his mouth. Hands are pushed deep inside pockets and Genma nervously clears his throat. 

"I just… I guess I thought…" He looks away for a brief moment, "Never mind." 

Turning, he clearly attempts to flee, but this time it's _my_ hand on _his_ sleeve that stops _him_. The action was an instinctual one, I have _no_ idea what to say. But as he looks back at me, eyes wide, I try nonetheless. 

"Wh-what did you think?" 

Genma pulls a little face, the senbon swishing over to the other side, his tone so soft it can't even be called a whisper and I have to strain my ears just to hear him over the noise that drifts out of the various bars, "That maybe you like me… Just a little?" 

He sounds carefully hopeful, and inside my head, the argument slowly quiets down, "Genma… Tell me something… Just how drunk are you right now?" 

I watch him chuckle, and he steps closer to me, leaning over so his breath tickles my ear once more as he whispers, "Completely. Sober. See, I. _Never_. Drink," He chuckles again, continuing his punctuation on every word, "I. Have. _Coffee_. Now, Iruka _Umino_ , will you please go on a date with me?" 

Nodding, I whisper back, "That's what I wanted." 

"You just got a little intimidated then?" 

Another nod on my part, I'm really loving the way his breath tickles me, how his voice sends shivers down my spine. I love smelling his faint cologne that matches so well with the shampoo he uses. But he suddenly moves back, and I'm left feeling like a fool once more. 

"Hey, Genma!" The voice calls out to him from behind me, from the door of the bar that we've just left, "You coming back in or what? Kakashi says he's got the next round!" 

Before me, Genma frowns lightly, "In a minute, Aoba!" Then, softer, "Dinner? Pick you up at seven tomorrow?" 

One more silent nod from me, and Genma departs. My legs warn me that they're about to give way and I stumble over to the nearest wall, leaning against it as I try desperately to calm down my beating heart, my ragged breath. I have a date with Genma Shiranui! I think… I think I might be the happiest person alive right now. No, scratch that, I'm _sure_ I am. 

On my way home, I find myself almost skipping. Just a little courage can go a long way. All the way to a date with Genma Shiranui!


	2. Chapter 2

_**Author's Note:**_ I decided to continue – even though I'm flying blind right now. I do _not_ have a clear plan people. There's a first time for everything, I guess… 

I bow down in gratitude, for my amazing Beta: _Marina._ You are beyond amazing, beyond wonderful and beyond every other synonym I could ever come up with. 

_**Disclaimer:**_ I do not own any of these characters, Kishimoto does. I only own my own creativity and _just a little courage._

))O((

Just A Little Courage

))O((

I must´ve changed clothes a dozen times already, whishing I owned something that wasn´t part of the standard Konoha shinobi uniform. Unsure what Genma will be wearing, I keep fiddling with the hem of my shirt. If he shows up in civilian clothes, I might very well be done for. It´s nearing seven o´clock now, and my heart seems to be trying to force its way out of my chest. My lungs refuse to take in enough air and I think I might be having a panic attack. I´ve been watching this man from a suitable distance for almost four years, I don't really think I can deal with him being that close to me. I don't even know what the hell I was _thinking_ last night! One minute I was catching up with a couple of old friends from my academy days, the next I found myself in a rather disgusting bar, trying to catch the eye of someone who´s so far beyond my league that he might as well live in another dimension. And yet… He kissed me. Asked me out on this date. Before returning to his buddies, that is. Maybe that´s a sign? Maybe he went back to brag about his latest conquest? But no, Genma doesn't seem like that kind of guy. Granted, I don't know much about him to be honest, but still… He doesn't seem like the kind that would use someone else's feelings just to look good in front of his friends. Or at least, I certainly hope not. 

I'm so nervous that my teeth are clattering, my hands are sweating and I can't stay still. So I start pacing. Back and forth through my small apartment, back and forth. Did I make the right decision here? Was I a fool for ever going to see Genma in the first place? Is this a pity thing? No, I honestly don't think so. But at the same time... Why would he want to go out with _me_? I want to go out with him because he's hot, and cool and funny, and caring, and hot. Oh, and did I mention yet how hot he is? But I've only ever admired Genma Shiranui from a distance, never before gotten even within a couple feet of the guy. I was too scared I'd give myself away. Too scared that he might be grossed out by the idea of dating another man. And even if he wasn't, there's no way I'd ever be good enough. After all, I'm just a schoolteacher, I'm just the guy that tries to teach the youngest generation the basics so their jounin sensei can take it from there. I lay the groundwork, nothing more really. Genma is a tokubetsu, a Hokage guard. No way I could ever match up to that. 

I jump as I hear the knock on the door. Three in a row, quick succession, confident. Oh boy, Genma´s so far ahead of me it´s almost painful. Swallowing, I try to smooth out the wrinkles in my shirt before moving to the door. My knees are trembling so bad I have to hold on to the wall for support. I´m pathetic. I bet that's not even Genma. And if it _is_ , he probably just came to laugh at me for thinking he´s really here to pick me up for a date. I´m _so_ sure. 

Reaching for the doorknob, my hand is shaking so much I almost can´t turn it. But eventually, I succeed, taking a deep breath before pulling the door towards me. I try to look casual, try to look as if I´m fine with whatever, even try to look bored. But there´s a hot blush on my cheeks that probably renounces all of that. A sigh works its way up, but I manage to hold it back, my eyes finally catching sight of Genma Shiranui, standing just outside my door. 

He´s wearing his uniform, flack vest and all. Thank heavens, I´m not the only one who´s wearing shinobi attire, though it makes it even more difficult to believe that he´s not here just to make fun of me. Though the slight blush on his cheeks might disprove that notion again. On the other hand – it could just as well be suppressed laughter. After all, what the hell do I know?  
His hands are pushed deep inside his pockets, his stance just shy of looking relaxed. The small smile playing around his lips could mean just about anything. The tiny frown on his brow is anything but reassuring. 

I try to swallow the lump in my throat away, "Hey…" 

His smile widens a little, but the slight frown stays in place, "Hey Iruka," He clearly hesitates for a moment, and I stand frozen, "You ready to go?" His tone is quiet, and as his jaw moves a little, I can hear a strange, soft sound. Was that… Teeth against metal? Did he just _bite_ _down_ on that senbon? Wow… His dentist bill must be huge… 

"Eh, just a moment. Let me grab my vest and shoes…" I bite my lip, turning away to do as I said. A frown settles on my brow, should I've invited him in? I mean, my flack vest is just on the hook behind the door, my shoes are right here. But… Isn't that like, normal date etiquette? I honestly wouldn't know. Last date I went on was almost two years ago, and we'd agreed to meet at the restaurant that time. I don't exactly go around giving out my address to random guys – wait a minute! Hold on… 

Turning back to him, I know my eyes are wide, and there's fear in my voice no matter how hard I try to hide it, "How the hell did you know where I live…?" 

"Eh…" As Genma rubs the back of his head, he takes a small step back. And once again I hear that weird sound that seems to indicate him biting down on the senbon in his mouth, "I kind of… Pulled your file. I messed up last night, I didn't realize that I actually didn't know _where_ I'd be picking you up, and… Well, I couldn't contact you to ask either, because I didn't know where you live, so… Today, I… Pulled your file," He swallows hard, hurrying to add, "I didn't look at anything else, I promise! I only needed the address, I didn't mean to impose on your privacy or anything, really!" 

His hands are lifted in a surrendering gesture, but that doesn't exactly change anything for me. My tone soft and almost threatening, "My address is secret, Genma. It's not _in_ my regular file. Just my mailbox at the academy. So you pulled the private file, and I'm not too sure if I'm okay with that…" 

"Look, Iruka," He takes a step towards me, his hands coming down a little in a soothing gesture, "Like I said, I only checked the address. I pulled the regular file first, and like you said, it wasn't in there. But I still had to find a way to show up here on time so… I pulled a favor and got access to the file vault. I guess I just assumed that all academy sensei have their address kept secret to ward off annoying parents… But I take it that's not the case, huh?" 

I shrug, "Some do. I have other reasons," Swallowing, I bite my lip, looking up at the older man. For a few seconds, I ponder my options before motioning for him to follow me as I retreat into my apartment. Behind me, I can hear him take off his sandals before closing the door. Soft footsteps follow me and for a second, I'm scared. But I shrug it off once more, I'm pretty confident that Genma Shiranui isn't the one that forced me to move, to hide my address. 

Sinking down on my couch, I point to the chair across from me, and Genma immediately sits down. He must've caught on to my nerves, because he's moving slowly, deliberately. I have to admit, it helps. I take a deep breath, but my voice will not rise above a whisper, "I never told anyone this before, only the people at the security office… When I came out a couple of years ago, there were some… Troubles," I smile wryly, "I expected as much, so I wasn't really upset about that. Most people accepted it and the little wrinkles were smoothed out soon enough. But a few months later…" I sigh, unsure how to say this without sounding stuck-up or self obsessed, "I got a picture in the mail. Someone took it through one of my windows. Me and my… Date, at the time," My nose wrinkles a little, it seems so wrong to tell _Genma_ , the guy I've been _wanting_ to date for _ages_ that I was on another date at the time. But I figure that if I explain anyway, it wouldn't do to keep that part out, "Anyway, the picture itself was pretty benign, I guess. I mean, nothing happened anyway, so… But it didn't stop there. Pictures kept coming in the mail, taken through the windows in my apartment. They got… Scary. Eyes crossed out, death threats written across them. Eventually… I couldn't take it anymore, so I went to see the security officers. They helped me relocate, switched my personal info to 'private'. But they never got the person responsible. So… People showing up at my door is… A little frightening sometimes… And I didn't realize last night either, by the way. I mean, this was years ago. But the second I realize that someone shouldn't actually _know_ where I live…" My voice trails off and I look away uncomfortably. 

"I see…" Genma's tone is soft, gentle, "I'm really sorry, I didn't know any of that. I think I'd get a little freaked too if someone just calmly showed up here after that… I'm really sorry Iruka, I honestly didn't realize…" 

"It's okay," I offer him a small smile, "Like I said, years ago. Still…" Worrying the inside of my lip, I pull at a loose threat on my worn couch, "I'm sorry, I basically forced you to do that, and then I almost _threaten_ you for looking up my address…" 

"Iruka," He leans over, clearly attempting to look me in the eyes. I swallow, but look up despite how insecure I feel, "I doubt I'd have reacted any different. All you did was let people know a small part of who you are, and you got death threats in return. That's just sick. I guess I'm lucky in that regard, worst _I_ ever got were a few jokes that didn't exactly come out right. But you have my word, Iruka Umino: I will not divulge this address to anyone, and if I _ever_ find out who did that to you, they're going to get a piece of my mind. And _trust_ me, they won't like it very much," He almost chuckles, winking at me, "Protection is what I do best, Iruka." 

I smile, it's an involuntary response to how safe he makes me feel. It's really incredible, the things I did these past two days. I can hardly believe I even went to that bar, and now I pretty much told someone I barely even know my biggest secret… This feels weird, but strangely liberating at the same time, "Thank you. I'm really sorry for going off on you like that…" 

"I'd have done the same, Iruka. People pointing a camera at you through the windows of your own apartment _is_ downright scary," He frowns a little, his gaze drifting over to the window, hidden behind thick curtains. I've learned to live in dim light, too afraid to let the sun – and possibly the camera – inside. 

"Have you gotten any more word from this person since you moved? Through the academy mailbox or something?" 

"No…" I worry the inside of my lip for a few seconds, "I've always thought that was kind of strange too…" 

Genma nods thoughtfully, "Maybe it was one of your old neighbors and they didn't actually know where you work. That's the only plausible explanation that _I_ can come up with anyway. Had any more trouble since you moved?" 

I shake my head, but then stop, remembering something, "Only one incident… But I'm actually not even sure if it was aimed at me _personally_ , so…" 

Genma's eyes are serious, as is his expression, "Would you please tell me about it?" 

I swallow, looking away for a minute. This is embarrassing, and besides _that_ … I want to get to know this man, I want to go on dates with him. That's right, _plural._ I think I like him even more than I ever _thought_ I did. So I don't really want to tell him this… 

Getting up, I worry the inside of my lip again, "Can I get you something to drink?" 

Genma's smile is soft, "That long a story, huh? Please, what do you have?" 

"Not that long, I suppose. Just that uncomfortable…" Shocked at my own openness, I swallow hard, but I try to hide it, continuing, "I've got tea, coffee, eh… I think some orange juice…" 

He smiles again, "Coffee please. And don't worry so much, okay? I honestly wouldn't be here if I didn't want to, and I wouldn't be asking these things if I didn't think I could help. Besides," Genma chuckles lightly, "I've never been a huge fan of the first date chit-chat that leads to absolutely nowhere. I want to get to know you better, I may or may not be particularly interested in the weather…" 

He smiles at me, and for some reason I find myself heavily resisting the urge to hug this man. Which would probably be about the tenth embarrassing thing I did today. Smiling back, I retreat into my kitchen. As I make the preparations for two servings of coffee, my mind wanders a little. Tentatively trying to find a way to comply with Genma's request. On one hand, I want to tell him everything. He makes me feel safe, and he somehow gives off this vibe that he might actually be able to solve the riddle of who's behind all this. But at the same time… I sigh, picking up the two large mugs and walking back to the living room. 

Genma's still sitting in the lounge chair, his legs crossed as he comfortably leans back. Seeing he hasn't moved is an immense relief for me – even though I don't even really understand why. I just don't like the thought of people walking around in my private space when I'm not around, I guess. 

As I enter the living room, he looks up, a warm smile on his face, "Ah… _That's_ what I call a cup of coffee… I never understood those people that show up with those tiny little cups," He chuckles a little, accepting the mug from me. 

"I didn't know if you take milk or sugar, so –" 

"Nope, black," Winking, he takes a sip, letting out a small, appreciative sigh. 

I chuckle a little, sitting back down on the couch and taking a sip of my own coffee. Setting the coffee down on the side table beside me, I pull my legs up, wrapping my arms around them as I turn my body a little so the position is more comfortable, "So… The, eh… _Incident_ …"


	3. Chapter 3

_**Author's Note:**_ Just for the record: No, I have _no_ idea where I'm going with this. 

I bow down in gratitude, for my amazing Beta: _Marina._ You are beyond amazing, beyond wonderful and beyond every other synonym I could ever come up with.

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ I do not own any of these characters, Kishimoto does. I only own my own creativity and _just a little courage.  
_

))O((

Just A Little Courage

))O((

"I… Well no, I can't really call him a boyfriend. It's just this guy I was going out with, not long after I'd moved. He didn't know why, but I would never meet up at my place, and he didn't know where I lived either. I didn't trust him enough," I worry the inside of my lip, feeling thoroughly ashamed. No, I didn't trust that guy enough to let him know where I live, but I trusted him enough to spent the night at his place… There's no way I can tell Genma that and not have the guy think I'm some kind of slut… 

"Iruka, after being forced to move the way you were, I can't imagine trusting _anyone_ with my address. I think I might not even tell my best friend…" Bringing his mug up to his lips, Genma takes a small sip, "And unless you know the guy _really_ well… No, I don't think boyfriend _could_ even top best friend in that regard… Not for me at least… It'd be the person I've known since I was a baby versus the guy that I _think_ I'm in love with… I'd have to be pretty darn sure I want him to stick around first…" 

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking too…" I swallow, hugging my knees a little tighter, "But… Well, I knew where _he_ lived, and I was over there often enough, I guess," I bite my lip, trying to psych myself up for the confession to come. I watch as Genma takes another sip of coffee, he looks to be patiently waiting, something I'm _very_ grateful for, "One time… It got a little late, and we were… Well, you know," I flash an embarrassed smile, not wanting to actually say anything out loud. Genma cocks his head, looking a little questioning, but I disregard it for now. If he needs me to be more… _Transparent_ about it, I will explain later. Even though I'm _really_ hoping I won't have to, "So… This one time… I like, stayed the night?" I peek at Genma through my eyelashes, cheeks burning. 

Leaning back, the older man smirks at me, "That's embarrassing to you? I don't really see why, but okay." 

I swallow hard, barely whispering, "It's normal for you…?" 

"No, but I don't really see the embarrassing part to be honest. If you _want_ to sleep with him, and he wants the same, why the hell not? Right? You're an adult, the best part about that is being allowed to make your own decisions," Chuckling lightly, he raises his mug back up to his lips, taking another sip. 

"Right…" I swallow again, trying to get to the end of this account before Genma makes me fall even deeper in love with him and I can't even _say_ it anymore, "So… The next morning, he found a letter on his doormat. Which is weird, because well, there's no post on Sunday's right? So he brings it in, and he opens it at the table where I'm drinking my coffee," I unconsciously take another sip at the mention of the liquid in my mug before setting the mug aside again, refocusing on my tale, "And he pulls out this photograph… It's a picture of us, right before we entered his apartment the day before. We were…" I can't help but pull a little face, no matter what Genma says about it, it's still a little embarrassing to talk about, _especially_ with _Genma_ , "Kissing. Someone had written across the picture and…" I swallow, tears stinging in my eyes as I remember the words, boldly written in black marker. 

Genma's arms are leaning on his knees, hands wrapped around his mug. His face is serious but his tone warm, "What did they write?" 

A small sigh escapes me, and I rub in my eyes – but then I realize that now he must know I'm all but crying and I throw Genma an embarrassed look. That's when I catch the glimmer of tears in his eyes. I swallow, clear my throat, but I can't speak any louder than a whisper as I repeat the words that have been haunting me ever since that day, "Filthy faggots I hope you die…" I bite my lip, "There were about a dozen exclamation marks after that, and they underlined it like three times… Guess someone _really_ wanted to get the message across…" My tone has turned sarcastic in an attempt to deal with the pain those words still inflict on me to this day, and I can't help but drop my forehead on my knees and cry softly. I know I'm probably overreacting, I know I'm acting like a little kid, I know – 

"Hey, it´s okay. I´m not going to let anything like that happen to you again, Iruka," Genma's arms softly wrap around me, and he sort of leans on the edge of the couch beside me. It must be a very awkward position for him, even in my current state I realize that, but he doesn't let on that he's uncomfortable in any way. Gently hugging me, he keeps whispering soothing words. I feel increasingly awkward about this entire situation, more so because I don't want to be the crybaby and I don't want Genma to have to be uncomfortable because of me, but I just can't seem to be able to stop crying… 

Lips caress my cheek for the briefest of seconds before he tucks my head under his chin, holding me close to his own body. Slowly, ever so slowly, my awkwardness over crying in front of Genma begins to change into awkwardness over the close proximity. Not that I don't want to, or that I'm not loving this, but… Wasn't this supposed to be our first date? We hardly know each other, only know the other is interested, if only a little. I don't think I've _ever_ had this much physical contact on a first date before. 

Eventually, I decide I can't take this. It feels weird to me to be touching so much when I hardly even _know_ him. Pulling back a little, I wonder if he'll even let me go though, it doesn't really seem like it… But then he does, slowly retreating his arms Genma gives my shoulder one last gentle squeeze before sliding off the outer edge of the couch. For a second, he stands there, seemingly undecided. But then he reaches for his coffee, grabbing the mug before sitting down on the other side of the couch, just beyond where my feet are. He turns his body so he too, is sitting on the couch sideways, his knee resting against the back of the couch. 

Almost cradling the mug in his hands, Genma cocks his head, a small smile on his face, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, Iruka." 

"You didn't, not really," Smiling back, I reach for my own coffee, "I'm just… Not really used to touching people so much on a first date…" 

"Hmm… I get that, but I wasn't just gonna watch you cry, you know. And it's not like I don't understand how much it hurts. I may have been lucky, but that doesn't mean that I've never heard or even _seen_ what total assholes people can be…" 

"Yeah…" Instinctively, I dry my cheeks with my sleeve, freezing in place as I suddenly realize what a childish gesture that actually is. Well, I'm a schoolteacher after all. I spend most of my time around children, childish is to be expected, I guess. Still, _not_ something I want to be showing him right now. Gosh, this is embarrassing. First, I snap at him for no good reason. Then I act all insecure, almost forcing him to play along and be super nice to me. After that, I start _crying,_ for goodness' sake. And now I'm acting like a little kid. Genma must be _so_ disappointed by now… Well, at least he's proven what an amazing guy he is at this point, he's still _here,_ isn't he? But I'm sure I basically wrecked my chances now… I sigh. 

"What's wrong Iruka?" 

Genma seems concerned, and I reevaluate my current position. I'm sure he doesn't even see me as a potential date anymore, probably more like a responsibility at this point. After all, this is Genma Shiranui! He can do so much better… 

"Iruka…? Hey, come on, don't pull back _now_ of all times…" There is a little whine in his voice, a slight frown on his brow as he chews the senbon in his mouth mercilessly. 

A chuckle escapes me, "What does your dentist have to say about that senbon of yours anyway?" 

"Huh?" Clearly confused, he plucks the metal out from betwixt his teeth, regarding it with a curious look, "Oh… _That_ … Yeah, he's not too fond of it," Smirking, Genma places the senbon back between his lips, "But it's a nervous habit, I guess. I feel kind of naked without that thing…" 

"Why?" I can't help it, I'm intrigued, "I mean, how did you even come up with the idea to stick a sharp object in your mouth and walk around with it?" 

He chuckles, gently nudging one of my knees, "Schoolteacher…" But then his tone turns a little contemplative, "I honestly don't remember why I started doing that… It's been so many years… I remember wanting to learn how to spit it out – wow… That sounded gross…" Blinking, he chuckles again, "But no, I saw this other guy do it, and I wanted to learn. So I was practicing all the time and… I guess eventually I started to forget to put the senbon back into the box in my pocket…" He chuckles again, winking at me, "So… Changing the subject, huh? I'm cool with that, but I just wanna say one more thing, okay?" His tone is serious once more, and I nod a little apprehensively. As Genma leans over a little, dark eyes search for my own, his expression immensely serious, but kind and warm as well, his tone soft, "You seem to believe that, on some level, you deserve that kind of shit talk. But you don't. Hating someone just because of this tiny portion of who they are is disgusting and wrong. Iruka, you're an amazing guy, and I've always had the utmost respect for you. You do the job that everyone in this entire village depends on. We've all noticed it, the students coming from Iruka- _sensei_ 's class," He winks, a small, amused smile on his face, "Are way ahead of their comrades in the same age group in terms of knowledge and understanding of the shinobi lifestyle. We can only do _our_ job because we can trust _you_ to work your incredible magic. Whatever this guy thinks about you, he's pretty darn lonely in his assumptions. Don't let one person's idiotic notions ruin your life, Iruka. You don't deserve that. And –" He blinks, I can see it even though my vision's gone blurry once again. I can see him swallow as well, his tone a little anxiously surprised, "Why the hell are you crying again?!" 

Through my tears, a chuckle forces its way out, and I wipe at my eyes with the palm of my hand, "Because – because no-one's ever said something like that before… My students are great, but – but – but –" I can't go on, my body shaking with sobs. But they're happy tears, they symbolize the realization that I'm not _just_ the schoolteacher – I have value in the eyes of the others as well. In Genma's eyes at least, I don't really want to think about the other guys right now. I don't want to start doubting his words when Genma said they'd all noticed the difference between my students and the students of the other sensei. I know that if I think about it, I will. 

"For real…?" He looks surprised, setting his coffee aside and laying one hand on my knee, "I thought for sure that at least _someone_ would've told you that by now… You seriously never heard? Darn… They're all vying to get their gennin from you, and no-one's ever said a word… Bunch of jerks." 

I chuckle again, a big smile on my face, "They're not jerks… I just hardly ever interact with the jounin sensei… I used to talk to Kakashi occasionally, but ever since I took this job… I only see them when there's a meeting, and I usually disagree with the prevailing opinions, so I figured that by now none of them were too fond of me…" 

Cocking his head, Genma chuckles lightly, "They complain… And then go on to say that at least you still care about your old students, and how they wish they'd had a teacher like that way back in the day… Well, except for Kakashi, but he got the fourth Hokage as his sensei, so everyone's a little jealous of him." 

Smiling back, I realize that for the first time in ages, I'm completely relaxed. I have Genma to thank for that, I know I do. I can't remember the last time I sat in my own apartment and wasn't checking the windows every couple of minutes to ensure if the curtains were still closed all the way. I can't remember the last time I felt this safe. I can't remember the last time I _ate_ … My stomach growls a little, and I chuckle nervously, "Eh…" 

"Yes!" Getting up, he extends his hand, "I promised you dinner at seven, didn't I? Where's the clock…?" Looking around for a second, Genma gasps, "No wonder we're getting hungry… It's almost eight!" 

I swallow, feeling very guilty all of the sudden, "Oh gosh… I delayed everything, I'm so, _so_ sorry. I shouldn't have –" 

"Iruka, relax." 

Smiling at me, Genma wiggles his extended hand a little, trying to convince me to take it. Taking a deep breath, I grab his hand, letting my feet slide off the couch. The moment they touch the floor, Genma pulls me up effortlessly. Gasping, I try to find my balance, but Genma's hands on my arms stabilize me instantly. I can feel another blush creep up, I cannot _believe_ how much I'm blushing today! Usually, it's actually pretty hard to faze me. Especially when it comes to dating – I guess I'm just not easily impressed. Or maybe I was never really impressed because none of those guys even came _close_ to resembling Genma Shiranui. If the looks kind of matched, the personality was hopeless. If the personality was acceptable, there would be something else off. Really… I was looking for a clone of this guy because I thought that _this_ situation would never, _ever_ come to pass. 

I worry the inside of my lip, hesitantly breaking free of Genma's hold on me while looking away, "Did you… Eh… Make reservations or something…?" 

He chuckles, "Yeah, but that's okay. I mentioned my best friend that I've known since I was a baby, right? His family owns a restaurant, I basically grew up there. I'm sure they won't mind us being a little late," Winking, he gently pushes me towards the door. 

His hand on my back feels amazing, and I don't want him to let go, but at the same time… I kind of don't know if I should be letting him do this. Wouldn't it make me come off as 'easy'? I mean, I _did_ basically tell him I slept with at least _one_ man I wasn't too serious about. What the hell is he going to assume about me? Didn't he say that the best part of being an adult is making your own choices? What if he thinks I choose to sleep with every guy I can get my hands on? That would be bad. Very, _very_ bad. Because I don't. Actually, that one guy was the exception to the rule… 

Swallowing, I shrug his hand off, reaching out to grab my flack vest. For a moment, I'm worried that Genma will be offended, but he only smiles again. Gosh, I love that smile…


	4. Chapter 4

_**Author's Note:**_ Finally… Date-time! And cuteness ;) I couldn't resist… ^.^ 

I bow down in gratitude, for my amazing Beta: _Marina._ You are beyond amazing, beyond wonderful and beyond every other synonym I could ever come up with.

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ I do not own any of these characters, Kishimoto does. I only own my own creativity and _just a little courage.  
_

))O((

Just A Little Courage

))O((

The walk over to the restaurant is calm and comfortable. We chat a little, nothing too serious, but neither of us mentions the weather at all. I almost chuckle as I remember Genma's earlier words. So he hates first date chit-chat, eh? Too bad really, I'm rather good at it. I've had some practice after all. Usually, first date is all that happens because the guy is either not interesting enough, or too pushy. I _hate_ pushy guys. Genma, on the other hand, proves to be calm and confident. And a little touchy. As in, he keeps touching me. Usually, I hate that. But somehow, tonight, with Genma, I don't mind. I think I might actually like it. A little. 

Suddenly, Genma stops walking, turning so he's basically standing right in front of me, "Okay, wait… I have a confession to make," Again I hear that strange sound that indicates he's chewing on that ridiculously oversized toothpick of his. I inwardly cringe at the thought of what that habit must be doing to his teeth, but Genma doesn't seem to notice. 

"I was _so_ happy when you opened the door and you weren't wearing civilians. Because the honest truth is… I don't actually own any anymore…" 

I watch him swallow, looking rather nervous. The corners of my mouth twitch, a chuckle pushes past my lips, and before I know it, I double over laughing. Clutching at my stomach, I do my best to calm down, thinking that this comes off as _really_ insensitive. But as I look up, I find out that Genma's also chuckling. 

"Yeah, I know… I'm a little on the odd side," He winks at me. 

Straightening my face in a mock-serious look, I extend my hand, "Hello, my name is Odd Person Number Two. I don't own anything other than uniforms either, pleasure to meet you." 

His smirk widens into a grin, and he grabs my hand, "Good to meet you." 

For a few moments, we simply stand there, holding on to each other´s hands. Blinking, I realize that his thumb is tracing little circles on the back of my hand, and I find my gaze drawn toward the small action. Just as I'm about to say something, a voice sounds from behind Genma – a _female_ voice. 

"Genma Shiranui! What the hell do you think you're doing? Have you gone absolutely barmy? You're basically _starving_ the poor lad!" 

He quickly lets go of my hand, turning on his heels with a bewildered expression on his face, "Kame! I-I didn't notice you there… I, eh…" 

As Genma takes a small step back, I peek over his shoulder. The woman he's talking to is old enough to be his mother, a little chubby, but with a warm and caring demeanor. Except for the fact that she's glaring at my date with her hands on her hips, a large wooden spoon in one of her hands. I immediately understand that this is a woman to be handled with care, lest she might go off like a bomb. 

"Genma! Don't just _stand_ there," She sighs dramatically, her free hand waving in my general direction, "How on earth are you going to impress the lad if you stand there _stuttering_?!" 

Genma turns back to me, visibly swallowing before he whispers, "Please don't listen to her too much, okay? She's just like a second mom, you know? Only Kame's about twice as embarrassing…" 

" _Really_ now?" I whisper back, "She sounds like _tons_ of fun," I smirk, giving the man a naughty wink. 

His already slightly pink cheeks flush even more, and he just stares at me for a few seconds – before getting interrupted by the woman once more. 

"Well? Are you coming in or what? Honestly boy, you're such a _creaton_!" Sighing, she spins on her heels, heading back into the small restaurant that apparently is our destination. 

Genma rubs the back of his head, looking a little uncomfortable, "Please Iruka… Could we maybe forget that ever happened?" 

I'm beaming up at him, unable to control myself, "Nope. That was _way_ too cute to forget about." 

Smiling, he agrees, "Yeah… She's pretty sweet…" 

"Hmm…" Wiggling on the balls of my feet, I grin, "I actually meant that _you_ were too cute to just forget about," Winking at him, I calmly move toward the entrance of the restaurant, only turning back as I've almost reached the door, "Are you coming or what?" 

Genma smirks at the chuckle in my voice, shaking his head a little before hurrying to join me. Maybe he feels the need to prove that he's no creaton, maybe it's something else, but Genma actually holds the door for me. I smile a little, _no-one's_ ever held the door for me like that. He bows slightly as I walk past him, quickly closing the door before moving to walk beside me. In the back of the small, intimate restaurant, a young girl wearing an apron over a simple black dress looks up. Smiling wide, she runs over. 

"Genma!" Jumping up, she all but forces him to catch her, hugging him tight the second he does so. The girl can't be more than seven or eight years old, her black hair done up in two Chinese styled buns. 

Smiling a little awkwardly, Genma looks at me, "This is Kaede. She's Kame's granddaughter… I probably should've warned you about her, huh?"

I chuckle as big, brown eyes suddenly turn towards me, "No, that's fine…" 

"Who're you?" She blinks, but then seems to realize something, quickly working her way back to the floor, she bows in apology, "You're Genma's date, aren't you? I'm sorry… I shouldn't have interrupted…" 

Smiling, I crouch so my eyes are level with hers. Extending my hand, I wait for her to take it, "My name's Iruka. And I really don't mind, Kaede." 

She smiles brightly, nodding happily as she pulls her hand back. Turning to Genma, suddenly the girl looks like a pro, calmly informing us that our table is ready, asking if we would please follow her. A little surprised, I look up at Genma, but he only shrugs, motioning for me to go first. The paths between the tables are rather narrow, so we have to walk behind each other. There are only a few other customers, the calm conversations around us sound like a light buzz. Kaede leads us to a booth, excusing herself to go get the menu's. 

Sitting down, I throw Genma another questioning look, whispering as I lean over, "Why is there a little kid running service?" 

He shrugs again, "Because she likes it. She wants nothing more than to take over the restaurant when she grows up, so Kame decided she should get a feel of what it's like. Every Saturday, Kaede works from lunch to around when she has to go to bed. And she loves it. Guess it can't hurt that she's playing host one day a week, right?" 

A little relieved, I lean back into the cushions, "So it's not a full-time thing, then." 

Chuckling, he shakes his head a little, "She goes to school, plays with her friends. Besides, I used to work here on Saturdays too. Together with Nobu. He and his wife both said they don't want to take over the place after Kame retires, but Kaede's all over it. So the old lady decided to keep going for a little while longer, giving her granddaughter the chance to see if she really wants to run the place, and eventually ease her into ownership. I think it's pretty amazing to be honest." 

"Yeah… I guess you're right about that…" 

The girls returns, and I can´t help but smile at her as she hands us each a menu, stating she will be back in a few minutes to take our order. We both turn our attention to the menu in our hands, but I can't help but keep stealing glances at Genma every couple of seconds. I still can't believe I'm here with him, I still can't believe he's _willingly_ going out with me. Call me slow, but Genma really could do so much better. Even _if_ he seems to think I deserve to be proud of what I do – you only need to _look_ at him to know that he could easily do better. 

Eventually though, he puts the menu down. I've thankfully somehow managed to make my choice as well, and as I place my own menu back on the table, I can't help but smile back at him. Genma's smile is contagious, not to mention mesmerizing. 

"So…" There is a smile in his voice, "Like I said, I'm not too good with first date chit-chat, so I don't really know what to say now…" 

I chuckle lightly as he clearly chews on his senbon again. Genma seems even more nervous than _I_ am! Cocking my head, I nod at him, "Why did you ever want to practice senbon? They're not exactly known as a specialty tool…" 

Smirking, he takes the piece of metal from between his lips, studying it thoughtfully for a moment like he did back in my apartment, "I'm not sure, actually… When I was in the Academy, my parents bought me my first kunai set. And I proceeded to lose them all…" 

I can't help but chuckle, "Don't we all?" 

"Possibly… _Probably_ ," Genma chuckles, "Only I lost mine while trying to play a prank on the sensei. My parents didn't take that very well, so I didn't get another set. And my allowance wasn't exactly high enough to go buy new ones myself. I always had to borrow kunai from my friends when we had to practice – this was back when the Academy didn't provide practice equipment like that. I dare say I am one of the many reasons why they changed their rules regarding that little fact," Chuckling again, he puts the senbon back between his lips, "Anyway, this one day… No-one wanted to give me any kunai to borrow. Sensei'd said that whoever got the most kunai in the practice dummy would get the rest of the day off, so…" 

Shrugging, he turns to Kaede. The girl must've been standing there for a little while, but I honestly hadn't noticed her. I was too preoccupied with Genma, and his voice, and his easy chuckles and – well, with _Genma._ We quickly give our order, and I turn back to my date. I want to know how the rest of the story goes, although by now I think I can guess. 

Genma winks at me, "Sensei also said that anyone who _didn't_ manage to hit the target at least once, would be spending the weekend training with him. Now, I _really_ didn't like my Academy sensei very much, in case you couldn't tell. And I'm pretty sure the feeling was mutual. So him threatening with what was basically detention didn't sit too well with me. But then I realized something, annoying little nine year old brat that I was," Genma chuckles again, picking up his glass of water that the girl had set down for the both of us, "Sensei had said that you only got detention if you didn't _hit_ the target. Nothing about kunai in that sentence. Of course, I wasn't stupid enough to run up and literally hit the thing, I thought about it though…" A slightly embarrassed look drifts my way, "But then, my classmates would've probably _loved_ the idea of 'real' target practice. My ongoing feud with sensei was kind of a bother to everyone. So I just stood there watching for a little while. All my classmates had tied various things to their kunai so they would be recognizable as 'theirs'. And I didn't have any kunai _or_ something to tie to it. But I _did_ have a bundle of senbon. They were on sale the day my dad had bought me the kunai set, and I'd sort of convinced him to buy them for me. I had a dozen of them, so I figured if even _one_ of them would hit the target, I could argue that I'd _hit_ the bloody thing, and I wouldn't have to explain to my parents why I got detention _again._ Around this time, most of my classmates had thrown all the kunai they owned at the dummy, and the crowd was thinning out a little. So I stepped up, and I started throwing the senbon. Eleven of them hit, number twelve was knocked off course by a stray kunai. At the end of the practice, sensei walked up to the dummy, and the highest number of kunai from one person was eight. My eleven senbon way outranked that. Of course, sensei still argued that he'd said _kunai_ , but in the end, at least I didn't get detention," A bright smile creeps over Genma's face as he continues, "Ever since that day, I kinda liked those little things. They got me out of trouble once, and I figured it was only a matter of time before they'd do it again. All I had to do was practice. In the end, I think sensei won though…" For a moment, Genma looks thoughtful, "Senbon take more practice than kunai, so I didn't have as much time for pranks, or annoying him in other ways. I was always practicing in my head, break time was reserved for physical practice, so was my free time after school. But till the day he died, sensei looked down on the boy with the prissy little senbon," Another shrug, " He was the kind of guy that believed wholeheartedly that kunoichi are a waste of space and that shinobi have to be tough guys all of the time. He even predicted that my 'prissy little senbon' were gonna turn me gay one day," A chuckle, "They didn't _turn_ me gay, but… I _am_ ," Genma winks at me, a smirk on his face. 

I find myself chuckling again, somehow he manages to put me at ease without even seeming to _try_. I think I might be falling for him more and more by the second, "Well, good for me. Otherwise this whole thing would be kind of awkward, no?" 

"I think so… After all, _you_ were the one that kissed _me_ ," He winks again, before suddenly turning serious, "Iruka, tell me something… Who told you? I honestly don't really care, most of the guys know, but… We don't exactly run in the same circles much. Frankly I was surprised you even knew who I _am_ …" 

Oh dear heavens, how could I possibly _not_ know who he is? He's _Genma Shiranui_ , one of the hottest – if not _the_ hottest guy in town! But as for how I knew he's gay… "Truthfully, I didn't. I guess I was kind of hoping you were drunk enough to pass it off in case my instincts were wrong after all." 

"Ah… But I'm _never_ actually drunk, Iruka. I'll have a beer every now and then, maybe something stronger another time, but my job is such that I have to be able to think clearly twenty-four-seven. Same goes for Raidou and Iwashi. Although to be honest, I think the latter bends the rules a little every now and then," Slightly pursing his lips, Genma looks a little disapproving for a moment. 

Surprised, I blink, "It's literally in the rules? That you can't drink, I mean?" 

"There's a clause about us being available at every possible hour. It's not stated outright, but it basically says just that, yes," A warm smile creeps over his face, and I can feel my cheeks heating up a little, Genma is just _too_ amazing… "It's not that I mind, though. I never was much of a drinker to begin with. You?" 

"Eh? If I drink, you mean?" I'm a little caught off guard by his sudden question. Too lost in thoughts about his smile, his eyes, his – wait, the question. I smile back at him, "Hardly. I don't like the feeling very much. I don't like feeling hazy and sluggish. I used to go out drinking with a couple of my friends almost every weekend, but… Well, after some jerk decided I was to never feel safe again, I stopped going. I don't really miss it much, to be honest. For the most part it was the company, old Academy buddies and the likes. But after I stopped going out with them I started to realize that I'd never really gotten along with most of them to start with, so," I shrug, "The couple of friends that I _do_ have aren't really the sort to go out drinking anyway. Mostly we just go out for dinner, catch up a little. Not too often though, because we only really get together when everyone's home, so… Every three months or so? Actually, that's where I came from last night. I was on my way home, quickest route is through that street." 

Genma smiles at me, before looking up at the man bringing us our food, "Eiji, thanks. I take it Kaede went to bed, then?" 

The elderly man nods as he places our food in front of us, "She was supposed to be in bed before you even got here, Genma. She pleaded with Kame to let her stay until you arrived. You should really know better than to let girls miss out on their beauty sleep, son," Flashing a quick wink at Genma, Eiji bows politely before retreating again. 

Once more there's an embarrassed look on Genma's face, his tone soft, "Well… And now you met both my second mother and my second father before you ever even heard a word about the original ones," Chuckling, he shakes his head a little, "But first things first, Iruka. I get that the bar district is a shortcut, but why did you walk into that bar last night? Why did you come looking for me out of the blue?"


	5. Chapter 5

_**Author's Note:**_ And… Cheesiness ensues xD People who know me should've been waiting for this to happen xD  
Oh, just in case you didn't realize this: Hot sauce + sugar equals _super_ hot sauce xD 

I bow down in gratitude, for my amazing Beta: _Marina._ You are beyond amazing, beyond wonderful and beyond every other synonym I could ever come up with.

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ I do not own any of these characters, Kishimoto does. I only own my own creativity and _just a little courage.  
_

))O((

Just A Little Courage

))O((

"I-I-I don't know…" I listen to my own voice in utter disgust, why the hell do I sound like I'm _whining_?! This is bad, this is so incredibly bad! Quick, I have to salvage this! Think of something! Oh boy, think of someth – 

" _Right_ …" Genma chuckles, "I've never before seen anyone move through that place _that_ determined, but okay. If you don't want to say…" 

"No! No, that's not it! I swear!" Swallowing, I do my best to reassure him, even though I honestly don't know what to tell him. I went in there in a state of almost-desperation, can't very well tell Genma that last night was an all-or-nothing kind of thing… 

Another light chuckle erupts from my date, "You don't have to get all worked up over it, Iruka. I was only being curious…" 

"I know…" My voice comes out small, and Genma is forced to lean over to hear me. Not that I mind him being closer or anything, "It's just… I kind of… _Forced_ myself, you know?" There is but a little hope on my face, but Genma doesn't seem to understand, compelling me to explain further, "I've been… I've basically been putting it off for years," I whisper, "But last night, I decided no more. So…" 

"So you came to see me, and consequently kiss me," He finishes, a smile in his voice. Then, surprised, " _Years_ , Iruka?" 

"Yeah…" I flash an embarrassed little smile, "Years. But I didn't want to chicken out any longer, so I walked into the most disgusting place I've ever been, got too embarrassed to speak up, fled the scene and then finally managed to catch you off guard…" 

Genma raises one eyebrow, "Most disgusting place you've ever been? It's just a _bar_ , Iruka. And a pretty clean one at that…" 

"I know. I just don't like bars. I don't like huge crowds in small places and… Well," Another embarrassed smile on my part, "A table filled with jounin and tokubetsu is more than a little intimidating…" 

Shaking his head, Genma takes a bite of his food, still smiling as he finally speaks up again, "I already told you though, those guys respect the hell out of you. Everyone was disappointed when you didn't return. Most of them would love the chance to get to know you a little better, you know that?" 

I can't help but pull a little face, hiding behind my own food, "I'll just take your word for it…" 

"You should, it's the truth after all," A reassuring smile drifts my way, "Alright. Different topic, because this is getting us nowhere… Hmmm… I know! How were _you_ back in the Academy? I'd sort of think you were the teacher's pet, but by now I think you might be a bit too cheeky for that..." 

"Eh…" Pulling a face, I quickly hide behind my water, " _Not_ the teacher's pet, I can tell you _that_ much…" Chuckling, I put the glass back down, "More like the opposite, actually… I was the class clown, doing anything and everything for laughs. Looking back, I did some pretty stupid and dangerous stuff…" I add a little thoughtfully, "I was just trying to get attention, though. I was all alone, so…" Shrugging a little uncomfortably, I push those thoughts away, "But I _do_ remember this one time…" Smiling a little, I draw it out, taking a sip of water before continuing, "I'd gotten in trouble for something or another – I don't really remember. Probably something dangerous though, looking back. Usually sensei wouldn't pay too much attention to my antics, so it was most likely that he'd gotten a fright. Anyway, I _do_ remember, quite clearly, that I thought the detention was undeserved. So, the next day, I show up with a little present for sensei. Back in the old days they used to bring the teacher an apple, right?" My smile turns a little cheeky, and Genma chuckles lightly. 

"What did you do to the poor apple, Iruka?" 

"Hmm… I guess it's not so much what I did to the apple, as what I did to my sensei. You see…" I chuckle, unable to ignore the memory of the look on sensei's face, "I took this huge syringe – no idea where I got it, but whatever. Spent my last money on a big bottle of hot sauce, and I just… _Inserted_ it." 

Across from me, Genma laughs out loud, but I have one more thing to add, "I'd covered the thing in icing, and then pure sugar. Claiming that it was my promise to be 'sweet' from now on. Sensei never did like spicy food…" 

Apparently my choice for a story was a good one, because my date is wiping away tears, panting a little as he tries to catch his breath, "Oh god, so you damn near poisoned your sensei? What kind of a sweet boy does that?" 

Grinning, I beam up at him, "The one that has a little spice in him." 

For a moment, Genma's face shows clear amusement, coupled with indecision, but then he apparently comes to a decision. A smirk on his face and a hesitant smile in his voice, "I'm not the biggest fan of spicy food myself, do I dare taste?" 

Leaning over a little, I rest my elbows on the table, my chin in my hands, "I don't know… Got a reckless streak there? Or are you afraid to get burned?" 

Mirroring my pose, Genma leans closer, whispering, "Oh I don't mind getting burned, Iruka. If the prize is worth it in the end." 

My smile carries in my voice, "How would you know in advance if it's worth it?" 

"I use my eyes," Winking, Genma leans a little closer still. 

"Oh?" A little taken aback, I lean back a little, "What are your eyes telling you right now?" 

Leaning even closer, Genma closes the distance that I created, whispering, "That you're definitely worth the risk of getting burned," A little further he leans, until his lips brush past mine ever so softly, before Genma retreats once more. 

I find myself blinking, wondering if that really just happened. Maybe it was all a dream. Maybe I never walked into that bar after all. But I _did_ , didn't I? And I secured myself a date with Genma Shiranui. And just now… He kissed me. He used the most cheesy lines that I've _ever_ heard, and he _kissed_ me. Oh boy, I'm falling _so_ hard right now… "You know…" I manage to keep a teasing tone in my voice, but actually I'm being quite serious, "You're kind of dangerous yourself there. Who's to say _I_ like getting burned…?" 

"You won't," His tone is self-assured, confident. _Definitive._

Swallowing, I hide behind another sip of water, suddenly the food – however lovely it may be – is a little too much for me. _Genma_ is a little too much for me… 

"I already told you, Iruka. Protection is what I do best. To me, that includes protecting you from getting hurt by carelessness on my part." 

My cheeks have been heating up steadily for a while now, but all of the sudden they're full-on burning. Swallowing, I look away for a second, trying to contain myself. I might seriously throw myself at him if Genma says one more amazing thing like that. I probably would just offer him everything if only he would keep saying things like that. Never before has _anyone_ said things like that to me. I can't remember the last time I felt so safe. I can't even _deal_ with this anymore! Taking a deep breath, I allow my gaze to return to his face. Genma is smiling a little, his chin resting on his fists, elbows leaning on the table once more. An embarrassed smile plays around my lips, and my voice is a mere whisper, "Would that include carelessly making me fall in love with you?"


	6. Chapter 6

_**Author's Note:**_ I sincerely apologize for the long silence. Both me and Beta have gotten a little preoccupied with this strange new thing called ´life´ lately. We will do our best for you though ^,^ 

I bow down in gratitude, for my amazing Beta: _Marina._ You are beyond amazing, beyond wonderful and beyond every other synonym I could ever come up with.

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ I do not own any of these characters, Kishimoto does. I only own my own creativity and _just a little courage.  
_

))O((

Just A Little Courage

))O((

Genma smiles at me, a warm smile, reassuring, "It's not careless, Iruka. I would like very much for you to fall in love with me. It would even things out a little because right now, you're carelessly making _me_ fall in love with _you_." 

Stunned, I blink. Taking another bite of my food, just to stall for time, I study Genma through my eyelashes. He seems relaxed, but at the same time I can tell Genma is a little anxious. Just like me. I can't help it, I smile wide, "Who says that's careless? I already told you Genma, _years."_

"Ah, yes," His smile widens a little, "You _did_ tell me that... I'm still not entirely sure how you even knew who I _was_ years ago, but I guess that doesn't matter as much. What _does_ kind of matter to me is this; Why _me_? How on earth did I manage to catch your eye _years_ ago?" 

I was just about to take a sip, almost choking on the water, I cough. Genma's expression is a little amused, and he cocks his head slightly as he waits for me to answer him. Taking a deep breath, I decide we've already gotten passed 'embarrassing' anyway, so I may as well tell him. One more deep breath, and I speak up, very softly, "I really like going to the onsen. And I try to go at least once a month, just to relax a little. Well, not so much anymore, but back then I did. Anyway... I remember I was just sitting there, and it was really quiet. I was totally relaxed and pretty happy, and then this small group came into the dressing room. Joking and laughing and just generally being very loud. And I remember thinking that I wanted them to just stop, because I was getting all zen and I didn't really feel like letting that go, so... But then they came in, and they were all shinobi - and they _all_ outranked me. I was pretty sure of that, because I recognized a couple of them, and the rest was easily extrapolated. And they were still goofing off a little, not taking themselves too serious. I guess... I kinda liked watching that, so I hid behind this big rock a little to the side of the bath. I didn't want to interrupt them and I kind of... I just had an awful week at work and some personal stuff that went wrong, and they cheered me up a little, you know? After a while though, they calmed down somewhat. And more people came into the bath as well. I was pretty much getting cooked at that point, so I decided it was about time to leave. I don't think anyone noticed that they hadn't seen me come in, and I left quietly," I take a small sip of water, before continuing, "A couple days later, I noticed two of the guys I'd seen at the onsen. The one that I thought was really hot, and one that was apparently pretty close to him. They were carrying some boxes, but when they passed a small group of children, they paused for a moment. One of the kids had accidentally kicked their ball onto a roof, and the guy that I was kind of having a tiny little crush on immediately jumped up to get it. They played with the kids for a little while, before going about their business once more. Those kids were in my class, so the next day, I asked them if they knew who those men were. They said that the one with the scar had told them his name was Raidou, and the one with the senbon said his name was Genma," A little embarrassed smile plays across my lips as I shoot a glance in his direction. There is a bit of a thoughtful look on Genma's face, almost as if he's trying to remember that day, "I've been keeping an eye out for you ever since that day. And every time I saw you, you were either doing something really sweet, or somehow proving what a great shinobi you are. But I'd realized pretty soon that you not only outranked me, but also basically all-around outclassed me. So I was too anxious to go up and talk to you. Instead watching from a little distance. For years now, I've been watching from a little distance..." I'm looking down at my plate, too anxious to look up at him, but Genma's tone is warm, soft, his hand reaching out and gently touching my own. 

"I kind of wish you hadn't, Iruka. There's no way I would ever brush someone off based on something so unimportant as their _rank_ , you know. And besides, I can't help but regret the time that was wasted because I seemed so unapproachable to you..." 

Again, I have to swallow. Every time this man opens his mouth, stuff comes out that makes me feel like I'm floating on clouds. Every time this man looks at me, I feel as if I'm _worth_ looking at. Every time this man touches me, my skin burns and I get goose bumps, "Well, I kind of managed to approach you after all..." Sneaking a glance up, I smirk, "Granted, I kind of left it up to you to follow me, but still..." 

Genma smiles at me, a warm smile, "I'm really glad that I did. I'm really glad that _you_ did as well. I'm incredibly happy that you're here with me right now, Iruka. I honestly am," Is that a glimmer of tears I catch in his right eye? Is that chewing on his lip a nervous gesture? His hand twitching just above the senbon on the table, is that a sign? Maybe. Possibly. _Probably._

Reaching out, I place my hand over his, stilling the nervously twitching fingers. Genma's hand is warm under my left hand, warm over my right hand. I watch him swallow before our eyes lock onto each other. His deep, dark eyes draw me in, like they did back at that bar. Was that only yesterday? It almost seems like a lifetime ago. His eyes are brown, but there are little golden flecks that I'd never even noticed before. I can tell that his irises widen a little, I can almost _feel_ my own doing the same thing. Genma's stopped chewing on his lip, his expression calm but there's something else that I can't quite put my finger on. If he's feeling anything like me, I'm probably seeing a sense of wonder, a touch of excitement and a little embarrassment, mixed in with just a hint of something I'd really rather not name. Alright then... _Lust._

"Boys...?" There is amusement in the woman's voice, and she chuckles as we both look up, both utterly startled. Kame shakes her head a little, a warm smile on her face, "You know I'm not one to send you away Genni, but it's way passed eleven by now, and you know we close at ten..." 

There is but a little whine in her voice at her last statement, but I barely register the words. Almost choking on my chuckles before I can finally manage a single word, " _Genni?!_ " 

His eyes drift over to me, an embarrassed look on the man's face, "She's known me since I was a little baby, okay? Mothers do horrible things to little children, and they never let them forget about it..." Pouting a little, Genma reaches for the senbon, places it back between his lips before looking up at the motherly figure. His tone has changed from embarrassed to apologetic, "I'm sorry Kame... I honestly didn't notice the time..." 

"That much was clear," She chuckles again, "You two've been staring off into each other's eyes for nearly an hour... I _was_ just going to let you sit here until we were done cleaning up for the day, but we finished everything up almost half an hour ago, and I'm tired Genni. Go find some other old woman to keep up at night," And with that, she turns away again, leaving the both of us feeling thoroughly ashamed of ourselves. 

Swallowing, I peek at Genma through my eyelashes, a little unsure what to do now. Though we've both eaten most of the food on our plate, and the water is long gone, I don't really want to say goodbye yet. Actually, I might not want to say goodbye to him _ever.  
_

For a moment, Genma clearly hesitates. But then his expression turns to one of determination. As he leans over, he whispers, "Iruka, I'm really sorry about this. I honestly didn't realize how late it'd gotten, and now I seriously can't just leave them with more work. So... I'd love to walk you home, if that's what you want, but I have to at least clean this up. I'm sorry, you can go ahead if you want –" 

"I'm not going anywhere, you know," Reaching out, I stack our plates before lifting them off the table as I get up, "Lead the way, _Genni_ ," Unable to resist the little jab, I wink. 

Genma smirks, following my example and grabbing the glasses before he walks off in the direction of the kitchen. There is a slight bounce in his step, and I imagine there's a smile on his face as well. As he pushes the door to the kitchen open though, I momentarily forget all about Genma. Such is the sight I find myself presented with. Both Kame and Eiji are sitting on the wooden chairs that have been placed against the far wall. Clearly, the table and chairs have seen better days, and they once belonged in the restaurant. There's two cups of tea on the table, but they've obviously gone cold. The two people sitting across from each other barely awake. We did that to them, we made them stay up so late that they're completely exhausted now. Mentally kicking myself for being so thoughtless, I swallow hard. 

My date sets the glasses on the counter, turning to the elderly couple and crouching before them. His hands lay gently on their knees, and his voice is soft, "Hey… We're really sorry, guys. I honest to god didn't realize. But you can just go to bed now, okay? We're," He looks back at me for a second, and I nod, "We're gonna clean up here. Just give me the key to the back door, okay? You just go get some sleep. I'm really, terribly sorry about this…" 

"Oh, Genni…" Sighing softly, there is a warm smile on Kame's face. Looking up, her tired eyes find me, "I'm really sorry about this, lad…" 

"No," I shake my head, " _We're_ sorry. I honestly didn't realize. But we'll take care of everything, okay?" Smiling apologetically, I extend my hand to help her up. Kame looks at me with surprise on her face, but takes my hand nonetheless. She and Eiji wish us a good night, thank us once more, and turn for the door. But right before he follows his wife out, Eiji turns back to us one more time, looking straight at Genma. 

"You've found yourself a good one, son. Don't let him get away," Nodding a good-bye, Eiji leaves us alone in the restaurant kitchen. 

An embarrassed chuckle escapes me, and as I shoot a glance over at my date, it's impossible to miss Genma's red-hot cheeks. 

"Again… Could we just pretend that you never heard that?" Pulling a little face, Genma still manages to have just a _little_ hope on his face. 

I smirk, shaking my head a little, "Nope. I kinda like that apparently I'm 'a good one'. Makes me sound like a real catch," Chuckling, I reach for the plates, nearly dropping them as Genma's reply hits my ears. 

"You _are,_ don't let anyone ever tell you different." 

As I turn on my heels, I catch his thoughtful look, "Unless of course, they're trying to persuade you to ditch me and go out with someone else… In that case, pay them no mind, okay?" 

I can feel my jaw drop, and this time I really _do_ drop the plates. But Genma's quick, catching them before they clatter on the floor, a sheepish grin on his face, " _What?_ It's just how I feel…" 

"I… Eh… G-Genma…?" I swallow, blinking. Taking a deep breath, I try again, "Genma… What- what do you mean?" 

"What I mean?" He sounds a little surprised, turning away from me to place the plates in the sink, he all but mumbles, "What I mean is that I don't want you dating anyone else, thought _that_ was pretty obvious…" 

"Oh, yeah…" I suppress another chuckle, "I got _that_ … Just not the why, is all," The corners of my mouth are twitching as I lean my elbows on the counter, rest my chin in my hands, "Why don't you explain, Genma?" 

He frowns a little, clearly feeling about as insecure as I am right now. But I'm pretty confident that I at least _seem_ confident, which is all that really matters at this point. Thank heavens Genma can't feel how my heart is beating in my throat, can't hear how erratic that heart beat truly is… 

"Why? Why I don't want you to date anyone else?" I watch him swallow, half-turned away from me as he starts to work on the dishes, "I don't want you to date anyone else because I want you to date _me_. Because I really like you. Because I don't like the idea that you're having your cake and eating it too…" 

I work hard to hold back the chuckle at the slight pout in his tone, work even harder to control my unsteadily beating heart, trying to force its way out of my chest through my throat. I react the only way I really know how: By teasing, "Really now? And what, pray tell, would you do if I were to disagree with you?" 

He turns to me, suddenly completely serious as his dark eyes seemingly examine my face for a few long seconds. Seconds during which my heart seems to stop beating all together, and my lungs refuse to take in air. I swallow nervously, did I push it too far? Wouldn't be the first time. I _swear_ , if I lose him over this, I will never forgive myself. I _swear_ , if I lose Genma over this, I'm giving up for good. Maybe I'm just not cut out for being with someone. Maybe I'm just too mean. Really, he looks like he's about to cry here…


	7. Chapter 7

_**Author's Note:**_ Yes, it´s short. But it was either that, or not write this story the way I want to. I have a plan now, people. Oh yes, I do :) 

I bow down in gratitude, for my amazing Beta: _Marina._ You are beyond amazing, beyond wonderful and beyond every other synonym I could ever come up with. Even though… In this case, all mistakes are mine because my Beta didn't touch this chapter xD Life gets in the way sometimes, so sorry!

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ I do not own any of these characters, Kishimoto does. I only own my own creativity and _just a little courage.  
_

))O((

Just A Little Courage

))O((

"Iruka…" Genma's tone is soft, merely a whisper really, "I will never force you to do anything. I want that to be absolutely clear," He swallows again, taking a deep breath, "But know this: I'm completely serious about you, and I can't live with the uncertainty of the guy that I'm in love with wiggling back and forth between me and some other guy. Either you give me a real chance, or you let me go. That being said," He chuckles lightly, "You have to be the most excruciating tease I've ever met." 

"That, I am," I smile wide, walking around the counter to wrap my arms around him, "I'm a tease, I've got no problem admitting that. But I've also got no problem admitting that I'm just as serious as you are. So, if you think you can handle it, I'm all yours." 

A smirk appears on Genma's face, "Oh, I can handle it, Iruka. Trust me." 

Leaning down ever so slightly, Genma presses his lips against mine, his tongue almost immediately requesting entrance. Right now, I'm probably the happiest guy on earth. Have to be, Genma Shiranui is kissing me, and he wants to be with me, and he's kissing me – and oh _god,_ he's a great kisser! 

Pulling back just a little, Genma smiles against my lips, "The real question here is, can _you_ handle _me_?" Placing another soft kiss on my lips, he retreats, only to press his lips back against mine. Always pulling away _just_ before I've caught up to him. 

Chuckling, I capture his face with my hands, holding him still so I can kiss him all I want. His hands wander down to my back, pulling me tight against his own body as he allows me to hold his face right there where I want it. Somewhere in the back of my head, I realize that we're both moaning softly – but I don't care. Pressing my body even tighter against his, I almost wish we weren't standing in some restaurant kitchen. No, scratch that, I _definitely_ wish we weren't standing in some restaurant kitchen. I wish we were somewhere a little more… Private. Preferably somewhere with a bed. Although really… Any surface that's not tiled would do right now. 

Suddenly, Genma chuckles, pulling back and letting go of me. A little confused, I let his face slip out of my grasp, swallowing hard as Genma leans back against the counter behind him. He crosses his legs, hands resting comfortably on the edge of the counter as he smirks, "Iruka… We're in my best friend's parents' restaurant kitchen. It's all cold tiles and thin walls around here. I've done some pretty stupid and embarrassing things in my life, but could we please not add going any further _here_ of all places to that list? Eiji's a light sleeper, he'd catch us in about two minutes…" His smirk slowly turns into an embarrassed smile, "And if you touch me anymore right now, I'm not even going to care about that anymore…" 

I chuckle, leaning my hip against the counter beside me, "You make a good point there. This 'catch' that I apparently am wouldn't be held in such high regard after something like that, huh?" 

"Oh, they'd _never_ –" Chuckling, Genma relaxes a little more, a soft expression on his face as he quietly admits, "They'd only blame _me_. Probably say something like," His voice suddenly changes, a mock of Kame's voice, "We should've expected something like that from you, Genni. The poor lad, I thought we raised you _better_ , Genni…" Chuckling again, Genma dips his head, his tone returning to normal, "And you know, they kind of did. So…" 

"Yeah," Pushing off the counter, I swallow hard, "Let's just clean up here like we promised, right?" 

"Right," Still chuckling lightly, Genma returns to the dishes while I grab a clean cloth to wipe the table in our booth. Unable to resist, I place a quick kiss on Genma's cheek before making my way back to the front of the restaurant, chuckling as I hear his surprised gasp. 

Once in the restaurant itself, my pace slows a little. Looking around in the cozy room, a smile plays around my lips. I finally got my date with Genma Shiranui. Oh, _yes_ I did. But I got so much more as well… Kisses, _amazing_ conversation, chuckles… A chance to meet his second set of parents – which makes me wonder what the 'original set' is like – and… Basically… A confession. Right? He said he's completely serious about me, that he doesn't want me to date anyone else. That's really… A _confession_ , isn't it? My footsteps falter, eventually coming to a complete halt right in the middle of the restaurant floor. Blinking, I replay our conversation over and over in my head. Everything he's said so far, everything he's done – it's all being closely examined. 

_Genma_ was the one that noticed me back in that bar, even though I was standing more or less behind him. The people I was actually _facing_ didn't say a thing. No-one spoke to me, no-one interrupted our little side conversation. No-one even said hello. After Genma followed me out, they left us alone for… How long? Almost ten minutes, right? That doesn't necessarily mean anything though... Genma said he'd pulled a favor to access my file, I don't know much about the going-on's at Hokage Tower, but that can't have been _that_ easy. Then, he brought me to _this_ place. The restaurant where he is basically a part of the owner's family. Would _I_ bring someone to a place like that on a first date? No way! No… Especially not since every time Kade opens her mouth, Genma's embarrassed. I doubt he'd take just anyone here. They call him 'Genni' – if he took people here more often, I'm guessing the entire town would know that by now. _I_ would've known about it by now, I did some pretty thorough research on the guy after all. And then, he goes and says all these things about protecting me, about keeping me safe. And he doesn't want me to date anyone else, he's totally serious about me. Like I am about him. Only… _I've_ had my eye on Genma for years. 

Years… 

I've been following his life for years… 

I've been following a _shinobi_ for years… 

He _couldn't_ have…! 

Suddenly fearless, I spin on my heels. Back to the kitchen, back to Genma. Back to the only place I'll get some freaking _answers_! 

"I know, I know Nobu… He's still here, though…" 

Freezing in place, one hand extended to the door that's just a little ajar, I blink. Genma's… _Talking_ to someone in there. Nobu… Where did I hear that name before? 

"Really? I would've thought he'd gone home by _now…_ " 

The other man's voice is smooth, polished. I can't help it – I have an instant dislike for the guy. Nobu… Wait, wasn't that –? 

"He's not. He actually offered to help me clean up. I mean, we kept your parents up so I wanted to at least take over the clean-up here and Iruka immediately said he'd help. He really _is_ all that great, Nobu. I _still_ can't believe my luck." 

"It's not luck, Genni. If anything, _he's_ the lucky one." 

A small chuckle drifts through the open door, a chuckle I've come to know well in only a couple hours; Genma's slightly embarrassed chuckle, " _Maybe_. But you really ought to go, buddy. Iruka could come back any moment, and –" 

"Yeah, yeah, I know. You don't want your little boy-toy to find me here, I get it…" 

"He's _not_ my boy-toy!" Genma's voice is almost unrecognizable as he hisses, "I'm in _love_ with him, Bu-bu. You _know_ how long I've waited for this chance!" 

"I know, chill Genni. _Chill_. I'm going now, okay? Just chill out, man…" A frustrated sigh, footsteps. The back door opening and closing. Another deep sigh – this one's Genma's – followed by muttered words that I can _just_ about make out. 

"Why's he showin' up here all of the sudden? Hasn't bloody been here in _years_ , all of the sudden he's standin' there, just… Buttin' _in._ What the hell…?" 

A quiet sigh escapes me. Unsure what to make of all of this, I turn back to the restaurant again. I'll clean the table first. Maybe after that I'll have gathered enough of my thoughts again to deal with this…


	8. Chapter 8

_**Author's Note:**_ So, another chapter. Another… Hehe… 5 pages? I know, I know, I can do better. But then you'd miss out on all my wonderful cliffies! xD 

I bow down in gratitude, for my amazing Beta: _Marina._ You are beyond amazing, beyond wonderful and beyond every other synonym I could ever come up with. Who again… Only helped me create this chapter. She _did_ sorta do Beta while I was writing it though, so guess that still counts, right?

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ I do not own any of these characters, Kishimoto does. I only own my own creativity and _just a little courage.  
_

))O((

Just A Little Courage

))O((

I take my time, stalling, putting off going back into that kitchen. I don't want to know what I'll find there, I don't want to think about what I just heard. But I can't _stop_ thinking about it. Genma said that he's in love with me. Asked his best friend if he knew just how long he'd waited for this chance. What chance? This? The date? But if that's the case… Why didn't he ask _me_ out? Am I over thinking this? Or is it true that something about all this just doesn't add up? And that Nobu… Why did just the sound of his _voice_ make me squirm? It's just another guy, right? Why do I have this nagging feeling that I'm starting to hate him already? I've never even _met_ the guy. Besides… It wasn't even like he was putting me down so bad. 'Boy-toy' – I've been called worse. Shrugging a little uncomfortably, I lean against the table that was the stage of budding love only a little while ago. 

"Iruka…? Is something wrong?" His tone is careful as he approaches. But Genma stops when he's still a few steps away. I can hear his teeth connecting to the metal in his mouth – a nerve-wrecking sound that just won't stop. My hands slowly ball to fists and I clench my teeth, but I can't keep quiet. 

Spinning on my heels, I snap at him, " _Will_ you just pluck that oversized toothpick out of that darned _mouth_ of yours?!" 

Startled, I watch Genma take a small step back, his expression conveying the exact same emotions that are flooding my own mind. Shock, hurt, surprise, a touch of fear – I have _no_ idea what to say to that. 

"Iruka, I'm sorry…" Swallowing, he pulls the senbon from betwixt his lips, sticking it in his pocket for the time being, "I didn't realize how much that upset you, I guess…" 

"It's not _that_ …" I sigh, leaning back against the table, "I'm just… A little on edge, apparently," A wry smile creeps over my face, "So that was Nobu, huh?" 

"You heard," It's a statement, delivered in a tone so devoid of emotion that I have to do a double check – yes, Genma's still Genma. As far as I know, at least. 

"Yes…" My own tone is hesitant, unsure. 

"How much?" Still, he sounds like there is no life left in him, and I watch him swallow. Mercilessly chewing his lip – probably trying to make up for the loss of the senbon – Genma frowns just a little. 

A slight chuckle escapes me, I can't help it. Genma looks… _Cute_ , like this. The tease slips back into my voice – my age-old defense mechanism, "Apparently I'm your boy-toy…" 

Across from me, Genma slowly closes his eyes, dips his head down. But then he looks up again, dark eyes searching for my own as his voice sounds strong and willful once more, "No, you're not. But that means you heard what I told him, didn't you?" 

I whisper, unable to make my voice sound strong like his, "Yes…" 

Genma smirks, shaking his head a little as he closes the distance between us, his hands resting lightly on my shoulders. His tone is soft but warm, "A while back, years ago actually, I was asked to deliver some paperwork to the headmaster of the academy. So I get there, and I ask the nearest adult where I can find said headmaster's office. A guy, I asked. A guy with lightly tanned skin and a scar running across the bridge of his nose. Thought he looked kinda cute," He cocks his head lightly, "Not that I said anything. There were kids around and all that – not a good environment for flirting. Besides, flirting with some random guy in the place that he most likely _works_ is never a good idea. I kind of learned that the hard way. So… He points me in the right direction, and as I make my way over he calls after me, telling me that the headmaster isn't at work right now. So, you know, I turn back to him. And he says I can just give him the papers and he'll take care of it – something about already expecting them or something. After that, be basically waved me away because some kid needed his attention. I didn't leave, though. Watched him. He was so sweet to that little girl, she'd fallen or something, skinned her knee. He was so sweet to her, and I just…" Genma swallows, smirking at me, "I fell for him. Right then and there. But I thought he'd never go for a guy like me. And the more I asked around, the more people told me he wasn't dating anymore. Some said he had a partner, others told me he'd gotten hurt and refused to date anyone from there on. There were even rumors about this guy having an affair with some married dude. That he was a kept man. Didn't buy into that though…" For a moment, Genma looks thoughtful, "Guess I kept hoping it was option number two, and that he'd come around before I died of old age." 

"I remember that day…" Surprised by my own voice, I blink. I didn't mean to say anything, but now he's looking at me, waiting for me to continue. I take a deep breath, smelling his faint cologne makes me smile a little, "That was about a year and a half after I'd first seen you at the baths. I got all nervous, because you were right _there_ , and…" I pull a face, "I guess I acted like a jerk, huh?" 

"Not really," His smile is reassuring, his tone warm, his cologne overpowering, "More preoccupied, I suppose. I just figured you were a little caught off guard by the disruption of your routine. Kids need a steady routine, right? So… I just thought you were trying to get everything back to normal as soon as you could – for them." 

"Heh..." I flash him an embarrassed smile, "More like… For _me_ …" 

"Mmm-hmm," He hums a little, his face all but buried in my hair, "I get that… _Now_ at least," Chuckling lightly, Genma gently wraps his arms around me, "Guess I noticed you too late, huh? You'd already attracted the attention of some creeper…" 

"Yeah… About… A year before, I guess. That it started, at least. By the time you showed up at work… I was afraid to even _talk_ to another guy. Even my own colleagues. So… I kind of tried to get you out of there as soon as possible. I didn't want you finding out what my situation was like, I didn't want… Your pity, I guess…" Swallowing against the tears, I bury my face against Genma's chest, my voice muffled by his shirt, "I didn't want you to get caught up in my troubles…" 

"Iruka… I _want_ to get caught up in your troubles. I can only hope that you'll allow me to bear them _with_ you. If I have my way, I'm not going anywhere. I want to stay with you, I want to get to know you even better than I know myself. I want to help you find the person responsible for making you feel like that. I want to bring that person to justice, have them feel what it's like to live in the dark, to be afraid to even _talk_ to another person. I want…" I can feel him sigh softly, "I want _you_ , Iruka Umino." 

Swallowing hard, I press myself even tighter against Genma. I don't even know what to say anymore, I don't know how to respond. All I know is this: I don't ever want to let this man go again. I, Iruka Umino, want Genma Shiranui. I want him in my life, I want him in my arms, I want – a hot blush burns my cheeks as I realize this, but – I want him in my bed. Unconsciously, one of my hands wanders down a little, cupping his ass without any sort of permission.

A quiet, almost inaudible moan escapes Genma, and I have to work hard to bite back my chuckle. The arms around me let go, and so do I as he takes a small step back, "Iruka… What did I say about tiles and light sleepers back there?" His thumb points at the kitchen, and this time I really can't hold back the chuckle. 

"If I touched you one more time you wouldn't even care about that anymore, right? Besides… No tiles here, _Genni_. Soft plush couches and chairs. Carpet on the floor…" 

Flushed, he bites his lip, "Please don't ever call me that when I'm this horny…" Groaning softly, Genma digs his senbon out of his pocket, places it back between his lips, "Complete. Total. _Utter._ Mood killer," He smirks, "Then again, probably for the best. Wouldn't want to have to clean _that_ up as well…" 

Smirking, I lean back against the table, "Leaves the most boring question there is to this sort of thing…" 

"What? If I'm done cleaning? Yes," He sounds _so_ serious, but there's a twinkle in Genma's eye. I _know_ he knows what I mean. 

"That's important, _very_ much so. But…" Slowly, I step forward, almost lazily dragging my finger over his chest as I all but whisper, "Your place or mine?" 

His hand gently grabs mine, stilling it as Genma smiles warmly, "Depends. You have your reasons to keep your apartment secure, but mine's all the way across town. I'm leaving the decision up to you, Iruka. And just so you know, I'm also leaving the decision about what exactly is going to happen next up to you. You know I'm horny, and I know you're horny. But I promised you that I would protect you – and that that would include carelessness on my part as well. I will not ask you to step beyond your boundaries. Not for something like this." 

I let out a frustrated sigh, "You know… Just because I said I'm not the kind of guy that'll jump into bed with just about anyone doesn't mean that I don't know _what_ I want and _when_ I want it…" 

He chuckles lightly, lifting my hand and placing a soft kiss on my palm, mumbling against my hand, "I know. I never suggested that you didn't. I simply explained that I stand by my word, take it as you will." 

Pulling a little face, I take the hand that's still holding mine, "How do we get out of here, Genma?" 

"Back door, kitchen," His voice is a little throaty, and it makes me want to drag him all the way back to my place at top speed. But I hold back – just a little. 

As we pass through the kitchen, Genma chuckles lightly, but he doesn't say anything. I love his chuckles, I love how warm his hand is in mine. I love the fact that he's letting me lead the way, that he doesn't object to me taking charge. I've dated plenty guys who did. Guys who saw it as a challenge of their manhood somehow. But not Genma. Genma is… Nearly perfect. If only he didn't have that – that _man_ for a best friend. Deciding not to think about that anymore, I open the back door, pulling Genma along. I'm already heading for the nearest exit out of the alley when Genma suddenly stops walking. 

"Hang on a minute, I have to lock the door…" Frowning, I let him wiggle his hand out of my grasp, waiting impatiently for him to lock the darned door. To me, it almost feels as if Genma is stalling. That is, until I take a closer look and notice that his hands are all but trembling, that he's having trouble getting the key to go in the lock. Chuckling quietly, I watch as long, lean fingers wrestle their way through the simple task of locking a door, "What…?" 

He frowns at me, but it only causes me to laugh harder, "Just… You're kinda cute like this," Winking, I wrap my arms around him from behind, rest my chin atop his shoulder, "Kinda cute and _really_ hot…" 

Genma chuckles again, "Well, you know… If you hadn't gotten me so worked up earlier, this would probably go a lot smoother…" 

"Hmmm… Probably," I watch as he finally manages to lock the door, "This is more fun, though…" 

"Tease," Turning in my arms, Genma pulls the senbon out of his mouth, his lips immediately capturing mine. After a little while, he mumbles against my lips, "Still have to go 'round and drop the keys in the letterbox though… Sorry." 

Placing one last, lingering kiss on his lips, I pull back. Smiling up at Genma, I cup his face in my hands, "Good things come to those who wait…"


	9. Chapter 9

_**Author's Note:**_ And now you know why I changed the rating to 'M' after all…  
Oh and Yen… I know this is still _technically_ their first date, and you don't like 'out and out smut' on the first date (your words, not mine) but you still love me, right? *bats eyelashes while attempting to look cute* 

PS: Who here's watched Sweeny Todd…? xD 

I bow down in gratitude, for my amazing Beta: _Marina._ You are beyond amazing, beyond wonderful and beyond every other synonym I could ever come up with. Her Beta was once again done mostly while I was writing this. She´s busy, I´m busy… But I hope you´ll forgive me any mistakes that I´ve missed…

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ I do not own any of these characters, Kishimoto does. I only own my own creativity and _just a little courage.  
_

))O((

Just A Little Courage

))O((

Walking up the steps of my apartment building, I instinctively let go of Genma's hand, slowing my pace a little as I cannot help but sneak a look around to see if anyone else is there. Genma doesn't seem to mind, for which I'm grateful because right now, I'm nervous. _Extremely_ nervous. I haven't brought a guy home with me in forever – since even before I moved. 

Just minutes ago, I was dragging him along, stealing kisses every couple of steps. But now… _Now_ I'm scared. I can't help it, my apartment _should_ be the place where I feel safest, but it's not. My trembling hand searches for the keys in my pocket, tries to put the key in the hole. 

"Iruka," His tone is warm and caring, "I'll keep you safe. No-one's gonna harm you, not while I'm around." 

"Right…" Looking over my shoulder, I offer him a small smile. Genma's words calm me down, help me feel safer. But that doesn't mean I can just leave the past behind me like it hasn't even happened. I _wish_ I could… 

Crossing the threshold, I hold the door for Genma, smiling a little self-consciously, "Welcome again, I guess…" 

He chuckles, closing the door behind him before wrapping his arms around me, leaning over to whisper in my ear, "Thank you. You know… The door's closed, there's no windows in your hallway and I _really_ want to kiss you right now…" 

A slight chuckle escapes me, "Really now?" I know I sound like a tease again, but honestly I'm relieved he's trying to put me at ease. How long has it even been since I was with another man? Years, right? Definitely years… 

Turning my head just a little, I place a gentle kiss on his cheek, "There's this sharp pointy object that's kind of in the way, though…" 

Genma chuckles, untangling one arm so he can put the senbon back in his pocket. He smirks at me, "No there's not." 

Smiling, I capture soft lips, my tongue immediately requesting entrance – I don't like to be kept waiting. But Genma clearly has a teasing streak to him as well; His lips stay closed as he places soft kisses on my lips, lingering one time, retreating another. Making absolutely sure there's no way I can actually keep up with him. I feel how my back is gently pushed up against the wall, his fingers opening the zipper of my flack vest before starting to work on the buttons on my shirt. 

I can hear myself panting and it's becoming increasingly difficult to even _try_ to keep up with his kisses. Genma chuckles lightly, his lips traveling to my pulse instead. My flack vest and shirt are slid down my shoulders together but before they've even hit the ground, Genma's hands are already pushing up the hem of my undershirt. Moaning softly, I gently push his head away from my neck, wanting to get the chance to rid _him_ of some clothes as well. 

My fingers tremble ever so slightly and tab slips out of my grasp a couple times before I finally manage a firm enough hold to open the zipper of Genma's flack vest. Pushing the thing off of him, I push Genma back as well. His back touches the opposite wall of my narrow hallway and I mirror his actions from before. Pressing my lips to his pulse, my fingers get to work on his buttons. 

"Ah… _Fuck_ , yeah…" He wiggles under my ministrations, moaning softly as his hands try to find some place on my body to touch. My arms, shoulders, hips – Genma's hands are everywhere. 

Finally his shirt is open, and a mere second later it lies discarded on the floor. I press my body up against him, feeling hands snake under my shirt, pushing the hem up once more. Taking a small step back, I pull the shirt off my body. Immediately after, I pull his off as well, unintentionally pulling his bandana off in the same motion. Genma smiles at me, a warm smile though filled with the same lust that's surging through my own body. His lips meet mine halfway, our kiss slow and sweet, our hands wandering the other's now exposed skin. He gently removes my hitai-ate, letting it fall to the floor with a small thud. 

Breaking the kiss, Genma's lips place soft, barely there kisses along my jaw, slowly making his way to my earlobe. As he nibbles gently, his whispering voice sends shivers down my spine, "We might be better off continuing this on a bed, Iruka…" 

A soft moan escapes me, and I find myself unable to speak. Hooking my fingers behind his belt, I pull him along once more, crossing through my apartment and straight into my bedroom. My double bed takes up most of the space in the room, one side facing the door, the other set against the far wall. Pulling Genma in, I switch our positions so I can gently push him down on the bed. Immediately straddling him, I push Genma on his back, my lips reattaching to his once more. 

Smiling against my lips, Genma gently cups my face, "Iruka, I need to tell you something…" 

A little startled, I pull back a bit, regarding the man with a wary look. What on earth is he talking about? Is he – is he trying to tell me that sleeping with him brings the risk of getting whatever it is that he has? 

"Well, two things, actually," He chuckles lightly as I frown, "First of all, let's just get this out of the way – I don't fuck without a condom. Secondly – and more importantly – what I _really_ wanted to say is this," I watch in confusion as Genma smirks, "I love you, Iruka Umino." 

Sitting back on my knees, I beam at him, "I love you too, Genma Shiranui." 

Smiling, Genma sits up. Before I even know what's happening, his lips are back on my body, kissing, caressing my stomach, my chest. Latching on to one of my nipples, Genma chuckles again, mumbling against my skin, "Good to know. Now how 'bout you tell me what you want? 'Cause I dunno 'bout you, but right now I'll do just about anything for ya…" 

My hands find their way into brown locks, my mouth only capable of letting out soft moans and pants. He'll do just about anything for me? Great. How about not stopping this? Because his lips and tongue are blowing my mind. One hand is resting on the small of my back, the other rubbing up and down the inside of my leg. Each time Genma's hand moves up, he inches closer to my cock. His lips slowly move down a little, and I can't help but tug at his hair, wanting to keep him in place. 

Chuckling again, Genma does the exact opposite, pulling his lips away from my skin and smiling up at me, even though his eyes and tone are serious, "Iruka, I need to know… Are we cool on the condom?" 

I nod, biting back my frustration at the sudden loss of contact, "Wouldn't go without. Kinda relieved you feel the same. But, eh…" 

Another chuckle, "Gotcha," His hand moves further up, cupping me through my pants. I can't hold back the moan as Genma seemingly instinctively massages a little, but his surprised gasp is what pulls me back to the moment, "Wow… You got quite the package there…" 

I can't help but chuckle at the look on his face – it's the look I'm kind of used to, but it looks so much better on Genma's face. Surprise, awe, a hint of trepidation – that last one always worries me a little. But then he suddenly smirks, a sparkle in those immensely deep, dark eyes, " _Jackpot_." 

"Yeah? You up for that, Genma?" My tone is a little teasing, but I'm not sure how I'll react if he says 'no'. I love this man, and I want him to accept me – including what's in my pants. Not every guy does that. Not by a long shot… 

"Oh _hell_ yeah…" Smiling, he works his way up to his knees, placing a soft kiss on my lips, "I'm _definitely_ up for that, Iruka." 

I smile back at him, placing quick, soft kisses on his lips. Genma´s hands find their way to the button on my pants, opening it and sliding down the zipper as my hands unbuckle his belt. Pulling it free from the loops on his pants, I lay the belt across his shoulders, use it to gently keep him in place – right there in reach of my lips. Chuckling lightly, Genma allows me to keep him captive, kissing me back almost feverishly. But at the same time, his hands wander over and around my stiff length, making me moan in pleasure. 

Letting go of the belt, I sent my own hands out to explore Genma's body. His chest, abdomen – gliding lower still. Another quiet chuckle sounds through the room. Genma's lips are all but glued to my neck, but he still manages to speak, using that same hoarse tone that apparently _still_ sends shivers down my spine, "Not quite the surprise _you_ got there, I'm afraid." 

"Hmm-mm, I don't care," Smiling, I place a few soft, barely there kisses on his neck, "I'm just… Happy you're here with me…" 

"Hmmm…" His hand slowly leaves my crotch as he caresses both my sides instead, "Same here, Iruka. Same here…" 

For a while – I couldn't for the _life_ of me start to time it – we just sit there, holding each other close, placing soft, lingering kisses. I can't remember the last time I felt so happy, so safe, so… _Content._ Everything is great right now, this is the perfect moment. I wish it could last forever.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Author's Note:**_ Yes. This is short. But more words would not make this chapter any better. Trust me ;) 

I bow down in gratitude, for my amazing Beta: _Marina._ You are beyond amazing, beyond wonderful and beyond every other synonym I could ever come up with.

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ I do not own any of these characters, Kishimoto does. I only own my own creativity and _just a little courage.  
_

))O((

Just A Little Courage

))O((

His lips leave mine in favor of my neck again, and I'm starting to realize that that's because it's _his_ favorite place – but it's not mine. Oh, I'm loving his lips on my pulse, for sure, but if he's _really_ looking to make me feel good, Genma will have to move a little lower. Almost without thinking about it, my hands reach for the belt that's still laying across his shoulders. Gently tugging, I guide Genma down just a little. He chuckles again, but immediately takes the hint, his lips caressing just shy of where I really want them. I _know_ he realizes this, and it's clear that he's enjoying my slightly frustrated whimpers. Chuckling again, Genma's voice comes out a little throaty, "You sure know what you want, don't you?" 

"Hm-mm, I do… You know what I want too," Smiling, I look down at brown, tousled locks. Undecided between keeping my hands on either side of the belt, or burying them in his hair again. Genma chuckles lightly once more, his hands gently massaging my ass a little as his lips tease just around my nipple. 

"I like taking my time, though," Looking up for a moment, he flashes me a quick wink before – _finally_ – closing his lips around the little nub that's aching for his attention. Hands moving up a little, Genma holds on to my sides, gently pushing me sideways and down. Smiling, I let him lay me on my side, my hands seeking support on strong shoulders for just a moment. The contrast between my own, tanned skin and his paler one is almost stunning and another soft moan escapes me – though that _could've_ just been caused by his expertise with his lips and tongue. 

"Yeah? You like that?" There is another chuckle in his voice, I love hearing his chuckles. Genma seems to laugh a lot when he's happy – and that's absolutely fine by me. As his hand finds my cock again, I am unable to really answer him, but my moans are getting increasingly louder and he seems to get the gist of it anyway. 

One leg slips in between mine, pushing them apart just a little further. Genma's hand is getting serious now, and I can feel how my breath hitches in my throat. My hands are buried in brown locks, my moans getting louder with every second, "Ay, oh god… Shit, Genma… So _good…_ " 

"Hmm-mm," Humming against my skin, Genma pulls his hand back a little, instead letting it glide over my ass once more, "Not yet, though. Not yet, Iruka…" 

A little frustrated, my hands increase their hold on his head, but Genma only chuckles again, "Wouldn't want to miss out on that, Iruka. You'll get what you deserve from me, I promise. Just not yet…" He gently pushes me on my back, crawling over me as he slowly, ever so slowly kisses his way back up to my lips once more. 

I make sure to greet them with a passionate kiss, wrapping one arm around his waist while the other hand remains buried in his hair. My hand slowly wanders down, cupping his ass, massaging gently. Genma lets out a low moan, breaking out of the kiss and dropping his head to rest in the crook of my neck. I can feel soft kisses, can hear him moaning softly, panting. The hand that was tangled up in his hair travels down to meet its counterpart and I chuckle a little as Genma seems to instinctually curve his back, pushing his ass up a little, "Yeah… Oh-hmm… Like that, Iruka. Just like that… Yeah… Oh, keep doing that…" 

Like I'd stop when he's making such delectable sounds! The soft kisses have seriously decreased in frequency – Genma's attention wholly on the way my hands feel on his body – I figure that's a good thing. But I want more. Rolling over, I push him on his back, press my lips against his as my fingers work to open his pants. Before I slide them down, I pull out of the kiss for a moment, study his face, "Are you okay with this?" 

"Ah… Iruka," His voice is throaty, and Genma moans softly as he bites his lip, " _More_ than okay… Please…" 

As I slide down pants and underwear alike, my eyes feast on the sight before them. Genma's cock stiffly stands to attention, all but begging me to slide my lips around it. Which I do. A loud moan erupts from the man that I've loved for four years, strong hands gently tangling up in my hair. The band that once kept it together is long gone – I have no idea when or where or how it went, but that doesn't matter. What matters is that he is obviously enjoying my attentions. 

It's been a while since I did this, and honestly I was scared that I might have gone a little rusty. But as my tongue and lips work around his cock I realize that I most certainly am not. And that Genma is enjoying himself. That much is crystal clear. The hold he has on my head tightens for a brief moment, before I can feel all of him relax. Swallowing, I smile. That didn't take long at _all_ … 

Releasing his wilting cock, my eyes search for his. Genma's face is flushed, his lips slightly parted as he pants softly. But his dark eyes shine brightly, and he smiles at me, "You're amazing," He breathes, hands still stroking my head. Smiling back at him, I crawl up over his body, bringing my lips as close to his as I can without actually touching. 

"Am I now?" The teasing tone cannot be helped, I feel like drawing this out as long as I possibly can. Or as long as I can stand it, at least. 

Smiling back, Genma wraps his arms around me, pulling me tight against his own body, "Yes." 

Relaxing into his gentle hold, I smile, placing soft kisses on his jaw as my hands struggle to find someplace to touch. Chuckling, he pulls me in even tighter, wrapping his legs around me now as well, "You're stuck now. All mine," Laughing softly, Genma beams at me. 

I let out a frustrated sound, but decide against struggling. It's not that I mind this at all, I'm just a little too horny to cope with the 'no touching' situation. But Genma's eyes open wide and he immediately releases me, apologizing. Sighing, I rest my head on his shoulder, "It's okay. I don't mind. I just…" I swallow hard, my fingers unconsciously toying with his hard nipple, making him moan softly, "I want to touch. And be touched…"Pulling a face, I whisper, "It's been so long…" 

His soft sigh sounds relieved somehow, his tone low as I feel the words resonating through Genma's chest, "Same here." 

"Really?" Shooting up, I rest my hands on either side of him, staring down at the man in disbelief. 

Genma chuckles a little embarrassedly, "Is it that surprising?" 

"Well… _Yeah_ , I guess…" Blinking, I study his features for a moment. Genma is so damn _hot_ , how can _he_ not be getting any? 

Another embarrassed chuckle sounds through the quiet room, "What? Just because I _could_ doesn't mean I _want_ to… Honestly…" Looking away for a moment, he wraps his arms around me again, loosely this time but just enough to pull me back down and on top of him, "Honestly Iruka… Ever since I realized that I wanted _you_ … I haven't really tried dating much anymore. Partly because… I just wasn't interested anymore and partly…" Looking back at me, Genma gazes deep into my eyes. It's distracting, but I can still hear his whispered words. They sing through my heart, warming even the deepest, darkest places there, "I wanted to be available should you ever… Notice me…" 

A warm smile spreads across my face, "Oh, I noticed you… I _definitely_ noticed you." 

Chuckling again, Genma shifts on the bed so that we lay on our sides facing each other. Leaning over, he whispers in my ear, his soft breath sending shivers down my spine, "Know what I noticed about _you_?" He shifts again, his hand softly running up and down the front of my pants, his tone dropping even further, "This, right here, is begging me to pay attention…" 

I whimper softly, unable to speak. Panting, I nod. Wrapping my arms around his neck I push myself up against that stroking hand that feels so good. 

He chuckles again, softly, "What do you want, Iruka? I already told you… I'll do just about anything for you right now." 

I nod again, moaning quietly as the gentle rubbing turns into a gentle massage. What do I want? I _know_ what I want. And, given his reaction earlier… Genma might actually be totally okay with that. But it's kind of scary, I don't exactly have the most experience with these kinds of situations. Usually, I end up doing what the other guy wants, just because I don't want to hurt them, don't want to make them feel like they _have_ to take what I have to offer. Not that I mind. Really, I don't. Still… With _Genma_ … Things might be different. He's not intimidated, he's not trying to turn things around. And it's not like I don't know what to do… But at the same time… 

This is _Genma Shiranui!_ The very _last_ thing I want to do is mess this up! If I push him, and he doesn't want to… I _love_ him! Taking a deep breath, I open my mouth. Close it again. Shyly looking away, I swallow hard. 

"Iruka…" There is something in his voice that almost sounds a little like pouting, "Iruka _please_ … Don't make me _beg_ for it…?!" 

Blinking, I stare at him. Feeling the corners of my mouth curl upwards, I try to hold back, but I can't. A devious smirk appears on my face as I let my fingers ghost over his chest, "What if I _want_ you to beg for it…?" I can't control what's happening anymore. I've lost all control. This was _not_ what I had in mind! But I just can't _help_ myself! Something in Genma's voice makes it so that this is impossible to resist. No _way_ I can pass up this opportunity! 

His dark eyes glaze over, and for only a second, he seems to pull back. But then Genma smirks, "Your wish is my command, oh Gorgeousness." 

My own eyes are heavily lidded as I watch him slide off the bed. Sitting on his knees, he looks up at me. I shift a little, laying on my side and leaning on one elbow I watch him. For a few seconds, Genma is very still. But it doesn't take long for a small, mischievous smile starts to form, "Please, Iruka. Come inside me…" 

Cocking my head a little, I can't help but chuckle, "Where inside you, Genma? Do you want me to come inside your ear? Inside your nose? You're going to have to be a little more _specific_ , Sexy…" 

He swallows, then chuckles again. That slightly embarrassed little chuckle that I am so very much in love with. Looking away for just a second, Genma clearly tries to regain his composure. I try to lay very still, trying hard not to ruin the moment. When he turns back to me, there is a fire in Genma's eyes, "Iruka Umino, fuck me. Please, fuck me. I want to feel your throbbing cock inside my ass. I want to feel how you fill me up. I want you to have your way with me. I want you to come inside me, Iruka. Your cock, my ass. Please let me feel you inside me." 

My mouth suddenly feels way too dry, so I try to swallow. Nodding slowly, I start to push myself up, "How do you want me to fuck you, Genma?" 

"Anyway you want." 


	11. Chapter 11

_**Author's Note:**_ Okay, so… For the people that know me, this should probably not be a surprise, lol. For those that don't (and clarity reasons)… This is a _flashback chapter._ Please don't freak out. But you know… Suspension and all that… xD But hey, at least the chapter is a little longer this time… 

I bow down in gratitude, for my amazing Stand-in Beta: Letsrandom _._ You are _also_ beyond amazing, beyond wonderful and beyond every other synonym I could ever come up with.

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ I do not own any of these characters, Kishimoto does. I only own my own creativity and _just a little courage.  
_

))O((

Just A Little Courage

))O((

Shivering, I pull the blanket a little closer around my shoulders. I never expected this. Tears cloud my vision as I gaze out my bedroom window. It's dark outside, but I don't feel safe. I contemplate reaching out and closing the curtains, but that would mean moving. I don't want to move. Sighing, I close my eyes. 

_You're filthy. Disgusting people like you should not be allowed to live.  
Take a kunai, slit your throat and rid the world of your presence once and for all.  
Sincerely,  
A friend  
_

Swallowing against the tears once more, I try to ban the words out. The note had been slipped under my door earlier today. I don't know who sent it; it's _certainly_ not a friend of mine. Licking my dry lips, I let myself fall to my side. Curling up into a fetal position, I try to empty my mind. To not think of anything anymore. Slowly, my world goes black. 

Maybe this is for the best. Maybe this 'friend' is right. Maybe I should die. Maybe… Maybe there's something wrong with me… _Maybe_ … 

_No!_ Shooting up, I throw the blanket off. Scowling at the piece of paper left by anyone but a friend of mine, I leave the room. Not sure what to do now, and feeling the energy provided by my initial outburst dwindle down to nothing, I sink down on my couch. 

Who _is_ this person? What do they _want_ from me? Well, obviously they want me to kill myself, but… I don't understand it. Yes, I'm gay. Yes, I don't feel the need to hide that. Yes, I go out with men. Yes, I sleep with them – rarely, but still. Why is that so bad? I don't understand. Is this someone that I've scorned? But… No matter how much I wrack my brain, I can't come up with a single name. Not _one._

Sighing, I drop my head in my hands. I can´t do this anymore. I swear to god, I just cannot do this anymore. I´m distracted at work, I basically cussed out my date last night because he wanted to kiss me, I can´t eat, can´t sleep. I can´t _do_ this _anymore_. 

One deep breath, and I look around. Another, and I rise from the couch. Air fills my lungs like I wish confidence would fill my soul as I look around one more time. Then I move. Quickly, like I was taught all those years ago. Quickly, like the shinobi that deep down in my heart I know that I am. Quickly, before I lose my nerve. 

Closing the curtains throughout my apartment, I retrieve the note that was on my bed, the box that was stashed on the top shelve of my closet. Walking back to my living room, I move to the table. Turning one light on, but setting it so there´s only a dim glow. I can´t be bothered to carefully clear the table, swiping my arm over it instead. My cactus, two books and a notepad with pen clatter to the floor. See if I care. Holding the box upside down, I dump the contents on the table before sitting down. Gritting my teeth, I start sorting through the pile of notes and pictures. Placing them in the order in which I got them. I try not to read anything, try not to really look at anything. But of course that effort is futile. Words burn my eyes, rip at my heart. But I have to get through this. So there´s one person that wants me to die, so what? They want me to kill myself, so what? They think I'm a disgusting monster, so _what_? I am Iruka Umino, and I refuse to let them get to me. Even if they clearly _are_ , I refuse to let this rule my life. No more. I'm done. 

))O((

"I understand, Iruka-sensei, but there's not much we can _do_ …" 

Frustrated, I scowl at the security officer, "This person is _harassing_ me. I'm pretty sure this is about five different kinds of illegal!" 

"True…" The other security officer lazily puts his coffee down. It pisses me off to the point where I just want to grab that cup of coffee and throw it in his _face._ Why aren't they taking me seriously? Is it because I'm a shinobi? Is it because I'm a guy? Is it because they actually _agree_ with this person and think I'm _sick_?! Trembling with suppressed anger, I watch as the guy – who is older than his colleague, if I had to guess, I'd say he was around thirty, thirty-five or so while the other one is around my own age – calmly places his arms on the table, "You're right. It's illegal. And it's immoral. And it's so disgustingly wrong that this kind of behavior still exists that it makes me sick to my stomach. This exactly is why I stopped talking to my husband about how my day went." 

I gasp slightly, and he gives me a weak smile. 

"I wish I could tear this whole village apart, looking for whoever sent these messages. I really do. But the security force isn't what it used to be, I highly doubt we'll ever find him. The only thing I can really do for you is help you relocate. I can switch your info to unlisted. Ultimately though, that's only as secure as you allow it to be. If you give your new address out to the wrong person, you're going to end up right back here, in the same position. Still," He stretches, raising his arms above his head, "That's the best I can offer you. In the meantime, I will keep this complaint file open. I will do my best to find the person responsible. But I don't want to get your hopes up," Crossing his arms before his chest, the officer pulls a face, "You basically have _no_ hopes of ever confronting your stalker." 

I swallow, bowing my head to hide the fact that I'm biting back tears. This is surreal, even the _police_ can't help me. Someone is threatening my _life_ and _no-one_ , not a _single_ soul, can help me. 

"Iruka-sensei," The younger man speaks up, his tone thick with emotion, "This doesn't mean that we won't _try_. It just means that you shouldn't get your hopes up. These cases rarely end on a positive note. However," Attempting an encouraging smile, the man looks even dumber than before, his next words only driving that point home for me, "Often times when the victim moves with no forwarding address, the stalker will give up!" 

Letting out a deep breath, I shake my head a little, "You mean: He will bother someone _else_." 

"Correct," The older man's tone is glum, a frown on his face, "However, there's a chance that he might mess up. So, anything else you hear from this guy…" Worrying the inside of his lip, he reaches into his pocket. Pulling out a little card, he slides it over the table, "Let me know. Me _personally_. I don't care if it's the middle of the night, that's my home address on there. You come see me, okay? And if it's during the day, just come here and ask for Ageha." 

Hesitantly, I reach out. Taking the card from the table, I frown a little, "Why are you doing all this? You don't even _know_ me…" 

He smiles briefly, "I know you. Better than either one of us would like. I married a guy who was in the same situation you are in now." 

"Did you catch _his_ …" Swallowing, I avert my eyes. I can't say it. Ageha seems to understand though, his expression a little sad. 

"No. But I know who he is, where he is… And if he ever manages to come back to life, I will bust him the moment he leaves his grave," Chuckling humorlessly, he turns to his colleague, "Ryouichi, get the paperwork, will you?" 

As the younger man nods and leaves the room, Ageha looks back at me again, his tone soft and warm, "He knows the drill. Gonna be gone for a while. You don't have to be strong all the time, Iruka…" 

Shaking my head, I look away, "If I start crying again, there's no telling when I'll be able to stop. Just… Explain to me what's going to happen next, please." 

I hear him sigh softly. Staring at the wall, I listen to Ageha's calm and thorough explanation. Basically, I'm moving. To an apartment that is in one of the more populated areas of Konoha. Making sure that I can blend in with the crowd and whoever is doing this to me can't follow me too easily. I don't get to pick my own apartment, but I _do_ get to ask for what I need. Do I want a smaller apartment? How many bedrooms? Is there something I really want, like south side windows or a large kitchen? He can't make any promises, but he'll do his best. My address will be unlisted, my personal information private. He discourages me from divulging my address to anyone but immediate family. That one makes me almost laugh a little, but I don't say anything, so Ageha continues. I should forward my mail to a P.O. box. I figure the one I have at work is just as good, but I don't interrupt him. Ageha goes on and on about which safety measures I should be taking but all I can think about is how this isn't fair. Why should _I_ have to be the one to throw my life upside down? Why don't they just _catch_ this guy so I can move on with my life? Did he not just call me the _victim_ in this? 

As Ryouichi returns with the paperwork, I push those thoughts aside again. Quickly signing where I need to, all I want to do now is leave. Sure enough, I'm out of that room in less than ten minutes. I've been told to go home and start packing, Ageha will personally come pick me up the second they find a suitable apartment. Could be hours, could be days. But he told me that I'd better try to be ready. Once he shows up, I have to leave everything behind. The security officers will handle moving my stuff. If there is anything I don't want them to see, I should either put it in a bag that I take with me – along with some clothes and basic toiletries – or put it in a box that is taped shut. 

Sighing, I realize there isn't much that I would consider 'non-personal'. I have a _lot_ of work to do. Bracing for a high jump, I start cataloging my belongings. Running across the rooftops, I try to come up with a working strategy. He probably only thought I'd want to keep the lube and condoms away from the security officers. And any and all sex toys. Not that I _have_ any… On that note, I should probably check the expiration date on my condoms. They should probably be thrown out anyway… 

Opening the door to my apartment, I freeze in place. _No!_ Not _again!_ But I know I can refuse to believe it 'till kingdom come, it will not change the fact that there is another neatly folded paper lying on my doormat. Shoved under the door once again. I can't deal with this anymore. I swear to god I can't deal with this anymore… 

Closing the door behind me, I shuffle around the bright white on my brown mat. Taking off my shoes, I ignore the paper's existence. Walking into my apartment, I decide to put it out of my thoughts as best as I can. It didn't happen. It's not there. I'm going to pack my things, because I'm going on an adventure. That's it. An adventure. I'm not fleeing, I'm just… In need of a chance of atmosphere. I'm not running _away_ , I'm running _towards_ … Something, I guess. Whatever. It doesn't matter. The important thing is that no-one has any power over me. I'm just… Making a few changes in my life. 

Keeping up with that line of thought, I start packing. My clothes, my books and scrolls. My photo's – I try not to look my parents in the eyes. They would _surely_ be disappointed in me for running away. No! _Not_ running away. Just changing things up a little, trying a new scenery on for size. Yeah, that's right. Maybe I'll be able to see the hokage faces from my window. That would be cool. Yeah, I think I'm gonna hope for that. 

Just as I'm stuffing the last few things in the bag that I'm going to take with me, there is a knock on my door. I freeze. Is that…? Already…? Swallowing, I slowly turn toward the door. My legs refuse to move. This is it. I'm leaving everything behind. I'm not going on some amazing adventure, I'm _fleeing the scene!_ I'm a coward. I don't even _deserve_ any help. I brought this on _myself._ Who am I kidding? If someone's _that_ pissed at me, I must've done something horrible to them. And the fact that I can't even remember what that something _was_ … It just proves that I'm a detestable person. One that doesn't deserve the kindness of others… 

Swallowing hard, my world seems to shrink down to nothing but the narrow hallway leading to the door. My hands clench to fists at my sides. My teeth are gritted. Jaw locked. I force my feet to take a step forward. One hand is tightly squeezed around the strap of my bag, the other balled into a fist. One more step. I swallow. Suddenly I find myself all but running, yanking open the door before I can change my mind. Panting, I look up at the softly smiling face of Ageha. 

He nods at me, then points his thumb behind him, "The movers." 

I follow the motion, swallowing at the sight of three muscular guys in dark jumpsuits, "I… Eh…" 

"Yes," Ageha smiles briefly, though it looks a little sad, "They are from the company we've discussed. I know each and every one of these guys personally, and I can guarantee you that they're trustworthy." 

"Right…" Confused, I take step back, "Do you want to, eh…" 

"It's better if we go now," Leaning over a little, he ignores my flinch, "The streets are busy right now. Best to make use of that. Don't worry, anything that's not packed yet, they will take care of. They're not the kind of guys that'll go snooping either. They're part of the special taskforce that I'm in charge of. You can trust them, I give you my word." 

Blinking, I lean back. Unable to stop it, I whisper the words that caught my attention, "Special taskforce…?" 

Ageha chuckles lightly, "You filled out the form when you came in, yes? That's how you were brought to me. I'm the head of the Minority Harassment Taskforce. My younger colleague that you met earlier today, is my second in command. Not the brightest star in the sky, I'll grant you that, but he means well and he learns quickly. Now, are you ready to go, Iruka?" 

Swallowing, I take one last look at my apartment. It's in a state of dishevelment unlike I've seen in years. After I made chuunin, I made the conscious decision to keep my own environment organized. As my father used to say: 'An organized environment makes for an organized shinobi'. Remembering the quote, I look down for a second, trying to hide the tears in my eyes. But as I do so, my eyes catch on a small, rectangular white shape on my brown mat. And suddenly the tears flow freely. I can't stop them anymore. 

My blurry vision still allows me to see Ageha bending down, picking up the paper, "When did this get here?" 

I whisper, since my voice won't come out any stronger, "Was there when I got home. I… I can't…" 

"May I?" His tone is warm, and it helps put me at ease. Helplessly, I nod. Watching as he unfolds the paper, my legs start to shake so bad I have to lean against the wall, eyes drifting away from the terrifying sight before me and settling on the men behind Ageha. One of them is calmly leaning against the opposite wall. Hands in his pockets, an almost bored look on his face. But I can see his eyes scanning the surroundings from underneath nearly closed eyelids. Number two is casually leaning against the doorframe, looking out through the window as if nothing could be more interesting. Again, I notice the slight hints that he is actually keeping watch. But number three actually isn't watching the parameter at all. Standing almost directly behind Ageha, he looks straight at me. His gaze is intense, his attention clearly focused on nothing but _me_. But not in a scary way. Honestly… If we were in a bar right now, I'd go over and try to talk him up. He looks kinda cute too. Not really 'boyfriend-material' cute, but I just have way too high standards. I _know_ I do. However, right now, this is making me uncomfortable. I'm having some serious 'guy troubles' and it's obvious that he knows, so why is he _looking_ at me like that?! Taken aback, I look away, swallowing hard to ignore how a part of me wants to react to that obvious invitation. It can only end badly. I'm done with guys. No more. I friggin' _quit_. 

"So… This is not from him. This is just your neighbor letting you know that your parcel arrived. Next door," Looking up, Ageha seems confused for a second as I can only stare at him in bewilderment. 

"Oh, right. Yeah… Eh… What parcel?" 

He shrugs, "I dunno, you tell me. What did you order?" 

Confused, I shake my head, "Nothing… I really didn't order anything. Not since…" Swallowing, I whisper, "That lube…" My voices rises a little again, "But that was… Eh…" Again, I whisper, cheeks burning, "Almost a year ago…" 

Ageha's face turns serious as he takes a step back, "Go pick it up. Leave the box on the table. The guys will check it out. If it's trouble, you shouldn't have to deal with it anymore." 

I nod, but don't move. Eyes slowly moving back to that man that is still staring at me. I know he heard every word I just said, they probably _all_ did even though I whispered. I don't know why, but somehow I expect him to react. I'm not disappointed. He winks at me, flashing me one of the most amazing smiles I've ever seen. But I don't want to deal with it. Frowning, I push off the wall. Walking past Ageha, then the man that seems to want more than I'm willing to give. I can't resist, shoving him out of the way roughly, I don't look back. 

Behind me, I can hear how the guy is quietly reprimanded by his boss, but I ignore it. Raising my hand to knock on my neighbor's door, I try to steel my nerves. It's not working so well. Knocking, I take a deep breath. The door is opened rather quickly, the young woman that has been living next door for almost two years beaming up at me, "There you are! I didn't know when you'd be home, but I'm really happy you're here right now," The door opens further, and her smile turns cheeky as she twirls a little pirouette, "What d'you think? Got a hot date tonight," Turning back to me, her big blue eyes hold a hopeful look in them. 

I smile softly, she's never going to grow up now is she? "Gorgeous, Hikari. Simply stunning." 

"Aww…" She pouts heavily, bringing one finger up to her chin, "I was going for _sexy_ …" 

Behind me, I can hear one of the 'movers' clear his throat – the one that had been leaning against the wall, "Mission accomplished, young lady." 

"Think so?!" Placing both hands on either side of the doorframe, Hikari leans forward, inadvertently giving the men in the hallway a gracious look into her cleavage. 

I shake my head a little at her almost childish innocence, "Hikari, I need my parcel. And after that…" I look up at Ageha, a helpless look in my eyes. Nodding he casually leans against the wall, giving me that slightly sad, brief smile that seems the best he can manage, "After that, we have to say good-bye Hikari. I'm moving, you see and –" 

" _Whaaaat?!_ " Lunging forward, she wraps her arms around my neck, hugging me so tight I can't breathe. Part of that is due to her breasts smothering me, part of it is due to the sheer volume of blonde locks that covers my face, some of it is due to my own tears, no doubt, "Irukaaaaa! You _can't_ leave! Who else is gonna help me look good for Boyfriend? I _need_ you!" 

Laughing softly, embarrassedly, I awkwardly pet her back, "Now, now… It's not like it's forever-goodbye…" 

Sniffing loudly, she releases me, much to my relief, "Promise?" Cocking her head, Hikari brings one finger up to her lips once more. 

"Eh… Sure. My…Eh, my parcel?" 

"First you give me your new address!" I'm not used to her being clever in any way, and so her sudden demand astounds me. Stammering, I try to explain that I forgot the address. Covering her cherry-painted lips, the girl giggles, "Oh Iruka, I'm so happy I'm not the only one who can be dumb sometimes! Tell you what, you come by for tea next Saturday, okay? You can give me the address then," Reaching into her apartment, she hands me a narrow, rectangular box, "Here you go. Now don't you forget sensei," Waving her finger in front of my face, she gives me an exaggerated wink, "Tea on Saturday. Don't forget your new address again!" And with that, the door closes in my face and I'm left to my own, confused thoughts once more. 

Turning back to Ageha and the team, I blink as the box is immediately lifted from my hands. The guy that had been leaning against the wall, the one that complimented Hikari, smiles briefly at me, before extending his hand, "Keys please, Iruka-sensei." 

Dumbfounded, I place them in his hand, blinking as immediately after all three of them disappear into my apartment. 

"We really have to go now, Iruka," Picking up my bag from where I'd dropped it during Hikari's assault on my personal space, Ageha turns for the stairs leading down and out of the apartment complex, "Are you coming?" 

"Eh… Yes! Yes, I'm coming," Quickly falling in step just behind him, I nervously fiddle with my fingers. 

"If you tell _that_ girl where you're going, you might as well broadcast it. You know that right?" 

"I know… I don't really intent to tell her…" Sighing, I bow my head, "She's just a girl that happened to live next door from me. I don't…" Clearing my throat, I try again, "Not like I really care about her…" 

Turning onto the street, Ageha maneuvers so he's walking next to me, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder, "Yes, you do. It's not a bad thing to care about people, you know. But right now, you have to do everything you can to stay safe. You can always go back later –" 

I snort, looking up at the other man, "There's not going to _be_ a later. You and I _both_ know it. I'm _never_ going to go back there," I smile weakly, "It's okay though. In about a month or so, she won't care as much anymore. And the way _she's_ going, in about a year or so, she's gonna be too busy with the new baby, the dead-end job and the bum-boyfriend to be able to think about me much…" 

"Want me to keep an eye on her?" Ageha's tone is serious and warm, but I softly shake my head. 

"It's no use. I've tried. She's never going to change…" Shaking my head a little, I brush his hand off my shoulder, straighten my back, "I don't want to think about it anymore. The past is in the past. From now on, I don't want to be reminded of the past _any_ more."


	12. Chapter 12

_**Author's Note:**_ So… This is a new chapter. And possibly the last for a bit. I'm working really hard on getting into college, so I don't have much time on the computer right now. I believe this piece was still unbeta'd, though I'm actually not sure. Stuff's a little hazy right now, sorry! But, here's a chapter at least. I hope you'll enjoy! Oh and, we're back from the flashback thingy from last chapter, and on to some smut. Smut is good. Smut makes me happy ^,^ 

I bow down in gratitude, for my amazing Beta: _Marina._ And also my trusty friend and step-in Beta, Letsrandom. You are beyond amazing, beyond wonderful and beyond every other synonym I could ever come up with. Even though… I don't really recall this chapter going through either of your Beta's xD

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ I do not own any of these characters, Kishimoto does. I only own my own creativity and _just a little courage.  
_

))O((

Just A Little Courage

))O((

Leaning over the paler, leaner form of my lover, I brush a few strands of hair away so I can place gentle kisses at the nape of his neck. My voice comes out rather sultry, "How are you feeling?" 

"Ah-hmmm… I'm good," It's barely more than a hoarse whisper, his body slowly moving beneath mine. Genma is on his knees, elbows already braced against the mattress as he grinds into my pelvis. But I'm still a little nervous. 

"Yeah? You think you're ready?" I try to sound teasing but as soon as my mouth opens I realize it sounds more insecure than anything. 

Genma chuckles softly, "Iruka _really,_ it'll be fine. I just…" Looking back over his shoulder his eyes search for mine, "I want to feel you, Iruka." 

Smiling back, I take myself in hand, softly stroking the supple skin of his thigh one more time before gently pressing up against his entrance. A low moan escapes delectable lips and Genma lets his head fall. He's panting heavily, his body rocking against mine. But I take care not to go too fast, hurrying now would result in hurting him, regardless of how much time we took before. 

As I slowly push in, for only a moment, I forget everything else. Only this moment exists. Only my twitching cock and this tight hole. _So_ tight. Moaning softly, my hands automatically search for something to touch. Soft skin meets my own and it reminds me that I'm here with the man that I've been dreaming about for years. The man that I love. Genma Shiranui. 

He moans too, a low, intoxicating moan. A moan that sounds like heaven. Finally, my stomach touches the clef of his ass, and I lean over a little to place gentle, barely there kisses on Genma's back. He's panting under me, no longer rocking back and forth. For a few more seconds, his body is rigid beneath mine, but then Genma finally relaxes, a soft, embarrassed chuckle in his voice as he whispers, "Ah… _God_ , you're big…" 

My voice is equally soft, "Is it too much?" I place soft, lingering kisses between his shoulder blades, hands gently running up and down his sides. 

"No… Just…" I can hear him swallow, relaxing even more as he turns his head to smile at me, "Go a little easy on me, okay?" 

Smiling back, I nod, "Of course, Genma. I wouldn't want to hurt you…" 

He chuckles lightly, "Might be too late," One hand gets untangled from the sheets, lifted to gently grab my own, "It feels so _good_ though…" Moaning softly, he rocks his hips a little, drawing a long moan from my throat. 

Smiling, I pull back, just a little, before pushing back in. Genma's back arches, sweat glistening on that beautiful pale skin. The soft sounds falling from his lips egg me on, and I pull back again, a little further, push back a little harder. Once more I pull back, once more my hips push forward. Harder still. I feel dizzy, lightheaded. Seeing stars explode behind the dark of my eyelids I let out a low moan, "Oh _fuck!_ " 

Genma's velvety inside is the tunnel to heaven, and I'm on the fast track toward heaven's gate. Feeling something familiar coil in my loins, I try to hold it off. I don't want this to be over yet, I don't want this feeling to end. 

Slowly, I become aware of Genma's hand covering my own, as we're pumping his hot flesh in time with my thrusts together. The feeling of his tight walls around me, his throbbing member under my hand, the sounds that fall off perfect lips, the light sheen of sweat covering his body – I am lost in Genma Shiranui. I can no more stop the waves crashing through me as I can stop loving this man, this perfect being. Collapsing atop him, I am only vaguely aware of Genma's orgasm. His member pulses in my hand, and his body goes limb. 

Panting, I try to lift myself off his body, but my strength has left me. My eyes close slowly, but fly back open as Genma chuckles, "Love the blanket, not so much in love with the fact that I can't turn around now…" 

Smiling softly, I try again. Gently extracting myself, I can hear Genma whimper softly, but he doesn't say anything. Rolling off him, I help my lover turn to his side as well. Gazing deep into Genma's eyes for a few seconds, I feel my lips twitch. I can barely manage to sound serious – even though I am – when I ask him if he's okay. Nodding, Genma smiles back, lips twitching like my own are. A few more seconds pass as we both try to contain ourselves, but as a quiet chuckle escapes Genma's lips, I can't hold back anymore either. Laughing, we wrap our arms around each other, and he buries his face in the crook of my neck. Genma's body shakes with uncontrollable laughter in my arms, and I'm wiping away tears. 

Finally, he moves away from me. Laying side by side, we just look at each other. Chuckles bubbling up every now and then. Genma's eyes shine with pure joy as he gently brings one hand up to cup my face, "Iruka…" 

Smiling, I can't resist placing a quick kiss on his palm and he chuckles again, repeating my name. A little confused, I frown just barely, "What?" 

"Stay with me, Iruka." 

I smile, "Only if you do the same." 

))O((

Sleepily, I stretch my arms out over my head. I'm not awake enough to open my eyes yet, so I roll over to my side, grabbing the blanket and pulling it over my head. I'm not sure what day it is, but the sun is up, and my alarm clock isn't incessantly ringing, so it's weekend. Probably. I'm too tired to think about it right now. Sighing contently, I curl myself into a little ball. I'm just going to sleep some more. Who cares that the morning sun is trying to tickle my eyelids? I have a blanket. Who cares that there's a cool breeze in my bedroom? I have a blanket. Smiling, I bury my face a little deeper into my pillow. 

Wait a minute… Sunlight? Breeze? Neither of those things are even _supposed_ to be in my bedroom! Shooting up, I throw the blanket off. Soft sounds are coming from the kitchen. There's _not_ supposed to be sounds coming from the kitchen! Jumping out of bed, I hurry trough my apartment, all but running into the kitchen. What the…? 

"Morning," Genma smiles softly, bringing his coffee mug up in a way that resembles a toast, "I didn't want to wake you up… Hope it's okay I grabbed some coffee," Suddenly looking confused, his eyes travel down my body, his tone attempting to hide his surprise, "You're naked…" 

Sheepishly following his gaze, I swallow hard. Well… That happened… "Eh… Yeah… I… There was… And then… I…" Swallowing once more, I shake my head, "I should get dressed…" Turning on my heels, I flee towards my bedroom. Genma! Of course! How the hell could I ever forget?! 

I freeze on the threshold to my bedroom. The curtains are open, the window cracked just an inch or so. _The curtains are open!_ No… No… No! This can't be happening! The curtains are open! The camera…! The camera can come in now! Please… Not again…  
I can feel myself sink to my knees. Tears falling down my cheeks, I wrap my arms tightly around myself. Please… Don't let this be real… The camera… That _person_ … Please, not again… 

"Iruka…?" Genma's voice is hesitant as the footsteps draw nearer through my living room, "Iruka, it's okay. I really didn't mean to – Oh, _shit!"_ The last few steps, he runs. Dropping to his knees, he slides the last foot or so towards me. Arms come around me as Genma's soothing voice whispers in my ear, "It's okay, I'm sorry. I'm really, really sorry. I didn't mean to sound harsh. I'm so sorry…" 

Shaking my head a little, I push him away, trying my hardest not to look at the window – so awkwardly bare – _or_ Genma – so awkwardly worried – I mumble, "The camera. The camera. It's coming, the camera…" I can't say any more, hugging myself tightly as I stare at Genma's knee. 

Muttering a curse under his breath, Genma gets to his feet, quickly moving through the bedroom he closes the curtains and the window, "I'm sorry, Iruka. I'm so, _so_ sorry… I wasn't thinking – god, that's not even an acceptable excuse… But it's true. I just… I'm an idiot. Please don't hate me, Iruka. I'm _so_ sorry…" 

Glancing up, I'm just in time to see him swallow hard. Genma looks distraught, hands up in his hair and a shocked expression on his face. A hint of tears mists his eyes just barely. Bare-chested, wearing nothing more than his pants, Genma keeps muttering on about how sorry he is, how he's an idiot for not realizing. I can't help it, for some insane reason… This is funny. Chuckling lightly, I push myself off the cold floor. As I walk towards him, Genma still won't stop apologizing. One tear escapes the corner of his eye, rolling down over an embarrassed blush. Smiling, I lightly place my finger over his lips, "Shh… It's okay. I'm not angry. You're not used to it, that's a _good_ thing, Genma. It's okay… If something happens… We'll deal with it, yeah? Together?" 

Nervously biting my lip, I watch as a smile breaks through on his face, "Together. I'm sorry, Iruka. I really am. And I will do whatever it takes to make it up to you…" 

I feel a smirk tug at my lips, "How good are you at flipping pancakes?"


	13. Chapter 13

_**Author's Note:**_ I am so deeply, terribly sorry for the long silence. You did not deserve that. I just had some personal stuff I had to take care of and actually, I still do. But I had this finished anyway, so I wanted to upload it for the amazing people that like reading what I have to write. 

I bow down in gratitude, for my amazing Beta: _Marina._ You are beyond amazing, beyond wonderful and beyond every other synonym I could ever come up with. 

_**Disclaimer:**_ I do not own any of these characters, Kishimoto does. I only own my own creativity and _just a little courage.  
_

))O((

Just A Little Courage

))O((

Days have passed, and not a single photograph, not a single note has surfaced. As I look out of the window in my classroom, a small smile tugs at my lips. 

"Iruka-sensei…?" 

Looking up, I find my students all looking at me expectantly. It's endearing, really. 

"Iruka-sensei, we finished our essays," All but grinning, he waves his paper in the air. 

"Yeah sensei, all done!" Smiling wide, Katana follows her classmate's example. 

I smile again, "All of you?" The response I get is a chorus of 'yeses' and paper's being waved around. My smile widens as I look at the clock, "Then how about we call it a day?" The resounding cheers are deafening. Really, like ten minutes make all the difference in the world… 

Getting up, I tell the class to leave their essays on my desk and exit the classroom in a quiet and orderly fashion. Hopefully they won't make _too_ much of a ruckus. As the children give me their best attempt at being quiet in the face of ten extra minutes of free time, my gaze drifts over to the window again. Somewhere out there is Genma. I've thought that so many times over the last four years, but now it's different. Now I know that he's thinking the same thing about _me_. 

Tonight, we're having dinner together again. Well, to be fair, we've had dinner together every day since our first date. It's like we don't even date anymore. We just rolled straight into this relationship. Sometimes, like right now, I almost wish we hadn't. I _like_ dating, doing new and exciting things, getting to know one another in the wackiest ways one can think of. I kinda like that. 

Not to say I don't like this, not at all. And today _is_ going to be new and exciting. Genma is cooking for me. At his place. Where I haven't been before yet. Why haven't I been there before…? Frowning a little, I try to remember. Right… That first date, we went to Genma's best friend's parents' restaurant. Ended up at my place. Stayed there the whole next day. Then, on Sunday, he picked me up after sleeping at his own house. Went to see a movie together, then had dinner. Yesterday I had to work. We'd agreed to meet at my favorite restaurant. But _today_ … 

Frowning, I try to recall what he said when he left on Saturday. Something about… A cat? Is that right? Honestly, I was so entranced by the way his lips moved I wasn't really paying attention to the words that came out. But I think he said 'cat'. Yeah, now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure of it. Genma has a cat. That's why he had to go home. To feed the cat. 

Sighing quietly, I pick up the essays that my students left behind in an unruly pile. Straightening the papers, I stare off into space. Genma… Genma Shiranui… I love him. I've always loved him. But I didn't even know _who_ I was in love with, not really. Do I know _now_? For the most part, I think. We've talked a _lot_ over the last few days. About our past, about what we want for the future, things we like, things we don't like… Maybe we're dating after all… It just feels so different from all the other times because this is _Genma_ , and we seem to be fitting together almost perfectly. 

He drinks mostly coffee, I drink mostly coffee. He likes cooking, I like cooking. He's gay, I'm gay – not unimportant. And, I feel my cheeks heating up, he likes big cocks, I _have_ a big cock. His sense of humor matches my own. He's protective, I feel a little unsafe all the time. All the time? No… Not anymore. I'm actually starting to feel… Safe. Maybe not all the time and I'm _certainly_ not opening my curtains any time soon, but… I think I at least don't always feel so scared anymore. 

"Iruka?" 

Spinning on my heels I feel the panic flaring up again. What was I _thinking_?! I'm still scared. Of _course_ I am. My life is one big mess! I have no reason to feel safe! How on earth could I think – Oh, it's Genma… "Hey… What are you doing here?" 

"Hmm," Coming into the classroom, he leans against the first desk, "Is it okay? Me showing up here, I mean." 

I chuckle involuntarily, "Of course, why wouldn't it be?" 

"I dunno… Maybe you don't want people to get any ideas in their head?" He sounds a little insecure, his fingers tracing the name that a student once carved into the wood. 

Smiling, I saunter over to where Genma stands, running my hands up his arms before gently cupping his face, "What kind of ideas would that be, Genma?" 

"Eh…" Suddenly chuckling, he blinks, "I was being stupid, huh?" 

"Kinda," Winking, I lean over for a quick kiss, startled as a young, bright voice interrupts us. 

"There! That's Iruka-sensei!" 

Quickly turning my eyes on the door, I frown lightly, "Officer, can I help you?" 

The man by the door smiles a little, "You don't remember me, do you?" 

"Eh…" Letting go of Genma, I take small step back as I study the man in the doorway. He looks to be around my own age, wearing the uniform of the Konoha police force. His light grey eyes and sandy brown hair spark some recognition in me, but I can't for the life of me remember where I've seen this man before. Confused, I shake my head a little. 

Smiling softly, he enters the classroom, throwing a glance back to see if the little girl – I'm pretty sure it was Nana, given her voice – has left, "It's fine. The last time we spoke was several years ago, after all. And you were rather troubled at the time. My name is –" 

"Ryouichi! _Now_ I remember! You work for Ageha!" Excited that I got it right, I beam at the other man. 

His smile widens, then turns sad, "Unfortunately, no. Ageha died a few months ago. I took over his position." 

"He died…? I didn't know…" Stumbling back a few steps, I lean against the desk, "If I'd known –" 

"Per his husband's wishes, none but immediate family were informed. But that's not why I'm here," Nodding at Genma – and I'm ashamed to admit I'd totally forgotten he was even _here_ – Ryouichi's tone is soft, "Is he aware of the circumstances?" 

I almost laugh, even after all these years, even after polishing up his looks and manners… Ryouichi is _still_ an ignorant fool. If Genma _didn't_ know, then this guy would have just hinted at a very private incident. Biting my lip to keep from laughing, I nod, "He knows. But if there's anything you want to discuss about it, I'd rather we didn't do this at work," Honestly, this guy has my _address_ , right? He's one of the _very_ few that can access it. Why didn't he come to my _apartment_? 

"I understand that. But I've been unable to reach you anywhere else." 

Oh right... All of the sudden I'm not always home anymore… 

"Do you have a little time? There is a teahouse just down the street, they have privacy booths." 

Sighing, I look up at Genma, "Are you coming too?" 

Genma chuckles, clearly ignoring Ryouichi's faint blush, "If you want me to. I guess I know what this is about, huh?" 

"Yeah… The reason I freaked out on you…" 

Nodding, Genma straightens, "If you want me to be there, I will. Have to admit, I'm a little curious…" 

And so we head to the teahouse. The three of us. In complete silence. Walking down the street in between the two men, I sigh quietly. Looking up at Genma, I pull a little face. He winks at me. Then I turn my gaze on Ryouichi, he gives me a comforting smile. I sigh again. I don't need to be _comforted_ , I need this _silence_ to end! Clenching my jaw, I wrack my brain for something – _anything_ – to talk about. Worrying the inside of my lip, I look up at the sky. Nothing comes to mind. 

"So… Ryouichi, was it?" Genma leans forward just a little, looking past me at the other man. 

The guy looks almost startled, "That's correct." 

"Genma Shiranui," Extending his hand, Genma smirks, "The boyfriend." 

My eyes fly open as my cheeks heat up. He said it! He actually _said_ it! 'Boyfriend'… I was too hesitant to call him that, too scared that Genma might not feel ready for it. Swallowing, I look up into his warm smile. I smile back, needing to remind myself that kissing him in the middle of the street _, while_ he's introducing himself to a police officer, might not be the best of moves. 

"Indeed you are…" Taking Genma's hand, Ryouichi smiles briefly. The smile doesn't reach his eyes though, and the whole thing looks a little sad. Like Ageha's smile always did. Come to think of it, Ageha looked about as tired as Ryouichi does too. Makes you wonder, doesn't it? 

"I just thought I'd set the record straight," Releasing the other man's hand, Genma tucks his own into his pocket, "You seemed inclined to ignore my existence…" 

"Not at all. I'm actually very happy," Again, that sad smile graces Ryouichi's face, "Even though I might not look it. Most people in Iruka-sensei's position retreat completely. I'm happy to see that he didn't." 

I'm right _here_ , you know… Pulling a little face, I decide to let it slide. But as we walk into the teashop, I let out a relieved sigh. Soon. Soon I'll know what's up. Ryouichi excuses himself for a minute, going over to arrange a privacy booth. Mercilessly chewing on my lip, I stand trembling. I'm nervous, anxious to find out why Ryouichi sought me out. 

A warm hand gently takes my own, and Genma gives me a comforting squeeze, leaning over a little, he mumbles, "Don't forget, protection is what I do best. And I'm pretty sure I do it better than _that_ guy…" 

A nervous chuckle escapes me, but still I feel the need to defend the police officer, whispering back, "Ryouichi isn't so bad, Genma…" 

"Oh, didn't say that," He winks, "I'm just _that_ amazing," As I chuckle again, Genma beams at me. 

"Alright, I got us a booth," Smiling briefly, Ryouichi motions for us to follow him. As we do so, Genma doesn't let go of my hand. It brings forth a few logistical problems, as there isn't much room to maneuver to begin with, but his hand around my own also offers me comfort, so I don't let go either. 

As we sit down, the waiter immediately shows up, and we each order a cup of coffee. Bowing politely, the waiter closes the booth. Expectantly, I turn my eyes on Ryouichi. 

He clears his throat before folding his hands on the table. Taking a deep breath, his eyes turn towards me, "Late Sunday night, officers from the Minority Harassment Taskforce arrested a man who had snuck into one of our protégé's apartments. He currently remains in questioning, however –" 

As a polite knock on the door to our booth sounds, Ryouichi immediately stops talking. Reaching out, he slides the door open himself, accepting our order with a quiet 'thank you'. After putting the tray down on the table, he closes the door once more. Genma silently passes the coffee cups around. Seemingly automatically dropping a sugar cube in mine before handing it to me. I thank him with a quick smile, before turning my attention back to Ryouichi. Genma remembers how I like my coffee, great. But this is more important right now. 

"As I was saying…" Ryouichi blinks, trying to get his thoughts back together, "Right, this individual currently remains in questioning. But so far we have evidence linking him to three separate cases, as well as verbal admission that there are at least two more. Now," Raising his hand slightly, Ryouichi silently asks me to stay quiet for a little longer. It's difficult, but I manage somehow, "We have no evidence linking him to you, nor has he admitted as much. But the way he works is eerily similar to what you've encountered, and he's been at this for at least that long, so we can reasonably assume that there _might_ be a connection." 

"So you're saying he can open his curtains again?" Genma's tone is even, but I can distinctly hear the relief hidden away in his voice. 

Blinking, Ryouichi turns his gaze towards Genma before looking back at me, "By all means! I had no idea you still kept them closed…" Frowning, he rubs his forehead, his tone much quieter, "Though I should've expected it, I guess…" 

Feeling hurt, I swallow, "What the hell is _that_ supposed to mean…?" 

"Eh?" Turning his head a little, Ryouichi glances up at me, a confused expression on his face. But then, understanding starts to dawn and he straightens his back as he smiles at me briefly, "Please don't take this the wrong way Iruka-sensei, but you're… Gentle. You're one of those rare guys that comes to us for help, and then proceeds to _actually do what we suggest_. You didn't yell at us, you didn't ramble off a list of things you'd like to do to the guy should we manage to catch him, you didn't resist the move, or us helping you move your stuff, you just… Worked with us. You're not the kind of guy who goes out looking for vengeance, are you?" 

"Not really… I mean, what good would that do? There is no-one to exact vengeance _on._ Not to mention the fact that me killing him wouldn't really change anything. He'd be off the streets, yeah. But…" Sighing, I stare down at my coffee, "Even after what he did… He doesn't deserve something like that. I'd rather see him get locked up, and actually get a chance to _reflect_ …" 

"Mandatory therapy," Again Ryouichi smiles briefly, "It's part of the program. But that's just the thing. You didn't get _angry_ so much, as you were scared. I should've probably realized that wouldn't have gone away in a few years time. Ageha would've realized. I'm just his sorry-ass replacement. I'm sorry." 

Shaking my head just a little, I take a small sip of my coffee, "I'm sure you're doing just fine, Ryouichi…" As a small sigh escapes me, I realize that's about all the support I can offer the man right now, "I guess this means I still shouldn't get my hopes up, huh?" 

"Correct. We're currently doing a handwriting analysis. After that, I should be able to tell you more." 

Next to me, Genma shifts, "Then why didn't you wait until you had something concrete to tell Iruka? Why show up with barely anything at all?" 

"Ageha would've wanted it this way. He would always tell me to be as open as possible, to not withhold any information that might help people find even the slightest sliver of peace," Taking a sip of his own coffee, Ryouichi is quiet for a few seconds. When he speaks again his tone is soft, reminiscent of Ageha's, "Iruka-sensei, in the years since we last saw each other, did this person ever contact you again?" 

Shaking my head a little, I look up, "Doesn't mean I feel any safer, Ryouichi. If I did –" Looking away, I bite back my tears. Memories are flooding my mind. The notes, the photographs. The indescribable fear I felt when I realized my curtains were open, "If I did, I wouldn't be living in the dark…" 

"I get it," Emptying out his coffee cup, Ryouichi stands, "I will keep you posted of any and all developments. If you feel it's been too long, don't hesitate to come by the security office. Just ask for me, okay?" 

As I nod, he takes his leave. The second the door closes behind Ryouichi, Genma throws his arm around me, pulling me tight against his body. His faint cologne somehow makes even this small booth feel like home and I push my face against his shoulder. Quietly crying, I can only hope that it really is all over now.


	14. Chapter 14

_**Author's Note:**_

I bow down in gratitude, for my amazing Beta: _Marina._ You are beyond amazing, beyond wonderful and beyond every other synonym I could ever come up with.

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ I do not own any of these characters, Kishimoto does. I only own my own creativity and _just a little courage.  
_

))O((

Just A Little Courage

))O((

Genma´s cat is a friggin´ _monster._ I swear that thing is about the size of a donkey! Okay, that _may_ have been a little exaggerated, but still. That thing is _huge_ … 

On the way over, Genma had ´warned´ me, telling me that his cat was kinda big and ferocious-looking, but that he really was very sweet. But now I'm standing only a few feet away from the thing, and 'sweet' is nowhere in my list of thoughts about it. 

Chuckling lightly, Genma motions to the beast, "So… Iruka, this is Mittens. You can pet him if you want…" Winking at me, he moves over to the kitchenette that's on the far wall of his apartment, "Coffee?" 

"Eh… Yes, please," Taking a step to follow my boyfriend – gosh, I love calling him that in my mind, I should try it out loud – I find my path blocked by… _Mittens_. The not-so-little monster has arched its back, hairs standing up as it clearly attempts to stare me down. Swallowing hard, I take a small step back, but this doesn't seem to please the creature and Mittens teeth are bared as he hisses at me. 

Looking up at the frightening sound, Genma chuckles again. Walking over to pick the cat up, he pats Mittens on the head, "Now, now… Don't tease him like that. Iruka's a great guy, don't be _mean_ to him…" The cat purrs loudly, pushing his ugly head up against Genma's stroking hand. But his eyes stay trained on me. One is pure white, a scar running from the missing ear all the way to Mittens' jaw – probably blind in that eye. But the other is yellowish and looks almost – dare I say it – demonic. 

Taking a deep breath, I inch closer. But the second I move, Mittens is hissing at me again, nails out and ready to attack. Now look, I may not be a huge cat lover, but this is ridiculous. I've always gotten along with animals, and I've never before sparked hate on the first encounter – or _ever._ There _has_ to be something wrong with this cat, right? Right?! Please tell me it's not me? This is _Genma's_ cat. He clearly loves the thing! But there is seriously no way this is ever gonna go very well… 

" _Mittens…!_ " Surprised and slightly disappointed, Genma looks at me, "I swear I've never seen him like this… I'm just… Gonna put him in the bedroom real quick, okay?" There is a sad yet hopeful look on his face, clearly Genma is hoping that this problem is just going to go away on its own, but I don't see how. 

"Yeah… Okay," Sighing softly, I see him retreat into what is apparently Genma's bedroom. Is it wrong to feel slightly disappointed at the fact that I will probably not get to be inside that room anytime soon? I know I told him I'm not the kind of guy that sleeps around at all, but… We _did_ sort of have sex on our _first date_ … And I'd kinda like a repeat performance… 

"I'm really sorry, Iruka. He's never reacted like that to anyone before… When I took him from Nobu –" 

"Wait," Confused, I frown, "You said it was _your_ cat…" 

"Yeah… He is. Been here for years. Nobu's wife is allergic, so…" Shrugging, Genma smiles a little awkwardly, "Anyway… Let's not talk about how much my cat seems to hate you anymore. I'm sure we can come up with a topic that's more fun, like…" Smiling softly, he walks over to me, pulling the senbon out from between his lips before laying his arms over my shoulders. His face is so close to my own his breath tickles my lips as he breathes, "How much I love kissing you…" 

His lips touch my own ever so softly. Without thinking, I wrap my arms around his waist, pulling Genma in closer as I press my lips a little firmer against his. Chuckling lightly, he parts his lips and I waste no time slipping my tongue in between them. The arms that had been loosely dangling on my shoulders wrap around me firmly but gently as Genma presses his entire body up against me. Soft moans sound through the otherwise quiet room, but I couldn't begin to decipher whose they are. Probably both of us. 

His body pressed up against mine feels amazing, the kiss we share is something of dreams, the cat meowing in the bedroom is – wait, what? That's not right… Pulling back a little, I pull a little face at Genma, "Can't you maybe put him outside…?" 

Sighing, he shakes his head a little, "You noticed the scar on his head, right? Mittens gets into a lot of fights… If I let him out, he's probably gonna kill the neighbor's cat." 

Wow… And he described that thing as ' _sweet_ '?! Sighing softly, I retreat out of our embrace, doing my very best to force an encouraging smile on my face, "How about that coffee then, Genma?" 

He nods, turning back towards the kitchen. His shoulders slightly slumped, his posture clearly defeated, "Yeah… Coffee…" 

Suppressing a sigh, I sink down on Genma's worn leather couch, "You know… It's not that bad, right?" 

"What? That my cat hates you or that – eh…" I can hear his teeth clatter against the senbon, "Never mind…" 

Confused, I shift so I can look at him but Genma is standing at the counter with his back toward me, "No, please. Just tell me…" 

Genma sighs, resting his hands on the counter and dropping his head. I can hear him take a deep breath before finally turning around, "I really don't mean to imply anything about you here or anything but… I just… I guess I was kind of hoping to, eh… Show you the bedroom?" His voice is quiet, and he clearly doesn't dare to look at me. It's kind of… _Cute_. 

I look away for a quick second, my own cheeks burning, "Not like you're the only one, Genma…" 

Grabbing our coffee, Genma quickly makes his way over to the couch. He sets both cups on the low table before dropping down beside me, a sparkle in his eyes, "I could kick the cat out? Who cares, right? Getting laid is _so_ much more important," He's clearly attempting to keep a semi-straight face, but his lips are twitching. 

Biting my own lip, I join in, "What's another dead kitty, right? Getting off, that's what it's all about." 

A weird noise erupts from Genma, "Who cares about pussies anyway –" He manages to squeeze out before doubling over in laughter. 

Leaning against him, I laugh as well. Seems the ice has been broken once again. A content hum escapes from my lips as I easily slip into a comfortable position against Genma. His arm comes around me and a quick kiss is placed atop my head. 

"You know… I'm really happy you came into that bar to find me, Iruka." 

"Hmm-mm, me too," Smiling up at him, I snuggle up a little closer, "I'm really happy you followed me out, Genma." 

His tone is soft, warm and laced with a hint of chuckles, "I'm really happy you kissed me, Iruka." 

I smile wide, "I'm really happy you kissed me back." 

"Yeah?" Genma chuckles lightly, "What _else_ was I gonna do? Let you go? I was pretty much convinced I was dreaming at first, but… I don't really intend on ever letting you go again, Iruka." 

"Oh?" A naughty smile spreads across my face, "And what if I _want_ you to?" 

"Hmm… Going training with Gai until I croak sounds like a real option…" 

" _Genma!_ " Swatting at his stomach, I stare up at him in exasperation. His smile gives it away though, and I chuckle as I rest my head back against his shoulder, "You're the worst…" 

"Yeah?" Chuckling, he pulls me tight against him for a brief moment, "I may be the worst, but you're one _hell_ of a puzzle to figure out. Who fucking walks into a bar only to sneak away again before the other guy has collected enough of his brain cells to have a real conversation? Who just up and _kisses_ the guy that's been in love with him for ages and then attempts to flee the scene? And while we're on the subject, how come you just _assumed_ I would be drunk? I was drinking out of a coffee cup, no alcohol on my breath, I'd _like_ to think I was behaving, eh… semi-rationally?" 

"You were…" Smiling, I breathe the scent of his cologne, "I was just too nervous to notice any of it. Like I said, I hardly realized what I was doing…" 

I can feel how Genma nuzzles my hair, breathing in the scent that isn't even _half_ as pleasant as his own, "I'm happy about that, you know. If you'd been thinking straight, you would've never come up to me and I would still be going through the motions, hoping that maybe one day you'd notice me but too realistic to think that could ever actually happen. I'd still go out with the guys almost every night, sitting there sipping my coffee, wondering when someone's finally going to do something so stupid they're going to get seriously injured, hoping I don't have to pick up the pieces when they do… I'm really glad those days are over now." 

A soft smile tugs at my lips, I'm happy that he's telling me all this. But it's also a little funny. Chuckling quietly, I look up at Genma, "Let's get one thing perfectly clear first, okay? I _never_ think straight. If I _did_ ," My hand glides over his chest, his abdomen, all the way down, making him whimper ever so slightly, "All of this, would pretty much be lost on me. Furthermore, nobody's forcing you to 'hang out with the guys', right? You told me yourself that it'd be okay if you didn't go." 

"It would be, but what kind of social life would I have then?" 

Chuckling a little embarrassedly, I look away for a second, "One resembling mine? Where you only talk to your friends once a month at best?" 

I can feel Genma shiver, "No thanks. I need a little more to keep me going, no offense." 

None taken, Genma. None taken. I nestle myself tightly against him. I'm kind of done talking for now. I just want to be near him. Smell his unique scent, feel his body against my own. Genma really is a dream come true. Not just the fact that he's, well… _Genma,_ the guy that I've been crushing on ever since I saw him naked at the baths, but his personality as well. He's funny and caring and sweet. He's tough and protective and not afraid of commitment. He's easy-going and sexy and… _Moaning_? 

"Iruka, seriously… I'm very much fine with just cuddling – really, I _love_ it – but… Could you please make clear if you're _just_ cuddling or if you're daring me to find another place to dump Mittens? Because you seem to be _really_ aiming for bedroom activities here and… I just… Could you maybe… I mean…" A frustrated sound rings through the room and the next thing I know is that my hand is being lifted – rather gently, given Genma's obvious situation – away from his groin. 

"Oh my god… I'm sorry, I really didn't even _notice_ …!" Laughing, I pull myself away from him, leaning against the armrest instead. 

"Clearly…" His mock-wry smile quickly gets replaced by real chuckles as Genma attempts to – slightly awkwardly – shift on the couch in an effort to look unaffected. Like _that's_ gonna work… 

Cocking my head, I study him intently for a moment, "Could you…?" 

"Could I what?" He almost sounds a little grumpy – a clear side-effect from what he apparently views as an embarrassing situation. So I try to be patient. Not like I've never had to be patient with anyone before… 

"Dump Mittens somewhere else…" Calmly picking up my coffee, I take a small sip. It's gotten cold by now, but my mouth is so dry I can't really care. 

I've averted my eyes so I don't see it – but I can _hear_ Genma swallow, "You really want that, don't you?" 

"I wouldn't be asking about it if I didn't, Genma. I understand that Mittens is important to you –" 

"He's my cat. You're my _boyfriend_. As long as it doesn't hurt him in any way… I'd prefer to do what _you_ want…" 

Nervously biting my lip, I look up, "Is it what _you_ want?" 

He smiles at me, "What? Fuck? Abso _lutely_." 

Looking up, I smile back, "Good. Because I absolutely want to too…"

))O((

Mittens is _clearly_ not pleased. I couldn't care less. He's in the bathroom, together with his litter box, food and water. Toys, snacks, everything he could ever hope for. But mostly, he's behind that door. From my place on the bed – leaning back on my elbows – I watch Genma pull the door to the bathroom shut. Turning to me, he gives me a happy smile. Alone at last. In the bedroom. While Genma was walking back and forth, making sure his little monster had everything he could _possibly_ need – probably in an effort to keep the damn thing quiet – I made sure to check out my boyfriend's bedroom a little. Nothing too obvious, of course. I didn't go through his nightstand drawers or something – even though I'd kind of _like_ to – but I _did_ sort of check my surroundings. 

It's a little strange, really. I sort of expected his bedroom to match his living room – dated furniture in predominantly brown and beige colors. But I was wrong. Genma's double bed is simple in design, painted white to match his nightstands and the closet that's beside the door. There's a fuzzy black and white checkered rug on the simple wooden floors and his bed linens are red with a few black accents. The white chest at the end of his bed also has a red cushion on top, and the whole scene is completed by red and black striped curtains. Curtains that he is now closing. For me, probably. A smile spreads on my face. I really love how he tries to think of all the little things that would help me feel safe. 

Still standing by the window, Genma turns towards me, "Is this okay?" 

I shift on the bed so I can look at him. I'm on the side where the door to the bathroom is, Genma's on the other side of the bed by the window. Cocking my head a little, I smile, "Absolutely perfect," He smiles back at me and I wink, "Just like you." 

And embarrassed chuckle shakes him and Genma rubs the back of his head a little uncomfortably, "I'm nowhere near perfect, Iruka. I just happen to be the right kind of crazy for you, I guess…" 

Beaming up at him, I inform Genma that he just walked right into my little trap, "Which would make you absolutely perfect. For me at least." 

As he shakes his head just a little, Genma chuckles. Apparently deciding against arguing with a good thing, he walks towards the bed. As he climbs on it, crawling towards me with a look on his face that makes me want to moan in anticipation, Genma suddenly freezes. Sighing, I turn my gaze on the bathroom door, pulling an angry face at it. Next to me, I can hear Genma muttering, "Damned cat. He's just gonna have to deal with it, got everything he needs in there…" 

I have to suppress a chuckle, turning back to my lover just in time to press my lips against his. I agree, Mittens will just have to deal with it. Wrapping my arms around Genma, I press myself up against him tightly. I want to feel his – well, let's just say I want to feel his _body_. All of it. 

As we finally break for air, Genma pushes me off him just a little, just enough to rid the both of us of our shirts. Bare-chested, he sits on his knees, leaning back a little as his eyes examine my body. I watch as he licks his lips in clear anticipation, his gaze sinking ever lower. Swallowing hard, I try not to think about how this is making me feel a little uncomfortable. I've just never had _anyone_ look at my crotch with anything other than hesitation before. And _certainly_ no-one has ever hinted at wanting to give me a blowjob. I mean, I've _had_ a few, but in retrospect… Those were more than likely dares. Most of them at least. I know my first boyfriend just wanted to make me feel really good – that was _before_ he basically gagged, obviously. 

Clearly oblivious to the thoughts that are swirling around in my head, Genma's tone is soft and hoarse, "Iruka… We've sort of forgone the condom at this point last time, do you mind if we do that again?" 

Blinking, I try to capture his eyes, but Genma won't look up, "Eh… No…? I mean… If you're okay with that. I promise I don't have anything to give you." 

Chuckling, Genma finally lifts his gaze, "I already figured. You're not irresponsible, Iruka. But usually… Let's just say I don't forgo condoms till… Well, not for a few months at least. But… With you…" 

"I know. It almost feels like we've been together at _least_ that long…" Sighing softly, I study Genma's face as he nods, "And… Not to rain on your parade or anything, but… I'm not used to walking around with a few condoms in my pocket, and I'm pretty sure that size-wise…" 

Genma smiles briefly before finishing my sentence, "Mine wouldn't fit. Which also means that… Eh…" 

"I switch. I'm fine with either. Though _very_ happy I _can_ actually top with you…" 

Coming a little closer, he nuzzles the crook of my neck, "I switch too. Depending on my mood. Though, with _you_ … I think I'd prefer to bottom more often. Is that okay?" 

Is he being serious? Of _course_ it's okay! Nodding, I wrap my arms around him, feeling him chuckle once more. 

"That happy about it, huh? Good. I'll make sure to stock up on your size," Pulling away just enough to look me in the eyes, Genma winks, "Just in case." 

Slipping out of my hold completely, Genma moves to sit on the edge of the bed. Motioning for me to take my pants off, he leans back on his hands, watching me. A nervous giggle escapes me, "You know… I honestly can't remember a time when someone wanted me to take my pants off for any reason other than flipping me over…" 

Genma smiles reassuringly, "Shame. You deserve much better, Iruka. I hope you realize that," His gaze is piercing for a few seconds, before he averts his eyes. His tone warm as he continues, "Would you rather I don't look?" 

"No… it's fine. It just occurred to me, is all," Smiling apologetically, I start undoing my button and zipper. His eyes are back on me and I can't help it, I'm starting to feel a little hot. Not sure if that's from embarrassment or lust, I decide to just keep going, lifting my hips off the bed to slide my pants down. 

I fall down. In retrospect, I've been sitting in some weird and slightly awkward position for a while now. Both my legs are asleep – so much so that they're completely numb. Moving my hips up meant becoming _so_ unstable I toppled over and landed on my back. I suppose it could've been worse, I'm still on the bed after all… My head's on the pillow… No-one got hurt… 

"Iruka?" Genma's concerned face appears above mine, "Are you alright? What happened just now?" 

Feeling my cheeks heat up, I look away. Chuckles bubbling up in my voice, "My legs are asleep. I didn't notice, so when I tried to sit up…" 

Smiling softly, Genma places a quick kiss on my forehead, "You're okay though, yeah?" 

"Absolutely fine," I chuckle, "Just embarrassed…" 

Smiling once more, Genma slowly captures my lips, his hands softly roaming my upper body. Apparently he's decided that if I'm okay, there's no use in talking about my embarrassing little mess-up. I couldn't agree more. Pulling back just a little, he mumbles against my lips, "This okay?" 

Smiling, my voice is a mere breath, "Yes. _Extremely_ okay…" 

He chuckles, trailing soft kisses along my jaw, "Extremely, huh? Then how about this?" Without warning, Genma moves. Downward he goes, in one fluent motion. As his head lines up with my cock though, he shoots me a self-conscious look, "Iruka… Don't take this the wrong way, but…" Swallowing nervously, his expression turns a little anxious, "I'm going to need to get a little practice in before I can handle all of you…" 

Shrugging lightly, I smile, "Then don't. Just… You know…" 

"Oh, I'll make you feel good. Trust me. You just lie back and –" 

"Yeeeeeooooooooowwwwwww!" 

Lying on his side, his head resting on my stomach, lips _so_ close to my aching cock, Genma sighs. He lifts his head just a little, frowning at the bathroom door, "Oh, _shut up_ ," Somehow, I just _know_ he's rolling his eyes, even though I can't actually see, but apparently he's decided to ignore any further outbursts from Mittens. 

As I feel something warm and wet covering my throbbing member, a low moan escapes me. This

already feels _so_ good! I can't focus on anything else anymore, I can't even hear that stupid cat…


	15. Chapter 15

**_Author's Note:_** I know, I know… I should just quit college and start refocusing on my fics already…. Trouble is, I'm not getting paid to do this. I will, however, eventually get paid after I finish college. Maybe I'm being a little optimistic about it…. :P

 ** _Disclaimer:_** I do not own any of these characters, Kishimoto does. I only own my own creativity and _just a little courage._

))O((

Just A Little Courage

))O((

Genma was right, that truly _was_ amazing. As I lay spread-eagled on the bed, panting and sweating and just generally trying really hard to hold on to that feeling that is fading so quickly it almost feels like it was never there at all, Genma shifts to lay beside me. I know that he's smiling, even though my eyes are closed, "Iruka…"

The quiet whisper makes me open my eyes to look him in the eye, but I don't speak yet.

"Iruka… I love you," His hand comes up to cup my face ever so gently, it makes me smile even wider.

"I love you too," I _don't_ love your cat very much, but you can't help that the creature seems to hate my guts. Neither can I. Mittens is just weird. Loud and weird. Genma seems to understand though, his smile dropping a little as he whispers once more.

"I'm sorry about him… I really don't know what else to do…"

Well, that makes two of us. I sigh softly, "Let's just ignore him. He's fine in there, just wants to get out."

"Yeah…" Genma pulls a little face, "I've never known him to be so loud about anything, though…"

Shrugging, I decide I don't want to talk about this anymore. So I turn to my side, wrapping one arm around my lover and gently pressing my lips against his. I'm ignoring that stupid cat and that's the end of it. Genma seems to agree with me, pressing his lips tighter against mine as he presses his entire body up against me. Which makes me suddenly aware of the fact that he's still wearing his pants. I don't want him to still be wearing his pants. I want him to take them off and… Well, fuck me. So I gently push away, fingers fiddling with the hem of his pants as I speak, "Genma… Take them off."

He chuckles, " _You_ take them off."

Smiling, I take his cue, opening his pants before sliding them down, much like the last time we were on a bed together. But unlike the last time, neither one of us is really in the mood for games or teasing. I can tell by the way Genma's wiggling under my hands, by the way his breathing speeds up just a little as I slide the fabric down.

"Iruka…" Genma's tone is hoarse, almost demanding, "I know this is only our second time but… Could we skip the ceremony and just…" Looking up, I'm just in time to watch him swallow, "I'm not saying 'skip the necessary stuff' but –"

"We're both horny and neither one of us is in the mood for playing around right now," Smiling, I cock my head a little, "You read my mind on that one, you know?"

"Yeah?" Genma seems carefully hopeful, "You don't mind?"

Still smiling, I shake my head, "Not one bit. Just one thing though… I kinda want to see your face…"

Smiling wide, Genma takes my shoulders, carefully flipping us over so that I'm laying on my back with him leaning over me, "Iruka Umino," He chuckles, "Would you please stop reading my mind?"

I bite my lip to keep from laughing out loud, my eyes following Genma's every move as he reaches into his nightstand, taking out the 'necessary stuff' before turning back to me. I can feel my teeth sink deeper into my lip as he quickly slips on the condom before pouring some lube on his fingers and shifting slightly for a better reach. As he swiftly gets down to business, occasionally asking if something feels alright, I can feel my mind slowly going blank once more. I'm aware of what he's doing down there and it's not like I don't respond or anything – but all other thoughts have dissipated from my mind. It's a little strange to me. I can't really remember the last time I managed to completely relax like this. Did I ever? I'm honestly not sure. I can't remember. All I know is that this is _amazing_ and I could not be happier than I am right now.

In a way, Genma is hurrying a little. Much more so than I did only a couple of days ago. But I don't care. I like this too. Last time, that was getting to know each other even though we felt pretty horny. This… This actually is just pure lust. I don't really understand it, but I feel this… _Need_ , to just be close right now. I don't want to think, I don't want to talk, I just want to feel him. I'm pretty sure Genma realizes this, but I'm not sure if he's just working off my energy, or if he really feels the same deep down inside. I kind of have the feeling that it's mostly me, and he's going along with it. Though to be honest, he doesn't seem to mind at all…

"You ready?" His voice is hoarser than I've ever heard it before – I think it's the sexiest thing I've heard in my entire life. Taking a deep breath, I smile wide. Nodding, I spread my legs a little further. I can't wait, and apparently, neither can Genma.

Within no time at all, I can feel him pressing up against me. Happily closing my eyes, I moan as I feel him slide in. Moan even louder as he shifts a little inside me. My body starts to move on its own, following Genma's rhythm, until we're one sweaty mess of tangled limbs and I don't even know where I stop and Genma begins. It doesn't matter anyway. In this moment, we're one.

Our pace quickens, the feverishness of our love-making reaching its peak. Panting heavily, I arch my back, one more good thrust is all I need. Just. One. More… Crying out, I see lights exploding behind my eyes. I'm not even aware of Genma's orgasm this time, all I know it that my body spends itself in one deliciously glorious moment of perfection before my world goes black.

))O((

"That. Was. _Amazing_ …" Genma's tone is filled with wonder as he turns his head to look at me. We're laying side by side on our backs and as I stare up at the ceiling, I smile wide.

"I thought we said no more mind-reading?" There is a slight tease in my tone, but I'm actually just too happy right now to put much emphasis on it.

"I kinda like it though," Rolling over to his side, Genma props his head up with his hand, elbow resting in between the two pillows. He's so close I can feel his body heat, but we're not touching, "Means we're in sync."

Yes, yes it does. And I couldn't be happier about it. Actually, I couldn't be happier right now _period_. Even Mittens has stopped his annoying whining and the room is filled with the scent of sex and Genma. Lazily bringing up my hand, I let it ghost over his chest, fondling his nipples a little with no clear idea of what I'm doing or where I'm going with this. Genma chuckles lightly but lets me be, silently allowing me my time.

After a little while, I drop my hand, a slight frown on my face, gaze still lingering on the ceiling, "Do you think that's the guy? That they caught him?"

"Ryouichi you mean?" He doesn't even seem surprised that I brought this up. Of course not, Genma knows me, probably better than anyone. And in so little time!

"Hmm-mm…"

"I don't know. All he said was that it _could_ technically be him. And if it _is_ , wouldn't he have copped to it by now? I mean, they can link him to three different cases, and he's already admitted to two more, right?"

I hesitantly nod. I got a feeling that I know where Genma is going with this and that I'm not gonna like it very much…

"His penalty isn't going to get any higher by admitting to his crimes now. If anything, they can cut him a deal because he was honest. Given that situation –"

 _"_ _Genma!_ " Shooting up, I throw him an angry look, "Could you please _stop_ playing Devil's advocate for a minute and realize that I _need_ it to be him?"

Sighing, he rolls his back, throwing an arm over his eyes, "I know, Iruka. I'm just asking you to please not get your hopes up. Ryouichi seems like a nice enough guy, but his detective skills sure need some work. Of course, his taskforce is horribly understaffed, his resources are pathetically limited and all his investigations have to be kept under wraps at all times, so his hands are pretty much tied…"

"How do you know all this…?" Sighing quietly, I lay back down. Genma calmly laying out the facts like this doesn't exactly help me find peace in Ryiouchi's words. _'_ _I will keep you posted of any and all developments.'_ What if there's nothing to tell? What if his pathetically limited recourses and his horribly understaffed taskforce never find out who did this to me? What if –

"Iruka… Don't get all panicky about this. I told you I would protect you, didn't I? I promised you that I would keep you safe. And I _will_ ," Resting on his elbow, Genma tries to capture my gaze, but I look away, "I _will_ see to it that this guy gets what he deserves. Somehow."

"Whatever…" Sighing, I push myself up to sit, reaching for my pants, I pull a little face, "First of all, can we please not talk about this anymore? Not until I've heard the definitive from Ryouichi at least?"

"Sure… Anything you want…" Getting up too, Genma is clearly a little upset. But I try to ignore it. I can't really be that bad of a person for wanting to hold on to a little hope, now can I?

"Secondly…" Chuckling softly, I try to put the previous conversation out of my head all together, "Do you have like a tissue or something? I don't want to disposition Mittens again by insisting on a shower when I don't really need one…"

"Ah, of course," Reaching past me, he fumbles around in his nightstand drawer for a few seconds before fishing out a pack of wet wipes, "There ya go," As he hands me the pack, Genma nods ever so slightly. I take it as an acceptance of the silent agreement not to talk about what happened earlier today anymore. Nodding back, I take the offered item and proceed to clean myself up as best I can.

"Oh and thirdly," Looking up at Genma who's picking up his own pants, I smile a little naughtily, "You _promised me dinner…"_

"Hungry, huh?" Reaching out to grab one of the wipes to clean himself off, Genma smiles at me, "I'd actually planned this whole elaborate thing, but… If I have to do all that now, it's gonna take at least another two hours or so before dinner is ready. So… I can make something quick now and do the other thing tomorrow?" Pulling a little face, he adds, "Maybe it'd be better if I bring everything over to your place then…"

Two pairs of eyes find themselves drawn towards the bathroom door, and I nod, "Yeah, that might be better… Oh, wait!" Sighing, I pull my pants up with all the dignity I can muster, "I have parent-teacher conference tomorrow night. And I will for the rest of the week… Wednesday to Friday, both the parents of the children that are currently enrolled in the Academy _and_ the parents of those who _wish_ to attend are welcome. It's sort of an open house thing that the new Headmaster installed. There's been a drop in the applicants for three years straight now, so…" I shrug a little uncomfortably, "I won't actually have time again until Saturday. I'm sorry, I totally forgot to tell you about it because I'm not used to _having_ someone to tell about it…"

"It's okay, Iruka," Smiling reassuringly, Genma throws an arm around me, "But don't you still need to eat? We could go out for a quick bite?"

"No…" My sigh sounds defeated, "All the sensei eat together, it's more effective this way because no one can stay out too long…"

"Okay, then I cook for you on Saturday, no problem," After a quick hug, Genma lets go of me, heading to the door. I sigh one last time, wishing things were different, but follow him nonetheless.

"Wednesday to Friday I won't be home till pretty late, we could hang out but the next day I still gotta go to work again, so…"

"So maybe I only come by on Friday? We could talk a little, go to bed early and have the entire Saturday to ourselves?" Opening his fridge, Genma inspects its contents, "How does Gyudon sound?"

"Great," Smiling, I walk over to him and give him a quick hug from behind, "So you're staying over on Friday then?"

"Hmm-mm… I could ask Nobu to feed Mittens for me and stay the weekend. If you want to, that is…"

Stepping back, I watch Genma get to work, "That would be great."

))O((

Preparing dinner took a while, mostly because I just couldn't keep my hands to myself and kept interrupting Genma with quick hugs and kisses. But the end result was still delicious. Now, as we're washing the dishes together, I can't help but smile. Not that I like doing dishes so much, but I'm standing next to Genma, feeling like this will be my reality from now on. Who cares if the guy Ryouichi caught isn't the one that harassed me all those years ago? Whoever that was has never contacted me since. And now I have Genma on my side as well. You know what? First thing I'm going to do when I get home is open the curtains. Throwing a glance at the window, I pull a little face. Correction, I'm going to do that in the morning. It's already dark outside.


	16. Chapter 16

_**Author's Note:**_ Here´s another chapter for my dear unreviewing readers, lol.

I bow down in gratitude, for my amazing Beta: _Marina._ You are beyond amazing, beyond wonderful and beyond every other synonym I could ever come up with.

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ I do not own any of these characters, Kishimoto does. I only own my own creativity and _just a little courage.  
_

))O((

Just A Little Courage

))O((

Waking up in my own bed is a great thing. Waking up without Genma is a little bit of a bummer. But after what we did to Mittens yesterday, we both decided it would be better this way. He needs some time with his owner and I needed a good night's sleep anyway. I'm in for the long haul today. 

Getting up, I take a quick shower and get dressed. As I stuff my breakfast in my face, I pour about a liter of coffee in my thermos. I'm going to need that thing today. Looking at the clock above my kitchen door I realize I'm running late, but there is one more thing I have to do. Smiling, I put the thermos and my bag down in the hallway before making a round through my apartment, opening all the curtains. These rooms haven't seen sunlight in years and I suddenly become aware of the amount of dust I never realized was here. Well, that just means I have to squeeze in some cleaning before Genma comes over in two days. While working a twelve hour shift each day. Probably even more because I still have to prepare the lessons before school starts and I'll have to help clean up at night too. I _so_ do not want to have to do this. But hey, it's part of my job. Apparently. Never was before but oh well… And since I don't want Genma to see this place like this, I'm going to have to clean until deep in the night as well. My eye catches the clock and I almost yelp – If I don't start running _now_ I won't even be in time for the bell! 

))O((

"Iruka!" The voice is eerily familiar, but as I look back I have no idea who that person is. Trying not to sigh, I stop walking and wait for the other guy to catch up to me. Classes are over and I'm on my way to the meeting slash really early dinner all the sensei are being forced to attend. Is this a parent who got here early? No, they would call me 'Iruka-sensei'… Maybe he's… Eh… I have no clue. 

"You're Iruka, right?" His voice somehow sends shivers down my spine, I _know_ I've heard it before, but I just can't _remember_ … Also, his familiarity is annoying me a little. Maybe it's just because his voice already sets my teeth on edge but I can't help it, I almost snap at him. 

"I'm Iruka- _sensei_ , yes. Can I help you with anything?" Like, showing you the exit? 

"Oh, you don't have to stand on protocol with me." 

_Excuse me?!  
_

"You and I are stuck together now, for the time being at least." 

The way he adds that second part, I can't help but feel like this is going to be trouble. Behind me, I can hear the door to the teacher's lounge open, my colleagues are probably wondering what's keeping me, "Look sir, I don't know who you are, and quite frankly I have work to do. So if you'll excuse –" 

"Don't _know_ me? Oh," Bringing his wrist up to his forehead, he rolls his eyes and sighs dramatically. Like he's _the_ stereotype of a gay man. Seriously, it's spot on! "That _hurts,_ Iruka! And after all the good things Genma's told me about you too!" 

Wait, _Genma_?! "You're Nobu, aren't you?" No wonder his voice alone gave me the creeps! 

"I am, I am. Nobu Hiterashi, at your service," He bows deeply, extravagantly so. Suddenly his eyes shoot up and he gives me one of the meanest looks I've ever seen – and I work with kids, I've seen a _lot_ , "But not really," Rising back up, Nobu models his face into politeness once more, his light and airy tone sounds more threatening to me than anything I've ever heard before, "You're stealing away my best friend after all!" 

No, I'm not. You're making a huge deal over nothing. Genma told me himself that he barely ever sees you… 

"Come here, give me a hug! You're practically my brother in law now!" Before I have a chance to protest, he reaches out and pulls me against himself so violently it almost hurts. His lips now close to my ear, Nobu suddenly whispers, "You better back off here, you filthy little creeper. Genma's not yours, nor will he ever be. Get the hell away from him before you _really_ piss me off," Releasing me, he pushes me off him so hard I almost fall to the ground before waving benevolently at the gathered sensei in the hallway and practically rushing away. 

I can't believe that just happened. I honestly can _not_ believe that _actually just happened!_

"Iruka?" Minami gingerly comes up to me, "Who was that?" 

Gritting my teeth, I turn around, "My boyfriend's best friend, apparently." 

She gasps, a light blush on her cheeks, "So it's true then? You're dating _him_?" 

Confused and still a little rattled from my earlier confrontation with Nobu, I frown, "Why the emphasis? His name's Genma. Genma Shiranui." 

Hanae peers around the corner, giving me a small smile, "That's the man that was in your classroom the other day, isn't it? I didn't want to interrupt so I skipped your classroom …" 

Hanae is our janitor, she's a really sweet lady, albeit a little slow sometimes. And a hopeless romantic. Which explains why I never leave anything laying around that could be misinterpreted. I once bought a box of chocolates to reward the students who gave the right answers. But when I threw the empty box away in my classroom's trashcan, Hanae went ballistic. She kept bugging me about who'd given the chocolates to me and wouldn't believe the truth. Eventually I just told her that we'd broken up already and that I didn't want to talk about it. Ever since, she's been hounding me with questions about my love life. The fact that most of the Academy sensei are either married or – let's call it 'undesirable' – doesn't help my case much either… 

"Yes, he was here yesterday. We had dinner. Now, can we please stop talking about this and get to work? We don't have much time as it is…" 

The others seem to agree and as we all – except for Hanae who is enviously exempt from this stupid thing and can go home as soon as she's emptied out the trash everywhere – shuffle into the teacher's lounge, I try to ban everything related to Nobu out of my head. Yes, that includes Genma, because for now I have to focus. Even though I kind of wish I could just snuggle up to Genma right now and rely on him to make me feel safe and wanted once more. Wait, rely on him? That's a bad thing… I shouldn't have to keep relying on him for something so simple. I shake my head a little, forcing myself to pay attention to what's going on around me. Looking up, I catch Minami's concerned look, but I ignore her. She wouldn't understand anyway. _I_ don't even understand. 

"Okay then. Now that we can _finally_ get down to business," The headmaster throws me an annoyed look, "Let's not waste any more time." 

Pulling the last of the bento boxes toward me, I keep my eyes on my food. Surprisingly enough, it's pretty good. I'd have figured they'd go for the cheapest option possible, but it seems someone out there actually cares about us lowly sensei after all. 

"Tonight, we can hopefully expect to see a lot of people who are interested in sending their child to our Academy. I realize the tuition fees have been going up some these last few years –" 

I almost snort, they've gone up alright. Astronomically so. The cost of putting your child in one of our classes has almost quadrupled over the last two years. Ever since we got this joke of a headmaster leading the show. I decide that I don't really have to listen to the headmaster's supposed pep talk, knowing full well that whatever we do here tonight, tomorrow night and the night after that doesn't mean _jack_ if we don't find a way to cut the costs back a little. Shouldn't be too hard. All we have to do is get rid of this wanker and get someone who actually cares about education in the headmaster's office. This guy seems to find new and exciting ways to waste money every single day. Pretty soon we'll only have the children of the major clans here. And before long, we'll have to close the doors altogether. Probably not though, he'll get replaced again pretty soon, I'm sure of that. 

"Our jobs are on the line here, people!" 

No, just yours. Which is probably why you're being all passionate about this. No-one else is. That's because _we're_ doing our jobs and you… Well, you're not, quite frankly. I wonder what Nobu does for a living? He refuses to work in his parent's restaurant - I get that that's not for everyone. But what does he actually _do_? He has to support his family _somehow_ , right? He sure doesn't look like a shinobi. And he doesn't look like does any kind of heavy work either. Hospital maybe? No, probably not. Most of them walk around in their uniforms all the time and Nobu sure seems like the kind of guy that would want the world to know he saves lives every single day. Maybe he's one of the civilians that does the paperwork so that us shinobi can keep doing our own jobs? No, I would've seen him around when I took my shifts at the mission desk. Store owner? Doesn't seem to fit. What else _is_ there? Then again, does it even matter what kind of job he has? Not really. 

Everyone is getting up now, so I get up as well even though I have _no_ idea where I'm supposed to go. Walking out of the teacher's lounge, I tap Minami on the shoulder, whispering, "Hey, I kind of missed… Well, everything. So, what are we doing now?" 

She chuckles lightly before whispering back, "We all go back to our own classrooms and stay there. When people come in, we have to answer all their questions," Looking around to see if anyone else is listening in, Minami pulls a little face, "We're only allowed to mention the good things. Advertise the school sort of thing. Honestly, I think this entire thing is useless. Everyone already knows what we do here, the only reason the admissions are declining is because of that – _him._ " 

I smile softly, reminding myself that Minami is even more prudish with her language than I am, "Okay, so… Since you're across the hall from me, what do you say we just hang out in the doorway till we can finally go home?" 

I guess her leaning against the doorframe of her classroom is supposed to be answer enough, so I take up position against the worn wood of my own classroom entrance. The second I do so, Minami shows me a naughty little smile, "So… How did you guys meet?" 

Why didn't I realize that my budding relationship with Genma would most likely be _the_ topic to discuss while waiting for the clock to strike nine and release us from our prison? "We… We've actually been aware of each other for a couple of years now… It just never really got to the point where one asked the other out, so…" 

"Hmm? That's stupid, Iruka," Cocking her head, Minami points her finger at me, "If you like someone, you gotta go for it! I know you've been hurt before, but that's no reason to just give up all together! Look at me, my fiancé cheated on me the day before the wedding! You know how torn up I was about that, but now –" Rubbing the back of her head a little uncomfortably she lets her gaze drift away from me, "Now… I'm kind of single again because Dude-who's-name-I-no-longer-wish-to-hear slept with my best friend…" Swallowing her tears away she looks up at me, eyes watery and her smile far from convincing as she waves somewhere in my general direction, "But I'm sure you'll be just _fine!_ Genma sounds like a _great_ guy! He's a great guy, right? Please tell me there's still some good men out there?" 

"He's amazing," Casually neglecting to inform her that I'm also a guy – and I'm a good one, right? She keeps talking to me after all – I give my slightly creepy coworker a warm smile, "I'm sure you'll find someone you really like too, Minami. You just have to keep at it, right?" 

"Oh, but why bother?" Sinking down, she pulls up her legs and wraps her arms around them, "All the good ones are either taken or gay…" 

Does that mean I'm one of the 'good ones'? Or am I _just_ gay? I don't know anymore. Days like these, Minami's all over the place. Taking a deep breath, I decide to try and cheer her up a little, first hand gossip usually does the trick, "Genma's a really good kisser…" 

"Oh?" Immediately, her attention snaps back to me and she scrambles to get up, "How many times have you kissed? How long have you been dating? Have you seen him naked yet? How does he look? Any big scars? Big scars are a plus, it means he's actually _done_ something with his life. Wait, he doesn't have tattoos, does he? Men with tattoos are the _worst_! They'll ditch you the moment someone prettier comes around. He doesn't have tattoos, right? _Tell_ me, Iruka! Don't just _stand_ there!" 

Like I could get a word in edgewise! "He doesn't have any tattoos as far as I've seen. And yes, I've seen most of him," I don't want to tell her I've only seen Genma in the near-dark, knowing that she'd have some questions about that too, "And he has a couple scars, nothing too bad," I'm not a fan of huge scars myself. For me, that just means that you either weren't paying attention, or you got in way over your head in the first place. I'd prefer to think of Genma as someone who's used to having everything under control. It feels safer that way. 

"He's pretty damn hot though…" 

"Yes," I smile wistfully, "Yes he is…" 

"Do you think he's got a girlfriend?" 

"What? No! He's with me, you dummy…" Shaking my head a little, I chuckle. But Minami looks at me like I'm crazy and I suddenly realize that my daydreaming about Genma might've caused me to miss something, "You didn't mean Genma, did you…?" 

"No silly! I meant that friend of his! What's his name?" 

"Nobu?" Frowning, I try to fend off any further inquiry, "He's married. Got a kid. Get him out of your head, he's no good for you." 

"Why not? I mean, if he's married I won't touch him of course, but why would you say he's better than me? That hurts, Iruka…" 

"No… I meant _you're_ too good for _him_ ," Nervously biting my lip, I wish that someone would show up now. Ask some questions or something. Maybe they'd even like a tour around the Academy. That would be _great_. I'd love to guide you around and get away from my men-obsessed colleague! But I have no such luck. 

"What's wrong with him then? Another one of those bastards? What did he do? Shouldn't you tell your boyfriend? If that's his best friend, I mean, he should know, right? Do you have any proof? Iruka, if he's –" 

"No, I don't have any proof, alright?!" Sighing, I turn away from her, "It's just a feeling I have. Look, I have some papers left to grade. Might as well do that while we're stuck here anyway. Maybe we'll talk some more later, okay?"


	17. Chapter 17

_**Author's Note:**_ Flashback time! But hey, it's another chapter, isn't it? :P

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ I do not own any of these characters, Kishimoto does. I only own my own creativity and _just a little courage.  
_

))O((

Just A Little Courage

))O((

"Here we are," Opening the door of my new, second story apartment, Ageha smiles briefly, "I know you didn't really request anything, but I figured I might as well get you a place with a view," He motions for me to go on ahead, closing the door behind him as I dawdle in the hallway. 

"So… This is where I'll live now?" Swallowing, I peek around the corner of the door to my left. The living room looks large now that it's still empty, but I know that empty space can be deceiving. There's a large window pane on the other side of the room, glass doors leading to a balcony. A balcony with a view… From the other side of the glass, the Hokage faces are looking back at me. They seem deceptively close, given that we didn't have to walk _that_ far to get here. Nervously fiddling with a loose thread on my shirt, I step into the room. The floors are carpeted, not what I'm used to but I'll manage. The wallpaper is a soft, pastel green. I can live with that. There are three shelves on the end wall to the left, forming a mock stairway of sorts. I imagine it's a great place to keep the books I use for school, with my desk underneath. I can even put my class picture under the highest one. That way I can look at my class whenever I need a little inspiration to keep up my work. At the end of the hallway lies the kitchen, larger than my previous one. I could probably fit a table in here. That's nice. If I had a table to put in there, that is… 

On the other side of the hallway lies a small, but adequate bathroom. Like the kitchen, the tiles are turquoise. A large shower takes up most of the space. I'm a little bummed at losing my bathtub, but I reckon that since I didn't say I want one, I'm in no position to complain now. Next to the bathroom is a small bedroom, or a study. I sure hope it's not the only bedroom in the apartment, since I'm pretty sure my bed won't even fit in here. 

Behind me, Ageha chuckles lightly. One of the happiest sounds I've ever heard him make, "Don't worry, Iruka. That's just the spare. The main bedroom is actually through the living room. It's an older building and the units have been repurposed a couple times, so it's a little confusing. If you step into the living room, it's the door to your left." 

Following Ageha's directions, I hesitantly cross the threshold to the living room once more. There are twodoors to my left, and another one to my right. Looking back at him questioningly, I open my mouth to ask for clarification, but Ageha simply smiles briefly, motioning for me to go on. Opening the first door, I realize it's nothing but a closet. It's pretty deep though, with six shelves going all the way up to beyond my reach. The second door leads to the bedroom I was looking for. It's not large, but it's enough space. My bed would fit, but I'm not too sure about my wardrobe. Looking around, I discover another door, opening it leads to the same closet that I opened from the living room – the door is still open and Ageha waves at me through the shelves. 

"It's a little weird, I admit. But this pass-through cabinet is roomy enough to use instead of your dresser if need be…" 

"I guess… But…" Frowning lightly, I look around the bedroom once more, "Where would I keep my towels…?" 

"There's a lot of storage space built into the apartment. I take it you're not used to that?" 

"No…" Shaking my head a little, I return to the living room, "My previous place wasn't as old as this one. It was build after…" I swallow hard, _after my parents died_. But that's not really what other people call it, "After the Nine Tails attack…" 

"I see… Well, he didn't destroy _this_ place…" Looking around, Ageha smiles a secret little smile, "It's almost a shame. The amount of money they had to pour in to keep this building inhabitable after the attack… It'd _probably_ been more cost-effective to tear it down and start anew," His smile turns a little apologetic as he faces me again, "I'm sorry. My husband works in real estate, so I kind of know a lot about it by now. He's also the reason I could find you a new apartment so quickly. This apartment has been up for sale for a few years now, ever since the previous owner passed away. But they couldn't manage to sell it, and so I got it cheap," He smiles briefly, clasping my shoulder with an air of familiarity that seems a little strange to me, "Of course _you_ still pay rent, but it goes through us now. Or rather, through my husband's agency. That's why we call it a safe house. No-one can back-track your bills, because they're all buried in one giant heap of paperwork. But you were wondering about towels, right? So why don't you go take a better look at the bathroom. I'm sure you'll find there's plenty of room to put your towels there." 

Nodding, I move past him and into the bathroom. The amount of turquoise is almost a little overwhelming, but I figure I'll come to get used to it in time. I quite like the color, it's just a little much. Aside from the separate toilet unit, there's a large sink with a mirror that falls all the way to the ground. Probably the main reason this room seems so incredibly _turquoise_ is that two of the walls are infinitely reflected in both the mirror, and the door of the shower across from it – which is basically a mirror itself. Someone must've _really_ liked looking at themselves… The shower is tucked away behind the toilet unit, and as I open that utterly reflecting door, I realize it's even larger than I first thought it was. I still wish there was a bathtub, but at least the shower's got plenty of room should I ever bring a guy in here with me. And we can totally see ourselves together in the mirror across the room. 

Wait, didn't I say I was _done_ with guys? And I _am_. Seriously. It's not like it's any use holding onto hope anyway. The guy that I'm _really_ after is never going to notice me anyway. And I'm pretty sure he's straight, too.

Next to the mirror that basically surrounds the entire sink, across from the door, is another spacious cabinet. Now that I see it, I really can't understand why I missed it the first time around – it's the only thing in here that's white. Well, the cabinet and the sink. And the toilet door, the toilet bowl itself… But still, how could I miss it? You know what? I'm just going to chalk it up to the fact that this entire day has been completely overwhelming. Behind me, I can hear Ageha move into the kitchen and I quickly turn to follow him. The man is leaning against the counter, pulling some paperwork out of his pocket. Looking up, he smiles briefly. I'm starting to get a little frustrated with that smile that seems almost sadder than tears, but I don't say anything. 

"So… Here's the paperwork. Rent, utilities, it's all on here. The building rules stipulate that there are no pets allowed, I didn't notice before. I'm sorry, if you need me to keep looking for –" 

"No, it's fine. I don't have pets anyway." 

"Alright… Well, in that case, I suggest you look around some more to make sure you're okay with this place. And if you are, you can sign here. If not, I'll ask my husband to find you a replacement as soon as possible, and we'll consider this a temporary lease." 

Smiling, I shake my head, "It's fine, Ageha. I think I like this place. I've kind of always wanted to see the Hokage faces from my window, so…" I can feel a small shrug tug at my shoulders, "Besides, it's closer to work, we passed two grocery stores in this very _street_ , there's more space here than I actually even need, and…" Glancing at the paperwork laid out on the counter, I smile, "It's even cheaper than my last place." 

"True. I looked up your rent so I wouldn't go over your budget. When my husband proposed this place, I figured you wouldn't mind being closer to the Academy. The grocery stores, I admit, sound like a nice bonus. I didn't know you wanted to see the Hokage faces, but it makes me even happier I chose this place instead of the other one he offered. The view there was also nice, but it showed the cemetery from the master bedroom. With your history I figured that might not be the best of ideas…" 

Taking a step closer, I take the offered pen, "My history…?" 

"We did a basic background check. It's standard procedure. So I know your job history and I now regret mentioning immediate family…" 

"Ah…" I shrug, "Don't worry about it. It's been years since they passed away. I'm not that lonely kid anymore…" 

"You're not a kid anymore, that's for sure…" Ageha's tone is soft, but I choose to ignore the implications of his words. It's true that I feel lonely right now. But I also feel scared, tired and overwhelmed. It'll pass. All of it. A few quick flicks of my wrist are all that's needed to sign the paperwork. And after I restack the pile, I look up again, "So… What happens now?" Looking around a little hesitantly, I offer Ageha a demure little smile, "I only brought a change of clothes and some toiletries. I don't have anything to, eh… To sleep on. Or to eat. Or… Anything…" 

He smiles his brief little sad smile, "You saw the other door in the living room, didn't you? Another closet. There's a bedroll and a blanket in there. In here," He opens one of the cupboards overhead, "We have some instant ramen and a pot. Kettle… a bowl and chopsticks… some other necessities… Nothing fancy, I'm afraid." 

"That's okay, I like ramen," Smiling a little, I take a peek at the stack of packs in the cupboard, "It'll do…" 

"Right. Well, today, the movers are packing up the rest of your things. They're used to working quickly, so they'll probably be done by nightfall. It's up to you whether you want to be here when they deliver your stuff or not. If you don't feel like you need to be here, you can just go to work and they'll put everything in." 

"And if I'd rather be here…?" I swallow hard, this is difficult for me. Just the fact that a couple of strangers are packing up my things is bad enough, I don't want to have strangers arranging things in my new apartment as well. But at the same time… "I can't really take the day off work on such short notice… It'll mean leaving the kids to the other sensei, and they all got classes of their own…" 

"I understand. If you don't want them in here while you're away, just say so. They'll start bringing your stuff by once you're home from work. In that case though, it might get a little late. We always try to keep moving everything over in one day. That way, there's less chance of someone following. Unless of course they notice someone doing exactly that, because if that happens, the entire thing gets put on hold until we can be absolutely certain this person poses no threat. Which is why it's probably best if you let me know if there's anything you need here as fast as possible, it'll be in the first load then." 

"Eh… My bed?" Chuckling lightly, I look around, "And maybe… There's a box marked 'photo's'… I kinda don't want them out of my sight for too long. Other than that… Some clothes, maybe…" 

Smiling briefly, Ageha nods, "So just the box with photo's then, because the other things you mentioned are going to be in the first load anyway." 

I nod, looking around once more. I think I kinda like this apartment. No… I know I do. 

))O((

I haven't been home for even thirty minutes when someone knocks on my door. It's a knock that's already gotten familiar: Ageha. Putting down the coffee mug that I temporarily borrowed from work, I quickly make my way over to the front door, hesitating only slightly before opening it. As expected, I am greeted by Ageha's sad smile before the older man motions for me to step aside as he does so himself as well. As I automatically push myself up against the wall of my hallway, the three men that showed up to my old apartment yesterday quickly walk by. One is carrying a couple of boxes and a large bag while the other two share the weight of my – now taken apart – bed. 

"I take it this is going in the master bedroom?" The first guy – the guy that had originally replied to Hikari – doesn't even wait for a reply as he rounds the corner into the living room, taking my bed with him. The guy carrying the boxes has slipped into the kitchen, gently setting his load on the counter before doubling back – he's _quick_. 

A little confused, I blink. It really has only been a day since I said goodbye to Hikari. Just a day since I went to Ageha for help. Just a day since I admitted that I really could not take it anymore. Time sure flies when your life has been taken over… 

Returning from the bedroom, the two guys make their way over to the front door. The one that had replied to Hikari just yesterday holds still for a moment, "Ageha, Iruka, it might be easiest if you two stay in the kitchen or something. We've managed to get everything in the apartment onto the cart, but we'll have to move quickly so we won't attract too much attention. Besides, Asao is watching the cart right now, but he doesn't have much time. It'd be easiest if we can finish bringing everything in with the three of us. We'll worry about assembly after, okay?" That last part was clearly directed at me, the slight panic I had felt bubbling up at the thought of having to put that darned bed together all alone _again_ must've showed in my eyes. 

Ageha nods, gently pushing me towards the kitchen, "Sounds like a plan, Hiroyuki. We'll stay out of your hair as much as possible, you guys just worry about getting everything inside as quickly as possible." 

I swallow hard as Ageha pushes me into the kitchen. Is all my stuff going to get strewn around this huge apartment? How am I ever going to find anything again if they hurry to get everything in like that? Sighing, I realize it doesn't matter. This is the only way, they've got experience doing this. At least I'm safe…

"Don't worry, Iruka. They've marked all the boxes, you'll be able to find your things again," He smiles briefly at my surprised look, "This always happens. Of course you wonder what's going to happen with all your belongings, where they're going to end up. Just please remember that this team has experience doing this sort of thing, alright?" As I nod, Ageha starts looking through the cabinet above the counter, "Is that the only coffee mug that Daisuke left you?" 

"Actually, I borrowed this from work. There's no mugs in the cabinet. Just one bowl…" 

"Oh…" Frowning, he turns to me, "I ought to have a talk with him then, leaving people without at least two coffee mugs sort of ruins my mood on moving day…" Pulling a face, he opens the cabinet again, grabbing the bowl I washed after my ramen breakfast, "So… Where's the coffee at?"

))O(( 

It didn't take the three men long to bring in all my stuff – of course, the fact that I don't own all that much probably helped too. After bringing in the last of the boxes, the youngest had excused himself to bring the cart back to the station. Ageha had told him that he could go home after that – a small thing that brought me some relief as the guy had made me feel rather uncomfortable yesterday and I'd somehow rather not have him linger in my new place for too long.  
After bidding goodbye to his colleague, Hiroyuki swiftly opened one of the boxes that had been brought in first. It revealed my dishes – including my four large coffee mugs. Chuckling at the sulky expression his boss suddenly sported, Hiroyuki proceeded to quickly clean three of the mugs before filling them with the coffee I just brewed. 

Setting the bowl that Ageha had been using as a makeshift coffee mug in the sink, the other man – who's name was Ikkaku, apparently – directed his attention to me, "Iruka, the way I see it, putting the bed together is a two-man job. We've just taken it apart so it'd be easiest if we're the ones putting it back together, agreed?" I nod silently, internally feeling very relieved that I won't have to struggle with the darned thing again, "So in the meantime, I'd ask you to walk around a bit and decide where you want things. If it's heavy, we'll help you move the furniture to wherever you want it, if it's not too bad, please just go ahead and put things where you want them." 

"It'll give you a better overview of the things you still need," Hiroyuki added, "If you want, I can go with you to get some additional furniture this weekend." 

"I can only help out on Saturday," Ikkaku smirked, "And I have to go by five or my lady will scold me till kingdom come." 

"Last chance to make up for forgetting your anniversary?" 

Sighing dramatically, Ikkaku lowered his coffee mug, "Hiro… This is my last chance to make up for having to work on her birthday, forgetting about the anniversary _and_ admitting that I'd rather not have dinner over at her folks' house on my own damned birthday… And it only cost me reservations for the most expensive restaurant she could find… If I'm late this time, you'll be heading the investigation into my sudden disappearance." 

Shaking his head a little, Hiroyuki finishes off his coffee, "Well then, let's make sure we get to work so the good sensei can figure out what he still needs," Smiling at me briefly, he follows his colleague out of the kitchen, nodding at Ageha as he passes. 

))O((

Ikkaku and Hiroyuki are quick to assemble my bed once more – a hesitant peek into the bedroom shows that they've even made the bed for me. Ageha and I haven't sat still either, happy as I was to finally be able to do something and make decisions about my own apartment I've worked hard to arrange everything the way I want it. The head of the Minority Harassment Taskforce has proved invaluable in this effort, his keen eye certainly helped me put together a good layout for my new apartment in no time at all. So when the two men exit the bedroom – and I silently vow that that'll be the last time anyone I don't really know gets to go in there – we're all done deciding on how my new place will look. And what I will need in order to make that happen. A couch, kitchen table and chairs, a bookcase and some lamps. That last addition proved essential as the sun started to set: Even with the ceiling lamp turned on the room was gloomy and dusky. It instantly made me feel down and Ageha noted that more light would probably help solve the problem. 

Nodding at the empty space surrounding my coffee table, Hiroyuki smiles warmly, "Guess we're going shopping this weekend?" 

"If you're sure you don't mind…" My own smile is rather hesitant, though I must admit that this man feels safe. Maybe even as safe as Ageha does. Definitely safer than Ryouichi. But then… that's not really hard. 

"I'm happy to do it, Iruka," He gives me another encouraging smile, "it'll be fun."

))O((

They've all gone home now. To their girlfriends, their husband. I'm sitting on the floor cushions that have been brought over from my old apartment. They desperately need replacing but I've decided I'll use them for the time being – just until this Saturday. 

There's a weird feeling in my stomach, it's a feeling that I just can't place. Hiroyuki said it would be fun. Fun… What was that like again? 


	18. Chapter 18

_**Author's Note:**_ Hi! *waves*

 _ **Disclaimer:**_ I do not own any of these characters, Kishimoto does. I only own my own creativity and _just a little courage.  
_

))O((

Just A Little Courage

))O((

Opening my front door I stumble into the apartment that for the last few years has been ´home´. I´m tired and annoyed – though I suppose that's my own darned fault. I should've realized that Minami would spend the entire evening trying to learn as much about my relationship with Genma as she possibly could; it's what she does, after all. Besides, not like there's much else to do when we're stuck at work till 9 PM. 

Exhausted, I turn into my living room, intending to go straight through to my bedroom and the blessed nothingness of the deep sleep that comes with total exhaustion. But as I step into my living room, I freeze. The curtains are open! Why are the curtains open? Did someone break in and open them? Are they still here? Is it _that_ person…?  
No… wait… I did this myself, didn't I? I opened all the curtains in my entire apartment before leaving for work this morning. That's right. I was thinking about how safe I felt and how I was going to start anew. I'm such a fool… What's the point in opening the curtains if you leave early in the morning and don't make it back home until after dark? Why would I put myself through a death-scare like that after a day like the one I've just had? What's the point? What am I trying to prove here? That I'm not scared anymore? But I friggin' _am_! I'm terrified at the thought of someone peeking in. This morning I was full of hope and happiness – tonight I feel despair and loneliness. I miss Genma. I miss Ageha. I even miss Hikari, can you imagine? I wonder how she's doing… I haven't seen her since I moved in here. Part of me hopes she's okay, that she finally realized that she deserves better than the slew of boyfriends that only use her for quick gratification – but then, it's not like I'm a naïve moron. She's probably still serial-dating jerks. With or without kids hanging off her skirt. I sigh, finally managing to move my body towards the windows so I can start the daunting task of closing all of my curtains. 

As I make my round through my apartment I find my mind wandering, thinking about people who have long since been cut out of my life. It makes me feel lonely. Even if, in some cases, it was my own decision. It's just that I'm realizing – not for the first time – that I really don't have anyone. Well, now I've got Genma. But other than that? I have three friends whom I rarely ever see and I have my class and coworkers – obviously these are not exactly people I hang out with after work. 

Letting out a small sigh, I open the door to my storage room because I can't remember if I was stupid enough to open the curtains in here too. As a familiar duskiness greets me, I move to close the door again, but my eye catches on a dark shape and without thinking I move further into the room. Picking up the leather bound book, I let myself sink down into the pile of old floor pillows. Opening the cover I find myself smiling softly as my parents' faces greet me with their own smiles. 

I´d all but forgotten this was in here, given that I don't allow myself much time to dwell on the past. The photobook is important to me, but I don't look at it often. It must´ve been… before I moved here? No, I did look it in the first night I was here. Looking at mom and dad helped me calm down a little. That day had been rough, more so even than today. Flipping through the pages I feel a warm smile tugging at my lips. My mother really loved making photo albums. She made one for every year, with little notes next to the picture about what was happening at the time. Or sometimes just to comment, things like "Look at that cute milk moustache!". This particular book is only slightly singed, the other two that were taken from the wreckage that was once our home look a lot worse. One of those is their marriage album, the other the unfinished one that mom was working on at the time. I like this one better. It doesn't come with quite as painful memories, nor does it have the faces of people I've never met in it. In this particular album I am eight years old – the horrible incident that left me to grow up all alone is still two years off. When I look at these pictures, I can almost pretend it didn't even happen. That mom still spends each year busily taking pictures to put into the yearly album. 

I wonder if Genma would be okay with her taking pictures all the time. He's pretty laidback, but you never know. Besides, would mom even want him in the album? She would, wouldn't she? He's my boyfriend after all. They'd be okay with that, right? I never once believed that my parents would be opposed to my orientation, but still. Who knows how they'd feel about their son finally growing up, getting a boyfriend, building a life? They'd be happy for me, I know. But it'd still be a little nerve-wracking to introduce Genma to them. Just like Genma was a little nervous to introduce me to Kame and Eiji. I wonder how it would go, introducing him to my parents. Wonder what they'd say… 

My head is a little fuzzy as I try to picture the conversation we'd have. My eyelids droop a little and my body slides sideways against the dresser that's been in here forever. I should probably go to bed…


End file.
